She's driving me crazy with this! We raised a great kid who up and disapeared on me when puberty hit. Now she feels like a depressed loser if she doesn't have a boyfriend.
This guy was ok at first, but I had that 'mom' feeling and I was leary but cordial to him. They dated for 7 months then he dumped her and dated a few of her friends. It's been 5 months since the break-up and she hasn't dated anyone else and has been hung up on him the entire time and now he's back to paying attention to her... I really don't want her to get her heart broken again. She was just starting to be her old self again and now I'm afraid she's going to be on a temporary high becuuse he's into her again, but what happens in a few weeks when he decides that he's bored with her again and one of her friends is more interesting? Unfortunately I know she won't listen to me because this is what she's been hoping for for the last 5 months... I have high hopes for my daughter and they don't include him. Advice?
2007-07-20 06:17:19 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Sadly this is just one of the downfalls to teen life. She won't listen to you because to her, her heart is telling her something different. Just be there for her, and keep communication open by allowing her to talk to you. Don't be too judgemental and don't try to push your opinons on her. Just make her aware of your concerns and why you feel she would be better off without him. If you treat her like an adult she's more likely to act like one and see the "not so good" side to her prince. I know this is all easier said than done.... the teenage years are the most difficult. As parents we want to guide our children down the right paths, and protect them from any pain we see coming on. but we all know that experience is the best way to learn anything. And if she feels like this getting back with him is still the right decision, even after talking with you, then you have to let her. Just keep a close eye on things, and be there to help when he does her wrong.
2007-07-20 06:22:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know it is going to be hard on you, but this is one life lesson you cannot teach her. I think if he does break up with her again, and considering what you have told us I can almost bet he will, talk to her about being treated fairly in relationships. I would be a little worried about her becoming pregnant. She is at that age where most girls think they can "trap" a guy by having a baby. I know she would not get that impression from you, but I can bet at least one or two friends are telling her to get pregnant. I would first start by having a good long talk with her about birth control, and not allow them to be alone unsupervised. See if you can get her involved at a local teen center. Help her start a hobby, get involved volunteering at a local hospital, anything to keep her busy and her mind off this boy. If her father is willing to give advice, or a trusted male friend, have them sit down with her and explain to her what guys like that really want. Have them tell her that he is using her, and her friends. I hope this helps some.
2007-07-20 09:08:20 · answer #2 · answered by omorris1978 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 16? Yes. They're together for 9 months so it's more then fine imo. Make sure she knows about anti-conception and let them have fun I would say :p. Besides, if they want too you can't stop them anyway, That's the funny thing about those "no's" here imo. I know I was happy I had a nice bed to go to if I wanted too :p. Is nice to do it in an actual bedroom instead of the backseat of a car.
2016-04-01 03:49:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Letme give you some advise of a 16 year old! I know how hard it must be for you to see your babies heart get broken but you have to remember that she is a teenage girl and thats part of life. I would have to say just stay out of it and let her be a kid! BUT if you MUST talk to her about this than I'd say just simply remind her that he broke up with her and went with her friends and tell her to remember that pain and how that felt and she deserves better. But like you said she never really got over him so she felt that pain for 5 months and never got over him. Just let kids be kids and do what teens do. Heartbreaks come with being a teen girl. And it will only make her stronger trust me. He'll do something really stupid and ur daughter will gain her senses. Just let it play out! Good luck!
2007-07-20 06:28:23 · answer #4 · answered by Briana 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the only things i would advise for you is taking your daughter out. do something you guys enjoy(ed) together. the less time she has to think about the situation, the more she will be able to open up to you again. if she still doesn't budge, spend a whole day with her. wait for that perfect moment when her guards are down, and you can ask her. ADVISE her, don't TELL HER WHAT TO DO, or she'll just get defensive. relate to her, and tell her about your experiences.. if you dont have any,.. make it up!!! hahahah. i promise it will get through to her eventually. remind her that to have a love that lasts, you have to have a good foundation. compare it to your own life, and she'll begin to understand.
2007-07-20 06:23:52 · answer #5 · answered by heideezy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are always going to be critical of her boyfriends, as you should be. Needing a boyfriend is a phase that she will grow out of. Make extra effort to spend time with her. Take her to the mall. Go out to dinner. Talk to her and become her friend. Then you will know when to expect trouble, and she will have you to fall back on if her boyfriend splits again.
2007-07-20 07:12:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
remind her of the bad things he did
u as a parent have controll
dont let ur kid take control
its gonna feel bad butdo u want the best for your daughter or not??
2007-07-20 06:22:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So tell him he's not allowed around your daughter, and if he so much as touches her, you'll have his butt arrested for statutory rape(if he's over 18, otherwise forbid him to be around your daughter). Being your daughter is so hung up on him, I wonder if she gave him her virginity.
2007-07-20 16:26:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
trick me once, shame on you
trick me twice, shame on me
you have to let her get her heart broken again, experience is the best teacher, i know, it taught me.
2007-07-20 06:22:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
talk to her remind her that he dumped her and why. tell her that he dated and dumped her friends this guy is no good for her
2007-07-20 06:21:27 · answer #10 · answered by kleighs mommy 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋