Do you think this is a good idea in a marriage?...i read this article...?

Question

A Bizarre Feature Popular in New Houses
If you're thinking about building a new house, beware the builder may ask you if you want two master bedroom suites--one for the Mr. and one for the Missus. Turns out, this is the latest rage in new homes, with the National Association of Home Builders predicting that 60 percent of custom-built homes will have two master bedroom suites by 2015. Why? It ensures a more harmonious marriage,It wasn't too long ago that separate bedrooms meant the marriage was failing; now it's viewed as a practical necessity that helps individuals get seven to eight hours of uninterrupted sleep especially as both husbands and wives juggle child care and work responsibilities. Stephanie Coontz, an expert on families, told The New York Times that many couples are "confident enough that they have a nice marriage, but they don't particularly like sleeping in the same room." She adds, "I don't think it says anything about their sex lives." So if you're intrigued by the idea, but wonder what your friends and family will say, do what many builders are doing. Call that second bedroom a "flex suite."

I personally would not like that, isn't the point of marriage to be a couple, as one...ya know, i just think this is crazy...

Answer 1

I can't think of a worse idea. With busy lifestyles these days sometimes the only time my fiance & I have to connect is at bedtime. I personally enjoy sleeping with him him next to me & find it hard to sleep if he isn't there.

Answer 2

Well the answers posted make it pretty clear that "it's not for everyone," but to conclude that it is a "good" idea or a "bad" idea...well, point is, you can't. For some marriages, separate bedrooms is a good thing that can absolutely help to sustain the marriage, while for other marriages separate bedrooms would either reflect a problem or cause one (or several).

To the person who says the solutions to snoring or bad sleeping are Breathe Right and a Sleep Number bed, well I'm happy for that person that s/he doesn't have any real troubles along those lines, but if s/he did that would not and could not have been her/his answer.

Separate bedrooms used to be rather mainstream. On this I'm willing to bet: they worked well for some couples then (and not as well for others), just as separate bedrooms will work for some couples now (and not others).

As for me and my own preferences...I think I'd like it in some respects, but I know myself and I would have to be very careful about working hard so as not to become in some way distanced from my spouse. But, that's me. We did sleep in separate bedrooms throughout most of my pregnancy, when I was on doctored ordered bedrest a lot of the time and huge and uncomfortable with a multiple pregnancy, and then for several months after the babies came home from the hospital, when my overnights were spent in the nursery to do "night duty." I will say this: my husband and I were both very much aware of the fact that we got far superior nights' sleep sleeping apart than we ever do together. And for those who think that sleeping apart is an unmitigated "bad" for a marriage, let me tell you that sleep deprivation causes a lot of things that are not healthy for any relationship; a well rested person is, in general, a happier person, and a far better person to be around, than one who is chronically exhausted and worn down.

Answer 3

Hmm....that's really interesting! I've never heard that was a trend. I think it can be a positive or a negative depending on the motivation of the married couple. I really think most of the reasons listed above are kind of b.s. though.....you're not going to sleep in the same room b/c you have to get up for work earlier than your spouse? Seriously? As for getting a good night's sleep, that can be solved by getting a good king size bed. I think there are much more positives than negatives to staying in one room together. I think waking up next to the person you love promotes togetherness and is often the only "alone" time you may get all day. I think it promotes cuddling and closeness.

Answer 4

I wonder how many bedrooms a house would need to have in order to even think about a second master bedroom.

I don't like the idea. I like sleeping with my husband. I don't miss my independance, and sleeping alone.
But I can see how it would work for some people, Maybe people who work together during the day, and feel like separating at night?
Still, this just doesn't sound "natural" to me.

I bet you if we had two master bedrooms, then we would end up sleeping one time in one, one time in the other... but together!

Answer 5

I think its commentary on how insane modern life is. This is more for people that married a morning person when they are a nightowl and someone who has to have dead still/dead quiet to sleep. different problems like that. Back in the 1800's they thought by now that mankind would be living a life of leisure and enjoyment of intellectual pursuits that would propel men to a philosophical utopia the likes of which had never been seen this side of Heaven. The reason they were sure of this is because of all the labor saving devices that were rapidly being developed. But the reality is we just find more to do with the time that gets opened up! So much for Utopia!

Answer 6

My boyfriend and I live togeather and we sleep separate on the weekdays. We both love our sleep. We find it much more pleasurable than fighting for covers, leg room, and elbow fights at night. We've determined that this will be the best thing for us until we can get a King size bed.

I don't think that it means the relationship is failing. We do everything else togeather, but we both agree that a full nights sleep is important. Now, we share a bed on the weekends. Gotta have some quality time.

Answer 7

I think it's an awesome idea! My husband and I sleep in different rooms; he is gracious enough to let me have the master bedroom, and he uses the guest room. If we had two master bedrooms, it would have been so much better! We have a good marriage, but he snores a lot, and I'm an insomniac and stay up late. In separate rooms, we can get a much better goodnight sleep. I think, in our next home we'll have to have this "flex" suite! :)

Answer 8

There are lots of married couples who sleep in different rooms, mainly for the purpose of just being able to sleep. Either somebody snores, or the other tosses and turns too much, or (usually the man) has bad gas, etc. As long as they continue the conjugal visits, and love each other, it's not a problem.

Answer 9

I would not assume that two master bedrooms is a trend for a couple to live apart. I would think that in this day and age of high prices, that two families or relatives join together to purchase one house and that there needs to be two masters for the two families....

Answer 10

lots of new homes they are building around us do have what they call two masterbedrooms but mostly its advertised as masterguestrooms which makes since to me i wish we had one we have lots of guest and they have to use the hall bathroom carrying stuff in and out or leaving items in there if they are staying very long and then the hall bath is hard to use when entertaining others when someones stuff is laying everywhere. so yes i think its great...i seen a talk show about married folks using them also to get good nights sleep too. so i think its going to get more common and wont be looked down on...so who cares which masterbedroom is getting the sex in fact you look at it as slipping into a strange bed room and find a woman or man in there to have pleasure with haha j/k

Answer 11

I'd sure like my own master bedroom. Fact is we get Plenty of looks & double takes when we talk about our sleeping arrangements. My wife runs a business in the home & I work downtown. We both need our sleep. We both also SNORE! Although she claims not to hear herself! So I sleep in one of the upstais bedrooms and her in the master downstairs. As she explains it to others, "We go to bed together, we just don't sleep together."