I've been to numerous online dating sites and have taken many of their site "personality" tests to determine what type of person I am and how good of a match I would be, etc, etc, etc. One constant trend I've found is that I would be a good partner in a relationship as it was determined I'm a very committed person in a relationship and desire a long term relationship. But here's the catch, the test results have proven over and over again, I don't trust people and find it hard to believe people would do nich things for me without a hidden agenda.
I've been on other non dating websites, and took other personality tests as well, and they pretty much say the same thing. I have problems trusting people but would be a good partner in a relationship because of my high standards for commitment.
Am I screwed ? Is there any Monday Night Doctors out there who can give me some advice how to get better at trusting people. (Websites, books, message boards, etc, etc)
Thanks in advance
2007-07-20 04:01:08 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Do you find any irony in trusting what these personality tests say about you? If you're that distrustful of people, why trust what personality tests say about you. Besides, personality tests have very little variability, especially shortened online ones. Don't put faith in what they say about you.
If you think they're accurate, you'll look for ways to prove that they're right.
However, if there is some truth to what the results say about you it doesn't mean you're screwed. It may mean that it'll take you a while to trust someone before opening yourself up to being in a trusting, committed relationship. But it sounds like once you have reached that level with someone, you'll be faithful and commited. So that is a positive side of it.
But my advice is don't let those tests define you!
2007-07-20 04:18:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Often not trusting others can come from being hurt young by somebody that violated your trust in them. You may well benefit from some counseling to help you ark with this issue.
I have a Friend that was abused as a child and so has a very hard time trusting people - but she found a gentle and caring husband and they have been together for almost 18 years.
Just work on building relationships slowly and not putting yourself quickly in a position with a relationship where you will be hurt if they do not act as you would anticipate.
2007-07-20 04:14:37 · answer #2 · answered by keezy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust is at the top on the list of what is important in a relationship.
I'd suggest professional counseling to shake your innate distrust.
While everyone might have an alternative agenda in being nice - most often the hidden agenda is simply that it makes them feel better to be nice.
2007-07-20 04:11:22 · answer #3 · answered by Pantros 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A general inability to trust in relationships can stem from childhood experiences. Maybe your parents were not "trustworthy" with your emotions when you were little? Maybe you learnt that other people were not safe in some way? It's worth exploring the messages you received when you were young, to understand why you might believe that people generally cannot be trusted.
2007-07-20 04:09:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what you need to do; you need to be brave. Just once allow someone inside, even if it feels new and not quite right. Little by little you will open up a little more, and be open to loving and being loved. I know exactly how you feel, and there were times when I just couldn't let anyone in. And when I did, it felt so strange that I got scared... But the more you let yourself get used to it, the more you will be able to see that you are capable of being loved, and loving. Good luck!
2007-07-20 13:22:45 · answer #5 · answered by Sarah T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Self fullfilled prophecy. We can all change our thinking, behaviour if we want to change enough. This change to be successfull requires it to give you rewards. What they are is your choice.
Is this question to do with bad TV on Monday night?
Trust yourself first, then trust in others is easy.
Think about those who fought in war time who had to trust those who were not of the same nationality.
Trust oneself and you trust the world.
2007-07-20 04:29:02 · answer #6 · answered by sag_kat2chat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have worked for many dating websites and those "personality tests" don't really mean a thing. They are just for fun, dont take them seriously.
2007-07-20 04:07:29 · answer #7 · answered by deluded_majority 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start trusting yourself. Then you will start trusting others. Avoid having negative thoughts.
2007-07-20 04:05:19 · answer #8 · answered by farizah_t 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋