Why is sex outside the marriage automatically 'dirty', etc, etc - whereas sometimes Married Man&Woman do things to each other that are cruel and much more 'dirty' than an unmarried 'wrong' couple would ever do? Marriages can be and often are Very unhappy.. And yet for churchy people they would still be more 'right' than anything outside the standard option... What do you think? .. I am sad because I face stubbornness from my church friends and I have seen not one ruined life because people dared to follow their hearts and not what the Bible./ church told them to do.. I am stuck in-between the two.. I know the question is controversial - but please share.. Thanks
2007-07-20 01:57:29 · 14 answers · asked by mwade 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
It's because, although sex is a wonderful gift, there are often consequences to it---pregnancy, stds, etc. Marriage, prior to sex, is a protection. It's a protection for the potential children and for both partners (particularly the woman). Marriage is a contract between 2 people and biblically, God. It allows children to be raised by 2 parents who are trying to follow God's laws. It allows legal protection to all involved (including the children) and, IF all partners follow God's instructions, ensures that no one ever has to be infected with ANY STD.
Why does "following your heart" mean giving yourself sexually to those who are not willing to commit to you? I know we all WANT what we WANT right NOW and are never willing to wait for it...but most often, when you get something too easily, you don't appreciate it.
2007-07-20 02:03:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is true that marriages can be unhappy... but so can relationships outside of marriage. Happiness is not an issue here at all. It is irrelevant to the conversation. The issue is this: children and disease.
God loves children. They are pure and innocent and subject to the will of adults, making them vulnerable. God wants to protect them. Now, remember that the Bible was written long before birth control, not to mention that fact that birth control even today is not 100% fool-proof. The truth is that every time you have sex, birth-control or not, there is a chance you will get pregnant. When a child is born to an unwed mother, especially one who did not plan on having a child, it is unfair to the child. The child is at a disadvantage. And when a parent seeks sex outside of an established marriage and the parents end up getting a divorce or causes a big fight or the cheating parent brings a disease into the household, then that hurts the child, too. Sex outside of marriage is not neccesarily dirty, but it significantly increases the chances of a child being created in a bad situation, or a child getting hurt when it turns out one of the people involved has a family at home they didn't tell you about. In the end, although many unwed mothers raise their children fine, having a complete family is a big advantage to a child. If that family is not a happy one, it is true, then it sucks. I'd rather see a happy single mother with a child then an unhappy couple with a child... but if people do it right, and it is people's fault when it does not work and not God's, a complete family with a father and mother is always going to be the best thing for children.
On top of all that, when you have sex outside of an exclusive relationship, you risk getting a disease. God, especially in Biblical times where his people were struggling to survive, loves us and does not want us to die of diseases that can easily be prevented, especially contagious diseases that can get spread to others. Now, you can have an exclusive relationship without officially getting married, but you risk your partner cheating or dumping you with no legal ramifications whatsoever. If you are together long enough, however, you can claim a "common law" marriage. That may not be an official marriage, but it is practically the same thing. Who is to say that God would not accept that? I don't think God is looking for excuses to send everyone to hell. He is trying to protect us from cheating and disease. At least when you are married, officially or through common law, you have exclusivity that will protect you from unwanted diseases, and legal protection if one spouse fails to maintain the sanctity of marriage.
That is my Chrisitan point-of-view. I don't believe in a crazy, arbitrary God that makes stuff up just for the hell of it. There is a reason for it. If you can find a way to have sex and completely avoid any chance whatsoever of hurting someone, especially yourself or a child, then go for it! The truth is, however, that you are taking a risk. It's your life, though, so do what you will. Just be smart and unselfish in whatever you decide to do with your life, and I am sure God will be right there with you all the way. No one is perfect, even us self-righteous Christians. So I, for one, don't expect you to be. I doubt God does, either.
2007-07-20 02:14:47 · answer #2 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
well you can't generalize things ever! sure some married couples are NOT happily married they have their own problems but you cant say that "unmarried"couples who conceive a child are somewhat guaranteed as the married ones in safety and the sense of family and of course before getting married the couple need to solve whatever issues they may have. or they shouldn't get married at all ..I don't know if you get my point but I still think "sex " is not something you just do and give away so easily..it's just immoral.(at least to me)
well take care!
2007-07-20 02:14:35 · answer #3 · answered by little_kitty 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Christians have self assurance in the unfastened will that God gave them and to apply it in accordance to how their morals and spirit believes they'd desire to behave. in case you think of you have committed a sin then you definitely probably have, this is why Christians have forgiveness, using fact they don't look to be suited and God is accustomed to that...
2016-10-22 03:52:02 · answer #4 · answered by ramswaroop 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's because of the primitive Christian view that sex should be only for procreation, not pleasure. Before the last century, marriages were typically arranged by the parents, so the bride and groom were unlikely to feel sexual attraction for one another right off the bat, and less so as time passed. Marriage was therefore only "safe" environment for children to be produced in. It also explains why it was a virtue to wait for sex until marriage. The idea was that by remaining a virgin, you resisted the enticing, pleasurable element of sexuality, and were therefore "pure," and the ideal mate by virtue of seeing sex as an obligation by a wife to her husband.
Personally, I think it's all bull. Sexual urges are 100% natural, and it says nothing about our nature, other than the fact that we're animals, too. But then, I guess, anything that makes us more animal-like than we already are screws with 2000 years of Christian mythology.
2007-07-20 02:00:20 · answer #5 · answered by Riven Liether 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
like it or not, the purpose of sex is procreation.
Some below said... "It's because of the primitive Christian view that sex should be only for procreation, not pleasure. "
It's because of that thinking that we have rampant sexually transmitted diseases - teenage/unwanted pregnancies and prostitution. I'll take "primitive Christian views" over those side effects of wanton pleasure any day.
"Sexual urges are 100% natural" - there are alot of things that we as humans don't normally engage in that are "natural" - you're right in that we are animals generally, but we have the unique ability to transcend and descend that.
2007-07-20 02:00:06 · answer #6 · answered by wigginsray 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I don't recall a marriage ceremony in the bible for Adam and Eve, and apparently they fornicated like bunnies.
2007-07-20 02:01:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Religion has to control something, and they try and eliminate those things they consider sinful or uncontrollable. I think as long as you try and live a moral life, you will be much better off that following the rules of a religion.
2007-07-20 02:02:17 · answer #8 · answered by Steve C 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Interpretation of natural acts has never been a strong point of the Bible, too many judges!
2007-07-20 02:00:34 · answer #9 · answered by midnite rainbow 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Its not wrong. Its just the church's way of making rules. Do what you want to do. Its your life. God loves you.
2007-07-20 02:00:45 · answer #10 · answered by Linz ♥ VT 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋