Why am I obsessed with him?

Question

I can not get him out of my head or heart. I am getting my independance back being away from him but I also want him so much at the samet time.
We broke up as we were arguing all the time and we were both unhappy with it. so we agreed that we would split up.
I want him back.

So I think that I am going out of my mind. I have just been in touch with him and it seems as though there is not way back for us. I am going to try and leave him alone. God this is really killing me. And I have been through a split before but not sure that I can handle this one. I have never loved someone like this.

Answer 1

We have a tendancy to miss the good things about a person when they are no longer in our lives. This is why people end up getting stuck in bad relationships. They break up, remember the good things, and then try to get back together. If you do get back together with him the relationship will be the same. it will be bad, and you will both be unhappy. Move on.

What qualities did you like in this guy? What things about him made you miserable? When you go to the next person you'll have a better sense of what you like and what you don't. Treasure your relationship for what it was and for what you learned. But don't get stuck in a cycle. The next relationship will better.

Answer 2

You don't really want him back. The problem is that you are lonely and probably depressed about breaking up. It is THAT which is making you feel obsessed, and not your desire to get the guy who argued with you all the time back in your life. You broke up for a reason, and that reason was probably a good one. Recognize that the problem is your loneliness, and not any true desire, and you'll be on your way to happiness. Just give it some time, and you'll be fine. In the meantime, get out and have some fun with your friends. Get some exercise. Keep busy. Have some fun! Then when you are ready, you can find a better guy with whom you are more compatible. Good luck!

Answer 3

If it hasn't been that long ago, then the wounds are still fresh. Trust me when I say that it does fade. It may take a little time, but it will. You have to sit down and ask yourself 'Do I want to be in a relationship where we argue and I am unhappy?' And you need to answer yourself honestly. If you both can't work out your differences, then you need to let it go and move on. Let your heart heal and then find someone else that you can get along with.

Answer 4

This is just temporary. It will go away after a while. I just broke up with my boyfriend yesterday because of the same reasons why you broke up with yours. Just keep thinking to yourself, Do you really want to be in a unhappy relationship for the rest of your life? You deserve to be happy, independence is very important, I would rather want independence than an unhappy relationship anyday. This is coming from a person who had dealt with 2 failed marriages, one abusive, and about 30 other relationships. Trust me, don't go back to the guy. Get counseling.

Answer 5

Though you love him with all your heart, something is telling you that your relationship with him was not right. (You mentioned that you both were unhappy).

However you did mention that you were getting your independence back. This tells me that you were dependent on him for things, or maybe he was holding you back?

Keep moving forward with your life and your independence. You need your independence, and once you're there, you'll be so happy and content!

It's going to take time to get over him, but trust me, time will heal your wounds.

I was in a long term relationship for many years where I was completely dependent on my boyfriend. (For just about everything...including money!) Eventually I realized how unhealthy it was, so I got a job, moved out, got my own place and managed to do everything for ME.

Once I established my independence, the man I was with came back into my life and we are now married! We live together, but I am still independent. I do not depend on him for every little thing and he doesn't depend on me for everything. But we're here for each other through thick and thin.

Concentrate on yourself for a while - things will work out the way they're supposed to! :)

Best of luck to you!

Answer 6

When someone dies, you start to forget the bad things and when you hear stories about them later, they sound like saints. It's the same thing when break-ups happen. They aren't there to continue doing the things that drive you crazy so you begin to focus on the good things.

A good way to get over this is to write down allllll of the things about him that made you break-up to begin with and take those things out and read over them when you start feeling weepy. Don't let a selective memory cause you to make a mistake.

Good luck to you!

Answer 7

If you want him back, then go after him! Talk things through with him and work on where the problem areas are.

Life is like a roller-coaster, you're always going to have your ups and downs....arguing in itself is not a bad thing, however; too much of anything is never good.

Answer 8

When you really love someone you love the good and the bad. If that love is not returned, you need to grieve and then move on. Spend a lot of time with friends. Only time can ease the pain, but friends can help the time pass more quickly. Good luck to you.

Answer 9

You can either try avoiding him, hoping that the love would go away, Or try talking to him again hoping that ur past relationship wouldn't step in the way of u two being friends, Then u can risk taking ur friendship to the next level

Answer 10

we can get ourselves into a fix-like drugs a person knows its killing them but their feelings overwelm their mind and they go back for another fix, the only way is help and refocus.
feeling good about yourself helps you feel good about life and the future.
Truth is many are willing to give up their future for the fun of the "There is pleasure in sin for a season, but then cometh the judgement." When we believe a lie so we can throw away the truth we get problems
"In marriage the bed is undefiled, but the others will be judged." Hebrews 13 also in that chapter once you let Jesus into your heart to save you from sin and be your friend "I will never leave thee nor forsake thee."

You got to decide if your worth a true love first from above,

peace in Jesus care and prayer John 3 asked forgiveness of sins and Jesus to come into my heart to be my best friend, amen as promised in Revelation 3:19&20 as He says "I love you and knock on your heart door to come in and deliver, and be your friend when you ask me to.

best wishes and prayin for you, David