Worried about new gay co-worker in the office?

Question

Now, I have nothing against gay people at all; I like to think of myself as very progressive and open minded. Actually, I tell everyone I know that I am and they all agree. With that being said, a new employee started off this week on Monday making the rounds about the office introducing himself. Of course, everyone acts so immature "I think he's gay", blah..

Anyway, this morning in the break room I think I caught him glancing at my crotch. I awkwardly said "heya, good morning" and left swiftly. Also, in our office the windows are like mirrors and I could clearly see him checking out my butt in the reflections every time I walked by.

Should I sue him or get him fired? I feel like I should get some kind of shield on my butt in case if we're alone in the bathroom. I almost feel like holding a book against by rear every time I walk by his cubicle for the chance of getting raped. Maybe I should pass out flyers warning the other guys in the office; I'd hate to see someone raped!

Answer 1

Don't Flatter yourself, it was me and I was trying to see if you were wearing Walmart Jeans, or designer Jeans. Give me a break you're not all that. I'm more man than you will ever be, and more woman than you'll ever get. Peace.

Answer 2

there's a big difference between being checked out and being raped. So your expressed attitude is a definite indication you are nowhere as open minded as you claim to be. Instead of treatign the little extra attention as a compliment, you are off on some wild imaginary tangent makign like the guy is committing a sex crime when all he is doing is admiring you from a distance with no display of any intent of going further.

and even if he says he like syour body or part sthereof, tha tisn't sexual assault or a crime; rather it is a clear compliment. Shoudl that actually occur, all you have to do is say thanks and go on with yoru business not get all freaked out.

Answer 3

Have you thought about taking an adult approach and tell him that his starring makes you uncomfortable. Or maybe just go to a supervisor and let them know that his staring is unappreciative.
Now if those don't work then maybe you can take it to the next level.
Now i can't tell from your picture weather or not your a man or a woman. But if he is gay and your a woman then why would you think he is so interested in your butt?
Anyway, good luck, but don't be so sue happy, be an adult and confront him in a non violent way.

Answer 4

So much for being "very progressive and open-minded"...You're basing all of this on something you THINK the guy is doing? And yet if a girl were doing it, you probably wouldn't mind at all...though I'm sure your wife or girlfriend found out about it, they would be sure to have a "slightly" different opinion.

Although I would find it hard to believe that a woman would find a man so full of himself as you remotely attractive. Not if she had any self-esteem, that is.

Answer 5

So everytime you sneak a peak at a female coworker maybe she should be you fired. I don't think you will get raped at work by the new gay man, if he is gay at all. Who said he is? You sound homophobic to me. If he grabs you butt or asks you for a sexual favor then yeah report it to a supervisor. If not, leave it alone. Gay men don't go around raping straight guys they work with. They have plenty of men that would want them.

Answer 6

I really doubt a co-worker's going to rape you. You sound paranoid about all of this. [Flyer's, firing, suing???] Why would you try and get him fired if your open-minded and have nothing against gay people? He's only looking, it's not like he's grabbing your butt or anything (this is when it becomes actual harassment), and I don't think that would happen.

Answer 7

And to think you have mentioned that you are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO progressive and opened minded. Yet so hypocritical.....

Seeing you are being checked out by a gay has made you so uncomfortable and uneasy.

Informed him politely that you are being uncomfortable of him checking you out. If he stops, good. If not, speak to your supervisor about it, He or she would handle it wwithout causing him to lose his job.

Office gossip that you got him fired.....makes you an enemy with the rest of the office people. They will watch the front & backs lest you get them fires or sued for such a minute thing.

Answer 8

Yeah well, I have nothing against Straight people myself, except insecure ones who can't take a compliment from a misguided gay guy who actually thinks your attractive and just Move On! Maybe I should sue your silly a** for talking. While you're jabbering your jaw, you might try and rape me. Perhaps I should warn everyone with a flier. You may try and rape them too. "STAY ON THE LOOKOUT FOLKS - THIS INSECURE MORON IS A POTENTIAL HOMOPHILE. STAY OUT OF THE BATHROOM. HE SHOULD BE 'FIRED' FROM THIS SITE IMMEDIATELY!"

Answer 9

You need to get over yourself. He was not looking at your crotch or your butt. You are imagining things. Just because he is gay, doesn't necessarily mean you would be his type just because he likes men.
If he grabs you and says anything blatantly inappropriate, you have every right to report him.. Otherwise, leave it alone.

Answer 10

For someone who says that they are pretty open minded... you are pretty closed to the fact that another human is checking you out and may actually find you attractive.

Why be afraid of this, or uncomfortable... He is not stupid and will not attack you at work...

Realize what is really happening.. someone is finding you attractive... be happy, thankful.. and grateful.

You do not have to respond to anything he does..