"Accidentally" got pregnant, twice?

Question

My second wife insist that she "accidentally" got pregnant with our now 15 year old son. Her first husband married her after she "accidentally" got pregnant by him. That marriage became physically abusive and they divorced. Our marraige is filled with mutual verbal abuse. To this day she insist that both pregnancies were accidents. What do you think?

Answer 1

I suppose it possible, I can only guess it wasn't you using the birth control. My question is why are you asking this question 15 years later?

Answer 2

There is too such a thing as accidental pregancy....how ignorant to think otherwise. Over 50% of the population was probably an accident. People that are in a commited relationship, and don't feel the need to use condoms should expect that they may perhaps get pregnant, but there could be other reasons they don't think they would. There is the heat of the moment. There are drunk nights.

I think that if you love your wife enough to be with her for over 15 years, then this question shouldn't be what is important. You have a son. I seriously doubt that she used pregnancy to "rope" you in. As for the verbal abuse, maybe you two should sit down and talk about it. Come to a conclusion, like if you two feel the need to verbally abuse, or get mad at eachother, maybe instead you can just wrap your arms around eachother and think about the good times, and the reasons you love eachother, and then maybe the bad thoughts will leave.

Answer 3

At this point, what difference does it make whether the pregnancy was "accidental" or not? You have a 15 year old child who does not need to be made into an argument about how he was conceived. The fact is, he is here. If she came out and said to you that YES she got pregnant on purpose, what would change by that admittance? Accidentally getting pregnant is, more often than not, just a nice way of putting I was not acting responsibly while I was sexually active.

Answer 4

Accidental pregnancy or not, the issue between the two of you is poor, if not non-existent communication. It sounds to me that the mutual verbal abuse arises from each of your overwhelming desires to be right, to be the winner in the argument.

Here is the deal, when only one person wins in a relationship, no one wins.

This answer that I am giving you is in no way going to help you now, but it is intended for you to stop and consider the ways in which you both DO NOT actually communicate with one another and how this could lead to something as absurd as two accidental pregnacies.

This "accidental" business seems merely to be a symptom, but since you are unwilling to drop it, and in fact you are focused on it, you'll never get to the core of the problem.

Your core problem is HUGE and will take a shitload of outside, professional help, as well as a shitload of willingness on both your parts to make a change. As I noted above, I don't expect that this single question posed on Yahoo Answers will solve your problems or even begin you on your difficult journey forward, but I want you to know that whatever you decide to do, even though I don't know you, I am wishing you the very best in your situation. You have it in you to make the change, are you willing?

Answer 5

a pregnancy is not an accident. if someone is on birth controll it is bcoz they want to be and becoz they dont want to get pregnant so they make sure they take their pills. I know i am no expert but there has to be underlying factors as to why all of her relationships turn out abusive. mabey she does not want to be alone and doesnt think she is good enuff for anyone else except the abusive person she was with. she mabey thort that becoming pregnant will save her relationship. mabey she is unhappy within herself. depression could also be a factor to consider. but dont think for a second that she doesnt love and adore her children, dont take "an accident" as words for didnt want or doesnt want or doesnt love. Ur wife is probly going through some emotional ups and downs, why dont u sit down with her and tell her all the good things you love about her and why u r proud of her and why u r with her and treat her to something special like flowers or a movie. mabey she just needs a break from her stressfull life, book her a massage. talk to her about the verbal abuse tell her how it makes u feel and ask her for her opinion. try and talk about how u can make ur relationship better set some goals. set a different way of dealing with anger rather than taking it out verbally on ur partner. good luck

Answer 6

Yeah I can see once being an accident but twice. I think she was trying to trap someone. I think you need to reconsider your marriage, for one because of the verbal abuse, neither one should be doing it especially with kids in the house and two, it doesnt sound like you trust her. And with out trust there isn't much of a relationship.

Maybe some marriage counseling would help or maybe you two need to talk first and see where you both want to go.

Good luck either way

Answer 7

ok just because she accidently got pregnant twice does not mean shes dumb people below
we all make mistakes
but a child is NEVER a mistake
there a wonderful gift
and yes she didnt think about getting pregnant with the wrong guy casue now hes in her life forever
she probably has so much on her mind right now
from the past
just dont loose her with verbal abuse cause that might turn into physical abuse
i know you might not think so but it happened to my parents

Answer 8

Is she going to live the rest of her life in denial?There's nothing like an accidental pregnancy in this day and modern times.In the first place if they were accidental she would have gotten rid of them just in time.I think she's up to something more materialistic from these relationships.These fights if not talked over your gone end up divorcing her as well.Get over what you have in your past the fights about her accidental pregnancies should be settled because in life there's more to concentrate on other than fights about pregnancies that already brought positive outcomes.

Answer 9

I'm the wife. My first pregnancy occurred after I left his father and moved out. After then I was not on birth control (I was single) and he came over crying...well, you get the picture. WE had sex and got pregnant. I left him when my son was 5 months old when he held a shotgun on me.

The son I had with this prince is 13 years old...not 15. While engaged to Prince Charming, I made it quite clear that I wanted more children. The pill didn't work for more than a few months for me, then I had to change kinds and three months later...break through bleeding. When he made the comment that he wouldn't have married me if he had wanted more children(bait & switch?), I made an appointment with my OB/GYN to get an IUD (although I had said I would never do that because of the stories I'd heard...at this point I wanted to make sure I would NOT get pregnant-didn't know if marriage would work). I was told to return to him when I started my period as that is the only time they will insert an IUD. Yep, that's right. No period and WE were pregnant! When my son let me know that his Dad had told him he didn't want more children and I had gotten off of birth control on purpose, my son called himself a "mistake"! I let him know that God doesn't make mistakes and he even uses ASSHOLE's like his DAD to fulfill His purpose! (HAHA I didn't really tell him THAT part!) As for the verbal abuse?? Yep, telling your pregnant wife that you'd hoped she'd been raped and murdered, telling her you'd like to splatter her brains all over the walls...yep, ABUSE! Thanks to those who answered with an eye to both sides of the story...and clarity as to the integrity of the asker! :)

Answer 10

Very possible,Nothing is 100%.If you are going to have sex,there is always that possibilty.Do you look on your son as a accident or blessing?15 years ago we did not have birth control as good as it is now.Rubbers often broke There was the pill but a lot of weman couldn't take them.If you have a marriage that has lasted this long its more than your son.If you cannot live with her any more than get out,but 15 is a tender age,it would hard on your son.Wait till he is in college.

Answer 11

every woman knows she has eggs and she knows about sperm and she knows what happens when she has sex so accidents do happen maybe it was, but they did come out with condoms like in 1930s so she did know that if she didnt use protection she could get pregnant or maybe shes in denial, because she is embarressed to tell the truth, but children should not be accidents or mistakes , they are gifts. thats the only opinion i have. but some women do get pregnant "accidentally" that is why we invented condoms and birth control. and other devices to prevent becoming pregnant.