I've been married for about 4 months and now I 'm pregnant. my husband is a very good man who loves, cares and respect me so much. the problem is, he came to my life when I was in a deep depression because I was deeply hurt by someone whom I called my boyfriend but he actually wanted to sleep with me only.he was my first "boyfriend" and I had my first experience in everything from him.until now, I don't know if I love my 'boyfriend' so much that until now I can't forget him and want to be with him despite all the bad things he gave me, or maybe I am already crazy that I cannot see that there is a good men loves me so much I'm married with.I often hurt my husband feelings by saying I want to see 'him', I miss 'him' so much, I can't stop thinking about 'him', etc. for many times I wanted to end my marriage cos I know I hurt my husband alot.but he doesn't wanna get divorce. I keep thinking if I am so crazy or I am the kind of person who loves one man only in my life or what?help pls.
2007-07-19 22:27:56 · 14 answers · asked by depressed 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i think ur living in the past. what will divorce give u? ud be alone taking care of ur child with no man who luvs u. ur bf was crappy. he USED u. thats it. its really hard on our ego to accept tht u got dumped esp when u truly luv that man. but luv is something that can be gotten over. the hurt remains but u learn to live. at the same time u should count ur blessings u have with ur husband and appreciate him. he is ur present ur bf was ur bad past. time is the best healer. ur bf is not worth crying over. u have to learn to move on.
2007-07-19 23:09:48 · answer #1 · answered by f 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay you know that the only reason why he wanted to be with you was to sleep with you but you are still thinking about him. You need to wake up, get your life on track and see what you have before you lose it.
Your pregnant now and still telling your husband that you miss and want to see your ex. You need to wake up and smell the life that is before you sweetie.
I don't think what you have is love of this other man, it is obsession and stupidity. You should never have gotten married in the state you were in but that is water under the bridge, to late to rehash what was and now it is time to deal with the situation you are in.
I can't believe that you would bring a child into this type of situation. I can't see your marriage working out or even being a happy one if you continue to think like this. You both need some good marriage counseling and you probably need to go to individual counseling also.
Good luck
2007-07-20 05:55:10 · answer #2 · answered by ckamk1995 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One should never live in the past or the future will leave them behind.
Your husband has good qualities that can be rare to find in today's world. Look deeply at those qualities and hold them near.
You have a baby coming along in 4-5 mths and your time should be spent on your husband and pending birth.
There is always a "first" for everything, let this one be it.
2007-07-20 05:43:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
People live in present, not in past. U should see to ur future. U r married now.
Ur husband is a good person; u should do little care of him. OR
Think the scenario, u r with ur bf after 5 years and again think that, u r with ur husband. Which seems better for u???
Take ur decision…..
2007-07-20 06:01:27 · answer #4 · answered by freeze_fellow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
forget about this "ex boyfriend". You have a baby to think about...be with your husband...spend time w/ him...do things for him...and eventually all will be ok! Keep telling your husband these things and eventually he will leave you and the baby...=(...and you will be alone...your ex boyfriend probably won't want to take care of a baby that is not his...and you want to ruin a marraige for someone that is probably not available anyway? Don't you think this ex boyfriend would think you are awful for ruining your marraige? Forget about this dork! If this ex boyfriend loved you, he would not have let you marry your husband. =)
2007-07-20 06:57:13 · answer #5 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you got married too soon after your break up. In time you will get over him. Since you are already pregnant, I suggest that you focus on making a good life for your child, and hopefully you will eventualy feel for your husband, the way you felt for the jerk that used you.
2007-07-20 05:35:18 · answer #6 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds as though your husband is a rebound. I did that when I was 18 years old after my high school BF broke up with me. I came across another young man but I constantly thought about my old boyfriend. I wound up pregnant and getting married to young. 18 years later we divorced. I had very low self esteem. After I divorced I came across my old high school BF. I talked to him about 45 minutes after not seeing him for 20 years. That gave me so much closure. He was a dud and I was very happy that I never married him. You need to give yourself closure from your first BF.
2007-07-20 06:53:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems that making bad decisions is what you are good at. So go ahead dump the good guy go back to the bad guy and have the outcome you know you will get. More of being used.The only difference now is that you have involved a new baby.
2007-07-20 06:00:18 · answer #8 · answered by brian m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you write down all the bad things your ex has done to you. Keep reading it and you won't go back. If this doesn't help go and talk to a psychologist. Your lucky thaytyou have found a worthy man. Don't ruin it or you'll lose him too.
2007-07-20 05:36:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wake up, shake off you pregnancy hormonal imbalance & start living the relation you are in. You have both started a new life that will not care about YOUR past.
2007-07-20 06:16:55 · answer #10 · answered by mikebnchprss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋