I am pregnant and many members in my family can not come into the delivery roomin according to hospital regualtions. I do not want to hurt anyones feelings. I hired a doula and she does not count as a person but a medical staff member she will be there to suppport me through my whole labor and delivery! I wish they could all be in the room but I do not want to play favorites. I have 2 aunts, 2 cousins, 2 sisters who want to come in What should I do!
2007-07-20 04:52:25 · 16 answers · asked by Dorothy L 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
The father is considered a support person and does not count as a vistor.
2007-07-20 04:57:50 · update #1
Ask all of them to be there. That way if you get sick of one of them they can switch out. I know that sounds mean but trust me it happens. You may find that you don't want any of them in the room when you give birth or just some. This is your decision and what you feel comfortable with. Don't let your family members guilt their way into the room either. Hope this helps. Btw, the doula can be the go between with the family members and switching them out so that you don't have to worry about hurting anyone's feelings.
2007-07-20 05:00:06 · answer #1 · answered by mamadiers 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Supporting a laboring woman is hard work. They will probably need to take turns. Two can be resting, two can be available to run errands and two can be in the room with you. After an hour or so, rotate. You may find that one or two women in particular help you to relax and get comfortable, so it's OK to ask them to stay with you.
Your labor and your baby's birth are not the time to worry about social obligations or hurting someone else's feelings. Do what makes YOU feel best and everyone else can deal with it. These women are there to SUPPORT you, not make you feel bad. They will understand and respect your wishes (I hope). If they choose to cause drama, that's their issue, not yours.
BTW, do you even want all these people in the delivery room? It's perfectly OK to say no if you prefer to keep it more private. It's all up to you.
2007-07-20 12:02:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to pick the ones who have had children or that have had experience with being in a delivery room. That way they know what you are going through and can help you better. Younger people or those without children might become uncomfortable because they are not sure what they can do for you. Tell them "I want all of you in there but since I can't I'm going to let (blank) in to help me since she knows what I'm going through." The others can wait at the nursery for the baby or in the waiting room.
I had the same problem with my first son. I had 6 people who volunteered to be in there. At the end it was just my husband. And if they really care about you they won't care.
2007-07-20 12:01:52 · answer #3 · answered by snowe18 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it would be too much to have six additional people in the room when you do give birth. if it were my decision i would just opt for who has to be there (doula, dad, nurses). there will be a lot of people in there anyway and it gets very stressful if there are too many people in there when you give birth. i had my mom, mother in law, sister, brother in there and i was about to pull my hair out. it was very stressful. so just avoid hurting peoples feelings by stating your opinion. Good luck it will all be ok in the end and an early congratulations to you!
2007-07-20 12:01:35 · answer #4 · answered by Maddie and Jacobs mom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them your dilemma and maybe they can help. Who knows, maybe they will say something like "well, even though I would love to be there with you, xxxxxx is closer to you." It's worth a shot. If nothing else, you probably should do some kind of drawing or contest. Good luck with the baby!
2007-07-20 12:00:02 · answer #5 · answered by cdatmommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congrats on having a doula - I wish there were good ones around here!!!! I would have them all trade - maybe keep the sisters in there at all times and switch out the others, they will probibly be in the waiting room anyway! GOOD LUCK AND CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-07-20 11:57:19 · answer #6 · answered by Mommyof3 BGB 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let them take turns let your sis come in for an 1/2 hour or so then tell her to send in your aunts for awhile then your cousins, and keep up the cycle that is what i did the only person who stayed with me the whole time was my hubby
good luck chances are they will understand
2007-07-20 11:58:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
pick the one who will be able to provide you the best support- you're going to need it. tell the others you appreciate their desire to be there but due to hospital regulations, you can only choose one and not to be offended by your decision considering it is just that - YOUR decision.
p.s. i was told i was only allowed to have 2 people so i chose my husband and my mom but in the end, they also allowed my mother-in-law too since she wanted to be there.
2007-07-20 11:58:42 · answer #8 · answered by raspberry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would ask your sisters as they are closer family ties than your aunts or cousins. Or, invite whomever you feel closest to. They will all understand.
Congratulations on your new baby.
2007-07-20 11:55:54 · answer #9 · answered by Stephanie F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all as long as they all know it is a hospital regulation, noone should be to upset with youthat they cannot participate. second I would choose the person that you are most comfortable with
2007-07-20 12:03:51 · answer #10 · answered by HMS88 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋