A lot of women claim that beeing a stay at home mom is soo stressfull and constantly overworks the woman?

Question

What is the toughest part of it ? Is putting an extra portion for hubby in the boiling water a strain on your back ? Is it Ironing more of what you were used to when you were singel ? Or is it hugging and cuddling your baby that wrings your arms out ?

Only so you know Telulah I took care of my sisters 2 children and the home for exactly 2 weeks so she and hubby could have a break. It wasnt as fun as say, sitting on the couch watching oprah is to you, but it was waaay from hard, unless Ironing is as hard for a woman as shoveling coal is for a man. And I even managed to do my online work. (trading)
If stay at home moms are overworked, what were women who looked after 8 children and took care of a farm ?

Telulah and please forgive me I did not list every singel activity a housewife has to perform. YOu must admit though you didnt mention killer activities that would bring a housewife to the edge of exhaustion eithier.

Ok so far most women listed petty activities they have to perform no matter if married or singel. You have to fix meals whash clothes and deal with litigating siblings ? OH YOU POOR DEAR. I conclude that most modern women know real hardship only out of CNN and experience beeing an adult mom as stressfull because they have been a spoiled brat before.

Debra how come it is normal work everyone has to do unless he has staff and as soon as she marries it becomes a womans work and super hard ?

Carrie I never said housewife and beeing a caregiver is not Important. It is very important. But that does not mean it is Oohh so hard that you can try to bullshit your husband into making your life even easier than it already is.

littlejamie the way I understand it you do work so you aint a stay at home mom, if I got you right. A working mom demanding a helping hand would be a total differen situation, but at that point if both do decently staff can be hired so that neithier partner gets overworked with work and after work chores.

Little Jamie the way I understand it you ARE a stay at home mom.
I can feel for your not having an adult conversation.
But grocery shopping cooking (gasp even on weekends o.O) washing...
YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME.
Who used to do that all when you were singel ? Probably your mom so it must be a real shock not beeing able to sit around all day anymore.

And again Iam not saying the work is not important or not worth of appreciation. It just aint soo much a wife should sucker her hard working bills paying husband into doing "his share" after his "fun time" at work.

Answer 1

I am a working dad. I have had times where I was at home with the kids and taking care of the house by myself for a few days. It is freaking hard. Depends to some extent on the number of kids I guess. We have four. Let me tell you. I would MUCH rather be the one who works.


Watched your sisters kids? Are you kidding me? You have no idea what you are talking about. Try having your own kids and trying it. For more than just a week too. Then maybe you can express a legitimate opinion about it. Having children is one of those things that you just can't understand untill you have your own.

Answer 2

I can't believe I am reading this. I was a stay at home Mom and raised 3 children. Being a stay at home Mom, holds the best memories for me. Hell yes, there is a lot of stress and lonliness raising children but, the parent who does stay home to raise the children has something the other parent will never have--- all the firsts. The first time your child smiles, or rolls over, or takes his first steps, or says Dada. These things are what makes being a stay at home Mom so fulfilling. I never had a messy house. What else do you have to do when you are a stay at home Mom? Clean, cook and look after the kids. I had some girl friends who were also stay at home mom's. We would get together a couple of times a week to have some adult conversation. I think the trouble nowadays with stay at home Mom's is they are missing the whole point of staying home. You stay at home Mom's are the anchor of the family. You hold the family together by making sure everything in the household is in sync.. running smoothly. I now am a working mom. I would go back to the other way in a heartbeat. I know by the time I get home from work, the last thing I want to do is cook and clean. What is wrong with you people?! It's no wonder the 'family' has gone for a ****. Everyone wants the children but, no one wants to look after them. They are a gift. They are only brats and disobedient monsters when the Mom lets them get away with it. Every naughty thing they do is to get your attention. [Some attention, even if it's being yelled at, is better than none.]Children need to be noticed and they need answers. Get your face out of the book or the soaps and start to raise your children. Look after your house and spoil your husband. He too is a gift, if he wants you to stay home. Whether you realize it or not, working outside the home is way more stressful than being a stay at home Mom. Being a stay at home Mom is a luxury these days. Be proud that your mate makes enough money for you to be home. Other mothers would kill for what you have. Don't be such a spoiled brat. Your husband has enough on his mind without thinking what he's going to make for dinner. It takes a special kind of woman to be a stay at home Mom. Don't sell yourself short. What you teach your children now, makes all the difference in his decisions as an adult. Handing your precious commodities onto a daycare or babysitter 5-6 days a week, would scare the crap out of me. What do think they are teaching your children? What are they learning?

Answer 3

I am not a feminist, but I can't not answer this question, as I am being reminded of my mother who raised her 7 children and 2 of her grandchildren, and God bless her.

I am not a mother yet, but when I started living by myself, I started appreciating what my mother did for us during years without asking anything in return. When I get home from work after a stressing day and my laundry is dirty, there is no food in the fridge, my bed is not made and my clothes are not ironed, I realise how much energy is put into that. The first few days of doing that, I felt good because I was caring for myself, but after a couple of years, I wish I had more time to myself to do absolutely nothing, and I don't have kids!!!

Being a stay at home mom means being a baby sitter, an entertainer, a doctor/nurse, cleaning lady, cook, chofer, teacher, etc, and that's only for the kids, then comes the wifely duties...

I'm not saying it doesn't have it's blessings, I am hoping one day I can be a stay at home mom, but come on, you can't say it's easy when you sleep with an eye open and can't take longer than 2 minutes in the shower because kids are running around loose.

You can appreciate all the work of good stay at home mom's by looking at their children and then looking at the children of a couple that's never home. Values are taught at home.

Answer 4

Well, compared to the average white-collar desk job, it is FAR more physically demanding. That's the point - if my husband was doing 12 hour shifts at the factory, I wouldn't really expect much help at all at the end of the day. But when you have small children, the work of the household lasts 14 hours a day, seven days a week. (Plus the night shifts - every two hours with an newborn.) I suppose I could put less into it, but since he and I both care about the kids, we put forth some extra effort.

So, are you a farmer? Or do you work in a factory? Or do you have a typical modern job that is LESS exhausting than being a SAHM? I've worked six days a week before, so I think I can reasonably decide which is harder. Usually, it's being a SAHM.

Answer 5

Boy, you're a real smart a__ aren't ya!
Did your mother stay home with you and take care of you? Seems she could have spent some more of her time teaching you how to spell!
Have you ever heard the saying, "A woman's work is never done"? That's because it never is. NEVER.
I just thank God that you're not a mom, but then again, I wish you were, then you would know what real work is all about! Yes. sometimes it gets hard, and then it gets really hard and it also gets really frustrating, especially when there is someone (probably just like you) who doesn't appreciate what has been done for them. So, unless you're willing to become a mom and walk at least a mile in her shoes, shut up!!

you're not worth the effort it takes to turn my computer on!
go out and get a life and apply yourself to it, then you'll know what work is and why it's worth it. Then again, maybe you should stay in your cave, no good descent woman in her right mind would give you a second glance anyway!

Answer 6

Being a SAHM is NOT the easiest job... For starters it is 24/7 you just don't punch out and leave your worries behind... Children take energy and caring.. Which can be exhausting especially when they are little and NEED you for everything.. It's not only about cooking/cleaning and household duties it's all the things that go into being a parent.. Surely, there's a sacrifice- since there isn't a second full-time income, but it's worth it... Spending the quality time with the children, the reading, the playtime and seeing them grow.. I wouldn't trade that in, for anything. I feel truly sorry for children that have to spend 40 hrs.(+) a week in a daycare.. The PARENTS lose out on so much...Sure the children learn how to say ABC's and 1,2,3 etc..from someone else raising their children.. I guess I like to be the one teaching those things.. I can look at myself and know that my children are who they are because of me and not of the daycare I choose..! I choose to work nights so I can spend my time with my children.. I have a routine, much like I would if were working a paying job. Only it's for my children and my family.. I take pride in that and in my family.. I guess that someone that doesn't do it and finds it easier to underestimate the power, commitment and passion of a SAH parent. It must be GRAND leaving the HARD part to someone else? Why not just get a housekeeper too? I've worked full-time, I've worked 2 jobs and this job is the hardest one I've ever LOVED. So, remember that when "you" take your child to daycare and the caregivers know more about your child then you do... Good luck with that...

Answer 7

Are you serious? For one you don't know the least bit about what it take to stay at home. From the outside looking in it seems as though it is a piece of cake but you truly don't know what it takes it all. before being married I was a fulltime administrative assistant and mother. I finished college and earned a degree a few years later I met a wonderful man and got married. Since then we had a baby and now I stay at home with both kids. I cook, clean, bath the kids, go grocery shopping, mail packages, run errands and do everything else that my husband's busy 12 hour shift won't allow for. Besides running behind my children 24/7 I really feel like I lost a part of me in the process. I once had my own career, my own money, my own space and now I feel like all I have is my girls. It is a lot more to being a staying at home mom then cuddling with your little one's and cooking dinner. I can't even go to the bathroom without one of my girls following me. Before you make chauvenistic remarks you shoud take the time to think about who you might offend first.

Answer 8

It depends on the circumstance. Taking care of a home can be full time especially if there are a few young children. Throw in laundry, cleaning, paying bills, food shopping and cooking, meeting the needs of the kids etc and the day is over. Taking care of a few kids for 2 weeks just does not compare to doing it 365 days a year.

Answer 9

I've been a working mom and a stay at home mom. Staying at home is physically and mentally draining. There is no babysitter, because you are the babysitter. When you're sick, too bad, you still have to take care of everyone else. There are meals to prepare, laundry and dishes to wash, beds to make, bills to be paid. Then because you are at home, people think you have nothing to do, so they constantly ring your phone to ask for help in some way. I took care of all the doctor/dentist/ortho/school/ trips. Then, there are the days when the kids are constantly whining and crying or disagreeing and there is no getting away from it. There is no adult conversations unless you go to a drive-thru, bank, grocery store, drug store (usual rounds). Don't forget the neighbors who think you have been called to the ministry of motherhood and send their children to your house, too! Then there are those who think you are rich for being able to stay at home (yeah, right) and those who wonder what you have done all day long! When I worked, I dropped the kids off, drove to work, got something to drink, sat at my desk, had adult conversation, went out for lunch. Do you get the picture?

Answer 10

you have obviously never had to do this before. i have been a go to work mom and a stay at home mom now for the last 7 years, don't get me wrong i stay home by choice, and i love my job, i want to raise my kids not have some one else do it for me, but a moms day never ends, they never have a day off..it is very mentally challenging, especially with little ones, and never having an adult conversation all day. never time for yourself. you never get a break, where you can just clock out and go to lunch. it is a never ending strain of chores,cooking, breakfast, lunh, dinner, 35 cupcakes for one kids class, grocery shopping while juggling little billy and little sally , trying to throw every thing in thr buggy, keeping them from killing each other, never ending laundry, dishes, dusting, sweeping, mopping, toilets, tubs, vacuumong,errands, after school activities, homework, projects, be here on time and be there on time and don't forget billys poster board, and we need diapers, and we still have to find time to look nice for our husbands, and time to spend quality with all of our kids individually, and alone time with husband, do you see where i'm going with this. and on top of that we don't get paid. sometimes i feel like everything i do goes unnoticed, and unappreciated. if i was out of the picture this household would fall apart, the bills wouldn't go out , no one would eat a good meal, no clean clothes, nothing...and without my husband doing the hard work that he does, we would fall apart. it takes 2 to make a good home with kids run smoothly. if i get sick...the house is in utter turmoil, and the workload is twice as much when i get better. but housewives with kids have just as much hard work as people who leave the house to work.