my dad is transgendered, and i completely disagree with this. ive been lying to him for years, but i can lie anymore. how can i talk to him?
2007-07-19 19:50:16 · 20 answers · asked by tmhangel 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Why can't you just be happy because he's happy?
2007-07-19 19:54:14 · answer #1 · answered by The Good Twin 3 · 7⤊ 0⤋
Well nothing is a bigger slap in the face than telling someone you don't agree with them being themself...
and that applies to anyway you go about telling them whether tactful or not! I would at least wait a few more years until you're mature enough to understand the concept of diversity and the fact that people are different. If everyone were the same as you life would be boring! As a gay man I thought working with all gay people in an office would be fun...trust me...it's not! It lacked diversity and anything lacking diversity is uninteresting! You need to realize there is no such thing as a perfect world. People are different...learn to accept those differences and move on with your own life!
Really, what do you think you're going to get out of telling your dad you disagree with who he is? Probably nothing at all besides conflict, hatred, drama and all things bad! And in the end you may not have a dad anymore...
Here's the scenario that keeps playing through my mind:
You: "Dad I disagree with your lifestyle."
Dad: "Ok so who cares?"
And then the conflict just escalates...
2007-07-20 01:38:37 · answer #2 · answered by Mr. Sexi Man 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you think that if you tell him that you disagree with it, it will change him? I think it's only going to hurt him...he is who is he is, and if you love each other, let it be. It must be hard to live with a dad who's transgendered...hard in the sense that you have to endure comments and such from other people. You wish you didn't. I understand. You could talk to him about that. I'm sure he's feeling the same way. That doesn't mean he's going to change, though. But maybe he can help you understand how to deal with it. He's probably struggling with these issues himself. Good luck.
2007-07-19 20:29:40 · answer #3 · answered by It's Ms. Fusion if you're Nasty! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He was born that way. Sorry, but it's just how we are. It's not a lifestyle any more than a birth mark is a lifestyle, or a missing limb is a lifestyle. We don't CHOOSE this, and I don't understand why people can't grasp such a concept.
Girl brain in a boy body, how is that so hard to understand?
Did we pick that body? No
Did we pick that brain? No
It's just how it is. So to disagree with it makes no sense. That's like saying "I disagree with your inability to walk", or "I disagree with your 'choice' to wear corrective lenses to see with".
2007-07-20 02:23:47 · answer #4 · answered by Miakoda 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First and foremost remember this, it is your Dad's choice to live as he does. As a child living at home you had to agree with it; like it or not because you lived under his roof. If you aren't living under his roof anymore. Then take the lesson he has taught you, "Be happy with who you are." It isn't easy for a man/woman to come out of the closet about an alternative lifestyle. When you do, you take the chance of subjecting yourself to harassment from others who don't agree with your choice. I wish you could be happy that he loved you enough to include you in his choice. Be glad you have a Dad in your life. Many of us didn't/don't when growing up. I did, and my Dad was an alcoholic who came home drunk most every night. He would storm through the house until he found something to yell about. Then he either hit, or pushed around on Mom or me (I'm the oldest of 3 kids) until he passed out. I would have given the world to have a Dad like yours.
2007-07-19 20:47:49 · answer #5 · answered by Kylen 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
So your sudden need to clear the air is more important than the feelings of your father? Isn't that kind of selfish? If your father is transgendered, it's not a "lifestyle." It's the way he was born. What does it matter if you agree or disagree? It's your father, he was born that way, he can't change it, and your disapproval of him will only make him feel bad. Leave it and direct your excess energy to something that will actually help people.
2007-07-19 19:56:53 · answer #6 · answered by Michael B - Prop. 8 Repealed! 7 · 8⤊ 0⤋
What is there to disagree with. Its the way he is. If it wasnt for him you would have no life and no opportunity to agree or disagree with anything. Whatever he is you owe him your life. Or you can throw away the relationship you have with him by letting him know that you have judged him and he is guilty by whatever concept of right and wrong you have chosen to adopt(a privilege he gave you). Maybe you should try to understand him and see things from his perspective before you blacklist him. You'll never have another father.
2007-07-19 19:54:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Get it off your chest, because it will only get worse. I don't know much about transgendered people, but I believe in experiencing before judging. Meaning, maybe you should try and learn more about it before you get angry with him. He is who he is, but he will always be your Dad. You may not agree with him, but you need to find a way to relieve the feelings you have or you will carry them to the day you die.
2007-07-19 19:55:19 · answer #8 · answered by munkees81 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Let it go, its his life, can you even fathom what it would be like to feel you're in the wrong "body" and must act a certain way that you don't agree with, what is someone forced you to act, dress,, and live as the opposite sex, could you maintain that? How closed minded can you be? I feel so sorry for your father, he has an empty space where a daughter/son used to be. Shame on you!
2007-07-19 19:54:28 · answer #9 · answered by Rachel Green 3 · 7⤊ 0⤋
You didn't all of a sudden get honest. What happened is that you're actually more grossed out by this than you thought you were gonna be. And what you're trying to do is figure out how you can have a relationship with him without throwing up, frankly. Now that I've cleared this up for you (grin), can you take it from here?
This is a problem that you can work out together. I'm sure you'll think of something. Just talk on the telephone if it has to come to that. But be honest Now. Starting now. To heck with the past. He didn't do this because he had your approval. He did it because he wanted to.
2007-07-19 20:02:09 · answer #10 · answered by shirleykins 7 · 1⤊ 5⤋
Um he's your father... ever hear of honesty? Sure it's going to hurt him, but your his daughter. He'll respect your ability to be honest. Try the mature approach, then you might find you're not so bothered. You don't have to agree, but he is your dad.
2007-07-19 20:46:43 · answer #11 · answered by A-Francisco 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋