okay, so my 12 year old wants to live with her dad. he has been in and out of her life. he recently got out of jail for drugs. she craves the bond that she does have with him when he is with her, but her life will definitely be different if she lives there...and not in a good way. i know it's not the best thing for her, but we have two other children to think about, too. she is a bad influence on them, especially my ten year old daughter. and she brings the whole family down with her attitude. i feel it would be best for the rest of the family to just let her go. her dad has a girlfriend who i like, and they seem to be doing well for now. they are much more lenient with her than i am. i just don't want to have the guilt later if her life ends up being ruined. but, i don't want the rest of my family to suffer due to her rejecting us and our rules so strongly. what should i do?
2007-07-20 02:34:37 · 9 answers · asked by Stephanie 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I think that you should get her a psychologist and after a while send her to her dad as long as she can still see the psychologist and then just see how it all works out.
2007-07-20 02:40:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, I would seek out some good family couseling. A lot of insurance plans cover this type of thing. She is no doubt working through some issues that involve the "rejection" and/or "alienation" from her dad. I'm sure she is very defiant but this is the time she needs you the most as the more stable environment.
You cant give up on her like her father did or you will end up perpetuating the problem and it will ruin her life.
There is no way on God's green earth she should live with her father. Who know's what kind of people he's involved with that she will be exposed to and she's at such an impressionable time in her life!!!
Get her to counseling independently as well as some family therapy. It will help her work through her issues and will help you all understand where she's at and how to manage it.
2007-07-20 02:44:32 · answer #2 · answered by rebecca d 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look it's a stage that most teens go through I guessing she might be the oldest...maybe she feels rejected by you because of the other kids. I say get some family counseling even her father and his girlfriend. Just don't let her go especially since he just got out of jail for drugs, it's not 100% certain that he won't turn back to drugs, do you want your daughter introduced to that? Maybe spend a day out with her just the two of you, like a girls day out and pamper her a little bit she probably just has a lot going on in her head right now. Find away to see what up with her. Now is the time that you should be showing her more love instead of pushing her away.
2007-07-20 04:07:41 · answer #3 · answered by CPSweetie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, i might seek for out some good family contributors couseling. countless insurance plans conceal this kind of component. She isn't any doubt working by some themes that contain the "rejection" and/or "alienation" from her dad. i'm particular she is amazingly defiant yet it is the time she desires you the main because of the fact the greater good atmosphere. You cant supply up on her like her father did or you will finally end up perpetuating the subject and it will smash her life. there isn't any way on God's green earth she would desire to stay together with her father. Who know's what style of individuals he's in touch with that she would have the capacity to be uncovered to and she or he's at such an impressionable time in her life!!! Get her to counseling independently to boot as some family contributors therapy. it relatively is going to help her artwork by her themes and could help you all comprehend the place she's at and the thank you to administration it.
2016-12-14 14:24:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have to say yes, let her go. There needs to be peace in a household and if you feel that she isnt helping maintain that then l her live with her father. Her father most likely thinks that she's an angel because he hasnt been around much. So let her move in with him so he can see how it feels to be you. If the dads girlfriend and you get along then things would be better tht way.
2007-07-20 05:54:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i like tigerlily's answer you should let her make mistakes becasue she has to learn the hard way most of the times. i think that is the only way that teenagers(and almost teenagers) can learn. i'm 15 i know how hard it is. the tighter you hold on to her the more she is goingto pull away. i do the same thingwith my parents if they tell me that i shouldn't do something like buy a pair of jeans then i do it just to make them mad. it's just a thing that teenagers like to do piss off their parents. give her the chance to live with him if she wants to come back home then let her. but maybe she needs to talk to an ASACs counsler or something, because i do and it actually helps me out alot. i can tell her anything without my parents finding out. ASACs helps kids stay away from drugs and alochol. ASACs means something like that i just can't remember exactly what it means.
2007-07-20 02:44:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need some counseling....she's not a piece of furniture that doesn't go with the drapes...she's your daughter,,how can you think of just letting her go live with that man, without trying to fix your own problems with your daughter...shame on you!!
2007-07-20 02:51:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO. She needs to have counseling and you need to be tough on her so she does not end up on drugs like he did. Of course she wants to live with him if they are lenient! It will be much worse on her to live with him. Kids need rules, structure and discipline, not parents that are their buddies.
2007-07-20 02:39:57 · answer #8 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Let her go but make sure you tell her that if there ever is a problem that she can come back. Maybe that will help with the guilt. Sacrifice one for many. Painful but maybe neccessary.
2007-07-20 02:38:38 · answer #9 · answered by Ladybug 2 · 3⤊ 2⤋