I met this guy 5 yrs ago, we dated but I was working toward graduating college, taking care of a 4 year old and working. I felt that it was better that we didn't date seriously because I couldn't fully give him my attention. We were friends instead, still spending time together. He eventually found a girlfriend, I had no problem with this. We remained friends. Fast foward 3 yrs and he broke up with the girl and we began seeing each other. I had a surgery last August the Dr. said that I should have a baby if I had planned on having any kids. I talked it over with him and he readily agreed. I am now pregnant. He moved out of his house and into his supposed ex-girlfriends house leaving me pregnant and alone. The baby is due next week his girlfriend states that he won't be allowed to have anything to do with the baby. The girlfriend has called 2 harass me several times. I don't want drama, a child's birth should be peaceful. Should he be allowed in the delivery room?
2007-07-20 02:25:47 · 22 answers · asked by Dorothy L 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
No, don't let him near you or or the child. He is a jerk who doesn't even have the basic male instinct to protect and cherish the woman he impregnated.
This guy is NOT husband or father material. He is unfaithful and unstable. Starting burning all bridges now for your sake and the sake of the baby.
And perhaps you should forget about guys and dating for a while and just focus all your love and attention on your children. They need YOU now....not all this drama and scandal.
2007-07-20 02:30:56 · answer #1 · answered by Veritas 7 · 2⤊ 4⤋
Honestly, I think him being allowed in the delivery room is the least of your problems. His girlfriend is the main problem. If she is saying that he wont be 'allowed' to have anything to do with the baby (First off she would have gotten smacked, who the he!! does she think she is? She has no right to tell him that he can't see his baby) what makes you think she will allow him to be in the delivery room? I am sorry you have to go through this, you right the birth of a child should be a happy and peaceful moment. Unfortunately, I don't think you will have either. I think you need to sit down and talk to him about what will happen once this child arrives and what exactly does he plan on doing with his girl friend. He is a man and he should start acting like it and take responsibility for his actions and tell his girl that she has no right to tell him what to do, especially when it comes to his child. Good luck to you and your baby.
P.S. Worst comes to worst and you will have to raise your baby by yourself, which is not the end of the world, then that's what you have to do. My mother was a single mom and she did a great job for a women just getting into the country and not speaking a drop of English. (My father brought her to the states and then he passed away a few years later, when I was 3)
2007-07-20 09:38:21 · answer #2 · answered by SexyMommy2B 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
that is a hard question to answer. first of all is he really a man? not for going back to his ex, but allowing her to say that he isn't allowed to have anything to do with the baby. He needs a backbone. i would say yes if he is going to be in your life. but, she needs to stay home so you can be drama free. on the other hand she seems like she lives for the drama so i would say no because she will probably try to come to the hospital and then that may create drama. do you still talk to him? was the relationship between ya'll serious or was he just basically giving you a baby because it was now or never? this is a tough call. good luck to you. let us know what happens!!
2007-07-20 09:33:09 · answer #3 · answered by Camryn's mom 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is completely your decision and one you should think long and hard about. Being a mother you know how difficult giving birth is. You're going to only want people in the room with you who are loving and supportive.
If he does not plan to support you and the baby then don't let him in the room. File for child support, and tell him that if he doesn't get his girlfriend to stop harassing you that you will file for an order of protection against him.
Best of luck...you have some tough decisions ahead of you.
2007-07-20 09:32:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
You well said that you guys are just friends but now you're upset because he moved in with another woman "leaving you pregnant and alone". You can't have it both ways. You wanted a baby because of medical issues but you guys didn't make any promises to each other, did you? You have no right to demand his playing daddy to a baby that you wanted. As far as I can see, he was nothing more than a sperm donor to you. If you wanted an actual relationship with him, then you should've made that clear in the beginning before you got pregnant.
2007-07-20 09:35:07 · answer #5 · answered by lanagrl78 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Wow, interesting answers. All from women. Men must be afraid to answer this one. I'm not, so, may I offer an opinion from a father's point of view.
First, whether you or his supposed girlfriend/ex-girlfriend like it or not, he is the father of this child. It is not up to her to decide if he should be there or not. It is up to him and you. Talk to him about how involved he wants to be with this child and his birth. He may be a schmuck, but neither you or his ex have the right to take his child away from him or his right to be there when his son is born. Sounds to me like this guy has no backbone. I wouldn't be in this position if I were him, but if I were, I wouldn't let her tell me I couldn't be there. She would be kicked to the curb before I allowed her to tell me I couldn't be there for the birth of my son.
You are right about the fact that a child's birth should be peaceful, and you need to take that into consideration. But you are bound to have more problems with him later in your son's life if you are the one preventing him from being there if he wants to. Let his ex cut her own foot off, these kinds of actions will do nothing to help their relationship and trust me it won't last.
I think you should file a restraining order on the ex-girlfriend and he needs to grow a backbone so-to-speak. If he won't, your conscience is clear. At least it wasn't you preventing him from being there when his son was born and being involved in his son's life.
If he does not want to be a part of his son's life, than let him make that decision. If he decides not to, he will be the one that has to face his son later in life and answer why. Again, your conscience would be clear. Your son would not have to look at you and argue that you prevented his father from being in his life.
This has farther reaching ramafications than just the birth. You need to be the good guy in this.
Good luck and congratulations.
2007-07-20 10:04:46 · answer #6 · answered by holdemfoldem911 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is your body. This is your baby. This is your choice.
If you want him there with you, talk to him soon. He might not be comfortable with it, even if you do want him there.
Sounds as though the 'ex' is going to cause you trouble, you should have a talk with her before baby is born, and let her know you want this childs life to be peaceful and without hatred, and she is not to call you. The child has a father, and it just so happens that it is your 'boyfriend', so grow up.
You might need to get child support worked out soon (sooner the better).
This 'ex' has nothing to do with your body, or your (and your ex's) baby. She needs to get her nose in her own business and she might need your 'ex' to talk to her.
Do what you feel is right. Listen to your heart and your body.
Hope it all works out.
2007-07-20 09:34:47 · answer #7 · answered by vegface 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, hmm.
Yes I think you should let him be a part of the delivery. You need to talk to him directly and without the other woman involved and see what part he wants to play in this childs life. If he wants to be involved by all means work it out so that he can without the other womans influence.
If he doesn't want a part in the babys life then you need to accept it and prepare for you and your kids.
Best of luck to you.
Make sure either way you are getting financial support from him!
2007-07-20 09:35:57 · answer #8 · answered by Ree 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Why don't you take the adult approach and get a RESTRAINING ORDER filed against her? That way she HAS TO quit harassing you and she CANNOT be allowed within 50 feet of you or she will get ARRESTED. If you do that then you can bypass all the drama before it even starts.
2007-07-20 09:56:53 · answer #9 · answered by Miley 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Im sure the girl is angry coz she wishes she was the one giving him his first child.
Its always nice having the father there to know how much pain you will feel when giving birth.having him see what he has brought to this world.maybe that may bring some sence to him and he may even move in with you.Its good for the kid too, he'll/she'll be happy to know that both his parents were outside waiting for him to come join them in their world.
About the girl: dont bother yourself too much about her.just be happy coz you'll be waking up now and then and smile because you will be having someone next to you that will mean the world to you.
Congratulations by the way.
2007-07-20 10:29:30 · answer #10 · answered by Mkay3 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
when he agreed to get you preg, was it just a "favor to a friend" kind of thing or was it a real relationship? either way, he needs a backbone and he needs to stop letting his gf make his life-altering decisions.
is he interested in being a father to this child or was he just a sperm donor? the answer to that will answer your question.
2007-07-20 09:41:56 · answer #11 · answered by Green Is Sexxxy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋