What's a tactful way to ask if she/he is cheating?

Question

Without p*ssing them off? (She's been acting differently... distant. Also, used to be self-conscious about her breasts, suddenly got no hangups with revealing tops. Most suspicious was when she called one day saying she was at work but it wasn't her work number... There's other little things that could just be my imagination, but I've got this really nagging suspicion that won't go away ) So what's the best way to ask her, because she's not the type that likes being accused, guilty or not (who is)?

Answer 1

Why be tactful? Ask. If she wants to know why you are asking, list the reasons.

Before you ask, I recommend you do a little research. Check her cell phone bill for strange numbers.

Answer 2

okay ask her to come spend some quality time with you. Then play a game so you both can be a in a good mood and tell her how much you care about her. After that tell her that you have something bothering you and you just cant help but to think of it. And keep looking inot her eyes. Keep resisting until she really wants you to tell her. Then say it like this, look (hername) i had a really bad dream last couple of nights that you cheated on me. And from that night on thats all i keep thinkin about and it really scares me because i dont wanna loose you. And this way your not accusin her of anything, your bascially accusing yourself frmo having the bad dream. And see what her response is. But make sure when you both have this talk that you both are in a calm mood. Dont wanna cuase any arguments. But the bad dream thing works. Let me know if it works for you. GOOD LUCK!!

Answer 3

If she is cheating, the why do you care if you tick her off? What about YOU being really angry!? Just tell her how you feel. Tell her she is acting different. Tell her how she is acting different. Ask her where she was when she called you from the strange number. Don't actually mention cheating. See how she reacts. Truth is that if she IS cheating, you WANT her to get really angry and defensive. Often that is a sign of GUILT. If you don't have the guts to do this, you could hire someone to find out for you, but that is kind of extreme. But I say just tell her and deal with it. Even if she is NOT cheating, you are still unhappy. You two need to communicate. Get couples' counseling if you need help.

Answer 4

I'm going through the same thing in my marriage. I find the only way to approach this is straight up and honest. If you have no proof, just tell her these things are bothering you. If she loves you, respects you and wants to make your marriage work, she'll calmly discuss them with you. What I did just the other day, was asked my husband if we could sit down and talk after dinner. I told him I needed his undivided attention and for him not to get angry and to hear me out. I had already formed the questions in my mind - there were four of them - and I asked him one by one. I was grateful and somewhat surprised that he calmly answered, didn't get angry and had reasonable anwers to my questions. Since our mutual issues are infidelity, you may want to ask your wife the two main questions I asked my husband which amoung the four total were 1. What is your definition of cheating and 2. By your own definition, have you ever cheated on me. There is simply no way around those to questions, and that forces her to either tell the truth, or lie, flat out. There's no wiggle room. If she lies, eventually you will find out. If she gets agitated and flies off the handle, most likely she's lying - but that is still not proof. The thing is - and I told my husband this - if you have to continually question your marriage, her motives and her fidelity, there can be no peace. No trust in a marriage is a deal-breaker. If I have to continually "watch my back" I'd rather not be married - to him. You have to decide for yourself what you will and won't accept. Good luck to you, I really hope she's not cheating.

Answer 5

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Answer 6

Tell her that you ahve noticed some small changes in her and ask if there is anything that she wants to talk to you about? That way you aren't really coming out and saying "are you cheating on me?" But the point is getting across.

Or just plain and simple ask her. I mean, you can't keep all of this suspicion inside without it eventually exploding into a very unpretty picture.

Y'all are married and if she is cheating on you she needs to give you the respect that you deserve and tell you anyway and not be such a liar. And if she is, she is obviously not as concerned about your feelings as you are of hers.

Good Luck, and I hope for your sake she isn't cheating.

Answer 7

The call from work may have been on a coworker's cell phone. She may be just trying to get over the self-consciousness about herself by suggestions others have advised her on or she read about. That nagging suspicion can be remedied by saying to her you noticed she's been acting and dressing different lately, are there any logical reasons for doing so.

Answer 8

There no tactful way to ask if someone is cheating.

However, you could mention that you have noticed she is wearing more revealing tops lately. You could also say something like:

"Hey the other day when you called from work, I didn't recognize the number. Did you guys get a new line put in? If so, I'm going to save it in my cell phone, in case I can't reach you at the other number."

I wish you the best!

Answer 9

You are not gonna know unless you ask boy..that said do you just have trust issues? Do you sense unhappiness on her part? how do you guys communicate? How long have you guys been together? Tell her how you feel, you might be wrong, she might be stressed out or it's just nothing. do it without sounding accusational. It has happened to me before i was dating someone who had been cheated on by a prior girlfriend, so it made him have some serious trust issues, i never gave him reason to doubt me, however he never really communicated that to me until later in life when i was no longer his girlfriend.I had no idea i was shocked! It utimately became the undoing of our relationship (i was really in love with him i had no way of really knowing he felt that way at the time so TELL HER) Maturity is essential in these situations i could only advice you based on my experience your case might not be the same but remember it ain't gonna get better without communication. i really hope for the best for you remember Communication is key.

Answer 10

Don't ask, hon. If you have suspicions, get proof... take a day off, rent a car she wouldn't recognize, and follow her after work, or hire someone to do it. Then decide when you find out that she is indeed cheating what you want to do.... I love the line "Is this relationship crowded?". They will always lie. Then you show them a photo, or some e-mail or a letter "Then what's this?".... plan your exit. If you have suspicions, they are (unfortunately) true.

Answer 11

If she calls you from that number again, you could tell her that you're coming over to pick her up for lunch...listen for how she responds.

You could also start mentioning how you've noticed some big changes in her appearance, etc and make a joke about her new man, or ask (still jokingly) who she's making all this effort for....

If you've got a gut feeling that something is up, then most likely something is.