How do i get my girlfriend to go thru with getting rid of it? She’s having second thoughts about keeping it after we had agreed along time ago that if this “accident” or something similarever occurred, that she’d get rid of it. She was taking birth control pills, but they failed to do the job. we are both in our early 30's and enjoy life to the fullest. i can't stand kids (hate is a strong word, but i hate them basically) i have never, nor will i ever change a diaper (that's a woman's job anyway) nor will i be there for the late night feedings. the baby is just going to eat away at our savings (accounts which i'm fixing to close so she can't touch it) and i'm going to have to trade in one of my bmws to get a ridiculous minivan. there's no way that's happening! I already notice my gf is eating more and starting to get a belly. i like my women skinny and flexible..if she's pregnant, she just won't be able to satisfy me. i don't want things to change. i don't want a kid.i've told her this
2007-07-20 05:12:59 · 18 answers · asked by steven mcd 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
she thinks i'm going to change my stance, but i won't. i dont' want to have anything to do with her if she decides to keep the baby. how can i get her to see my side and talk some sense into her? she's got the perfect body (well did a couple of weeks ago) and i was so happy with her. this kid is just going to mess everything up. i am willing to move to another city just to not have her around if she keeps it. how can i talk her (and her parents, they're already excited) into not keeping it? my parents back me up on this, and told me they'd cut off my inheritence if i have this kid with her. it may have to do with the fact that my gf is black, so they don't believe in having mixed grandkids. what do i do?! i dont' need you to judge my decision...i just need advice on how to convince her to do the right thing. I won't be a good father, and if the baby is born, it's going to be in a hostile enviroment w/ the families. it's a no lose situation all the way around. it's not the right time!
2007-07-20 05:14:06 · update #1
The decision is not just yours.. It’s hers too. If she decides to keep it, I think you, as the father, should support her.. else be prepared to pay child support! I don’t mean to sound rude, but, you have to see it in her shoes. Do you realize how hard it is to get an abortion? It is very difficult.. You have a connection with this baby that you created and is growing inside of you. It’s not surprising she has the urge to keep it.. And if she is set on it, there is little you can do to change her mind.
If you want, there are many counselors at abortion clinics. Take her to one of them, maybe it will help her feel less guilty and understand it’s the best for the unborn baby and both of you to get an abortion. She is going to need your support 100% through this time..
If you guys don’t want to go to the abortion clinic, just find ANY counselor or therapist. Sit down with them, communicate both of your guys’ sides.. Let the therapist help you guys realize the pro’s and con’s. It is much easier to express your feelings and get insight on your situation from a neutral outsider who can give you advice that maybe you or her are too blinded to see by your emotions.
Whatever you guys decide and figure out, just know you are in it together. It takes two to tango, you know.
Anyway.. this is a difficult situation for sure. I wish you guys the best of luck and hope for the best.
2007-07-20 05:21:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Boy (and you are a boy) you are an unbelievably selfish person. And irresponsible. And more.
Why didn't you use condoms? Double protection . All birth control pills have a (small) failure rate.
Your BMWs and your lifestyle are so shallow, so completely meaningless.
And the underlying racism of your family is very revealing. Would your parents want a grandchild if it was white? Sick family. Sick you. You are also a bigtime sexist, don't you know that?
What exactly do you have to offer any woman except access to your BMW.
Because your girlfriend wants to keep this baby is natural.
You're both in your 30s but her time for babies is running out. You describe her as though you were having a relationship with a hooker.
Your financial obligations are obligations you cannot get out of. I hope she finds a super lawyer. Go, move to another city. Your child doesn't need a father like you. You're probably just like your parents.
She is so well rid of you.
I hope you remember your attitude now when you get older and can't get it up. You'll have to stock up on those little blue pills to get anywhere.
Then you will see what a nothing you are and were. A mere F machine.
2007-07-20 06:22:52 · answer #2 · answered by kia 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My vote is for you to get a really good job and plan in your budget to pay child support, health insurance for the child and put away money for college for the child. Leave your girlfriend that you are obviously ashamed of alone, let her have the baby that you both created. She was on the pill, what did you do Mr. Self Centered to prevent this baby from being conceived? Why blame her and why kill an innocent chiild? If your parents are so prejudiced that they don't want a "mixed" grandchild then they don't deserve any grandchildren and quite honestly they should have raised their son with morals, values and honor. They chose to not abort you, they chose not to give you away - no one holds that choice against them - so leave the mother and her family alone. You reap what you sow - what you're doing now might come back to bite you in huge financial loss, not ever being able to have children, or worse - you'll still be cut out of the will for your next selfish endeavor. Can you even look yourself in the mirror? While I am very pro-life - I think if we could rewind your life given how you've turned out - wonder how many people that know you would have recommended abortion for you? What legacy do you leave?
2007-07-20 05:25:20 · answer #3 · answered by YankeeBelle 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow, how selfish that is! how can you tell your girlfriend to get rid of it!? Do you know that is MURDER?! You are asking her to kill a little human being, even though you don't see it doesn't deny the fact that that is a human being inside her tummy and you play a part in the process. 30's is old enough to be responsible, don't make excuse to cover your selfishness - ugly! I think it's time you get mature and learn to be a responsible person and a loving spouse.
I have a friend he kept saying he doesn't like babies and his wife went through 10 abortions because she loved him so much. Guess where she is now? Heaven - died of cervical cancer at age 35. I know for each kid you have, you'll lose a Mercedes Benz, so what? money comes, money goes. If you love your girlfriend, love what is living inside her. Stick with her decision.
2007-07-20 05:28:02 · answer #4 · answered by Tiger Lily 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are legally obligated to this child-move away if you want, but the courts will find you. Being a jerk about it won't help. I do appreciate that you ADMIT to hating kids instead of just personally raising and hating one of your own. Sorry you aren't getting everything you want, including a dead fetus, but life's tough that way sometimes. Hope you and your BMW will be very happy together.
2007-07-20 05:30:27 · answer #5 · answered by starrystarrynight 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A great way to get your ex back is https://tr.im/9Qvip
They might realize they need you and come crawling back!
If you do get back together, don't let the same issues that destroyed your relationship crop up again. Have a good, long talk about how you're both going to make it right this time.
2015-02-02 13:17:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do the act, own up. She has a choice because it's HER BODY. She gets to choose. Your role in the whole thing got complicated, hers did too.
You have this image of little monsters in your head. "Eat away our savings" Are your freaking serious? Break up, and be the deadbeat you're going to turn into. Take your precious BMWs and find yourself a nice little place away from her and the child she will grow to love.
You have no option in the deal, and trying to convince her otherwise isn't your role. You can express youd disapproval, but that's about it.
Leave her alone and go "satisfy" yourself elsewhere.
2007-07-20 05:21:16 · answer #7 · answered by chaoss13 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You have a very complicated situation. i'm a girl, and if my boyfriend is acting like you, i would still keep the baby and race him on my own. As for u, if ur not ready, don't get married. You'll only make another mistake. It's already there, u have to be ready for the consequences...
2007-07-20 05:22:53 · answer #8 · answered by xandra27 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
OK so you told her, accidents happen and YOU need to step up to the plate and face YOUR responsibilities. She DID NOT make this baby by herself, and your point of view is outdated by thirty years. GET OVER YOURSELF AND DO WHAT IS RIGHT. If you really don't want this child the keep your pants zipped and this won't happen.
p.s. it is my opinion that you should be shot! and if she wants this baby maybe in twenty years it will come back to bite you in the ***.
2007-07-20 05:26:36 · answer #9 · answered by outtaonesmind 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
take what god has given you, trust me, its a blessing in discise, and when your teaching him/her how to play ball, youll really think about what you got, youll never regret it. but if you both do what you want her to do, every year that gos by on that day him/or/she was to be born,regret will be what fills your heart, i should know. my ex gf did just that, and i had really not much say so in this. then less then a year after, she started to cheat & lie, now shes just a barfly, with drugs & booze, and half the spurs team in her bed evrynite, thats what she wanted. your girl sounds like shes ready to have a family with you. take it my friend, you mite have this chance again in this life!
2007-07-20 05:27:13 · answer #10 · answered by FATCAT 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋