I have been with my current boyfriend for six months and he is always comparing me to his ex who is stunning. He does this in a round about way telling me how she always wore lovely clothes and had a great figure. He then goes on to say that it is inside what counts. Another time he says how much attention she got when they went out together and how much he missed the sex with her when she left him.
I just dont think I can take much more of this. He is still in contact with her and she has just broken up with her boyfriend and so I feel worse than ever. He hardly compliments me and now he says how he has been telling her how great I am. It doesnt make me feel any better. I feel he is playing games with me. He also mentioned that she doesnt have strech marks even though she also has a child. I feel as if I am feeling worse and worse about myself even thought I have lost 2 stone in the last few months. How can I break free even though I still love him.
2007-07-20 02:12:22 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Get out get out get out get out get out. I can't tell you how refreshing it feels, after the inital shock and pain of a break up, to be free from self doubt.
Please do yourself a favour you are worth so much more than that. It is truly wrong. don't leave it any longer, he still has feeling for this girl....you know it in your heart! Get rid of him before he completely destroys your self confidence.
2007-07-20 02:16:58 · answer #1 · answered by jessieket04 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
There is a course called "How To Avoid Marrying a Jerk." It is also now a book. Take the class or read the book. Run do not walk.
You may not be describing all of the other wonderful things he does for you, but he sounds like a classic "jerk" you need to avoid any irreversable commitment to.
You are too valuable to let someone treat you so cheaply. Not having a boyfriend is better than having one who actively tears you down. I'm not saying break up, but move to the appropriate distance and have some honest dicsussion about how you will and will not stand to be treated.
But first, go read that book!
2007-07-20 09:20:32 · answer #2 · answered by Heidi C 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Get a copy of the 5 Love Languages book by Gary Chapman for singles and you will be amazed after reading the book how much you learn about loving others. This guy is a jerk and he is treating you as if he's on the rebound. Can you see why his last girlfriend dump him? Can you IMAGINE being married to him and have this go on the rest of your life? DUMP HIM now because he either does not love you or does not understand love at all. The greatest thing I can tell you about love is finding someone with whom you have a lot in common with, because if you do not you will be LONELY. Find someone who understands what LOVE really is and the true meaning of love. Jesus gave us two commandments and they both were above love but so many people fail to understand what love is all about. His life was a perfect example of what love is truly about. Good Luck
2007-07-20 09:20:12 · answer #3 · answered by nathan t 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The role of the other person in your life should be filled by a person that loves and respects you, puts your happiness among the top on his list of priorities. He does none of these. He has no business comparing you to his ex, especially when it's in such glowing terms, he should leave her in the past where she belongs. If he can't, it will only get worse for you. He sounds rather brainless (thoughtless) in his treatment of you and I hope you are not changing to fit into his mold of what he wants you to be, he should accept who you are and what you look like or go back to his ex and let you find someone that will treat you the way you should be treated. Good luck.
2007-07-20 09:23:30 · answer #4 · answered by foodieNY 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Depsite the fact that you love him, you should definitely leave him. He clearly still loves her...sorry but its so obvious. Forget him, he sounds like a mean, selfish, cruel man. He should make you feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. I know im not perfect and definitely not the best looking girl my boyfriends ever met but he makes me feel like i am. He always compliments me and would never dare compare me to his ex. Do you know why....because he loves me. You deserve what i and many other women have....leave him and i promise you'll meet someone someday who'll treat you properly....hope this helps, good luck
2007-07-20 10:24:50 · answer #5 · answered by eva m 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just leave.everytime he calls or trys to get you back,if he does.tell your self that you were never as good as his ex and never will be.he is still in love with her and doesnt want to let go.you need some who looks at you and loves you for you,not what you wear.you need someone who dosent need any contact with an ex .tell him since he had it all with her then he needs to knock on her door again,you dont want to be a stand in for her and you are acting and looking the way you want.hes trying to make her jealous so she wants to come back,she has been the one who has said she would let him know about their relationship or he would of been running back by now.as your out that door away from him for good,tell yourself how good it feels to be yourself agan.get out in the public walk tall and look at the guys and see that they do look at yu and your so much better then he ever made you feel.dont let any guy compare you with an ex,thats enough of a warning to keep on walking.they try to lower your self esteem so what they do for you looks good because they got you feeling less then you are.
2007-07-20 09:36:01 · answer #6 · answered by marilynfsmgm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to have more respect for yourself. HHe does not care about you because if he did, he would not treat you this way. He is just keeping you around until he has a chance with his ex. You need to realize that he is a jerk and move on. I know it will be hard because you still love him but you will find someone who appreciates you for the wonderful person you are, stretchmarks and all! Good Luck to you!
2007-07-20 09:58:53 · answer #7 · answered by frawlicious 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This relationship is a no go area,get shut of him before he drags you down to a level that you will never recover from.
He clearly dosn't love you,because if he did then he wouldn't mention her.If she was to click her fingers he would drop you like a hot brick,without a second thought.
What you have to tell yourself I love him but he is becoming a toxic poisen to me.His negativity is having a major impact on your life.You worth a lot more think of yourself not him.
2007-07-24 08:23:01 · answer #8 · answered by irene c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, if you have a man that cant see what is in front of his face because he is always looking at the past, he isn't worth you putting your effort and love into. he is still in love with her, you love him, he loves her, who is loving you? Just cut your losses now, I know you feel for him after only 6 months, but you deserve better than what you are getting. Trust me, it wouldn't matter if you were 10 years younger, thinner, tanned and beautiful, he would still be comparing you.
2007-07-20 09:22:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Give him an ultimatum. Either he shuts up about the ex, or you're gone. This is not acceptable behavior -- it is verbal abuse. If he wants the little **** back, then he should be there. If not, he needs to apologize to you for being such a thoughtless jerk and enjoy being in a relationship with you. If he refuses to do this, tell him to hit the road. You deserve far better than that. Also, he has no reason being in contact with the *****. Let him know that he is completely out of time. And good for you on the weight loss, but do it for youself, not for this obviously inept man.
2007-07-20 09:17:54 · answer #10 · answered by conductorbrat 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋