I have brought my feeling up to my husband several times and he tells me Im overreacting that they r just friends and he LOVES ME. He goes outside and does LOUD things to get her attention, then they spend hrs talking. Sometimes I join in others I dont. Last week I found out that they exchanged Nextel #s and he called her, then Friday night he had his best friend over and she came out, the 4 of us sat around talking and after awhile I went to bed. After 10 mins I heard him tell his friend to go to the garage for a few and he would call him in awhile. So i got up 2 see what was going on, the 2 of them where sitting face 2 face talking low, I overheard some of what was said. He was telling her about all the "BAD" things I have done 2 him throughout our relationship, most of it was highly exagerated. (We have been 2gether 17 yrs, since teenagers) The next day I told him I was hurt/angry and he admitted he was wrong. Now yesterday I found out that they talked on Nextel again. Theres more
2007-07-20 02:33:32 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Oh boy. You have a major problem here. I think he is preparing to cheat on your marriage and with the neighbor lady. When a man tries to find things wrong with his marriage, he is trying to justify straying, if that is his intention.
I suggest getting to marriage counseling and quick. If he doesn;t go then go yourself. YOu are being made to be the bad guy here. A women can smell an available man a mile off and your hubby is becoming an available man.
It may be a mid-life crisis but I have a very bad feeling about this.
2007-07-20 02:40:08 · answer #1 · answered by mikeae 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
You are definitely NOT overreacting! What your husband did was completey wrong and out of line. It's quite obvious that he's interested in her and it's very possible that she is interested in him as well.
You and your husband need to get into counseling as soon as possible to prevent anything from happening. If you husband really does have issues with "things from the past", then he needs to bring them up while you two see the counselor.
This woman is going to lend him an ear, then a shoulder, and then something else if you don't put your foot down and nip this in the bud before it goes any further.
Since you two are neighbors, it might be best to have a friendly little chat with this single lady. Simply let her know that you saw and overheard what your husband was telling her that night, and that you were upset about it.
Maybe making her aware that you know what was said, may prevent any future mishaps with her.
I truly hope that everything works out for the best!
2007-07-20 02:43:14 · answer #2 · answered by K.C. 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, this is something you can't just let go by.....Your husband first of all, has disrespected you in many ways than one..She may not have any obligations to you but, he sure does..If your husband is going to let her know that this type of behavior is okay then why would you expect any different from her...Athough, she should also have respect for herself it seems like even if you confront her, it's your husband you need to deal with...If you just laugh it off and let things go, the damage is still done...What value do you hold or does your marriage have if he's putting you out there to another woman?? This is something I sugguest you think about because I'm sorry to say it does not sound like he's just going to stop his communicating with this girl... You need to stand up for YOURSELF and let it be known that he cannot and will not make a fool out of you*** Be well, as I know this is hard and you must be really upset and hurt but, do you know what?? You should never show anyone especially your husband that they can break you....our weaknesses comes from what we allow people to do to us....Your worth more than THAT*
2007-07-20 02:57:54 · answer #3 · answered by Yvette D 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
DANGER! RED ALERT! THE SHIP IS GOING DOWN, CAPTAIN! You are in a very precarious situation. Your husband is shopping and your neighbor is sitting on the shelf right at his eye level. You need to go next door, pour yourself a cup of coffee and tell her in no uncertain terms that this man is yours, not hers and you don't appreciate the intimate nature of her budding relationship with your husband. I'm sure she wouldn't appreciate you getting that close if she were to have her own man. Then you need to tell your husband, for the sake of your marriage, that he needs to stop his shenanigans with your neighbor that includes no more phone calls and making himself appear "available" when he is so obviously not. He just plain needs to be smacked for making himself appear all henpecked and poor little 'ol me having such a horrible wife I don't know what to do. Make it a point to BE there in the future whenever they are having a discussion or whatever, it will cement the idea to her that you
have a close eye on them and you won't tolerate her being alone with YOUR man any longer.
2007-07-20 02:52:37 · answer #4 · answered by foodieNY 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would let them BOTH know your not going to stand for it. Go outside yell and scream until you have her attention and the rest of the neighbors. Scream "why are you trying to wreck my family?" Let everyone know what she is. I would drop his phone in a glass of water! Tell him if that is what he wants get gone. You shouldn't have to sit and be made an as* after 17 years or 17 months! If he chooses her let him. I know it will feel like death after 17 yrs but I believe in karma!
2007-07-20 02:50:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure if you're writing more however, I don't think you're over-reacting at all. It definitely sounds like something is brewing between your husband and the neighbour.
It's just not right either, that he spoke ill of you to her. What goes on between a husband and wife, should stay between just the two of them. It's not like she's a trusted friend or anything...you need to do something to nip this in the bud before it's too late.
2007-07-20 02:41:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but it sounds like they are having an affair. My ex did this same thing with a co-worker. I trusted him and took his word that they were just friends. Big mistake. You have to decide if you are willing to share. If not, you need to look at your options. Without trust, a marriage license is not worth the paper it is written on.
2007-07-20 02:45:10 · answer #7 · answered by arkiemom 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Trust me when I say you need to tell her to stay away from him and you know what they are up to. There's no expectable time for you husband to be calling your neighbor or any other strange women on his cell phone. Believe me I have been there and done this. It's best you tell him to stay away from her because they are for sure up to something. An it's best to try and put a stop to it before something happends.
2007-07-20 02:44:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the beginning of the end. the trust is starting to fade away. You better put him on lock down and keep her away from your house.
2007-07-20 05:26:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
WHAT IWOULD DO, IS BREAK THAT BIATCH. SHE IS OBVIOUSLY TRYING TO FLIRT WITH YOUR HUBBY, AND YOUR HUBBY IS FLIRTING BACK, ASK HIM TO STOP CHATTING WITH HER, AND IF HE DOES NOT GO OUT AND FINDYOUR SELF A SINGLE HOTTIE, AND BECOME GOOD FRIENDS. MAYBE HE WILL UNDERSTAND WHERE U R COMING FROM. ALSO, DO NOT EVER LEAVE UR HUBBY ALONE WITH A SINGLE WOMAN. THEY ARE BOTH IN THE WRONG. HE SHOULD NOT BE TELLING Y'ALL PERSONAL BIZ!
2007-07-20 02:39:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋