I want my husband to be with me during the child birth, but my mother in law keeps showing her disgusted face and offering advises for not having a man(my husband) in a delivery room! What should I do? I want my husband to be with me, but what if she does not let my husband to come in?
2007-07-19 15:30:42 · 62 answers · asked by Star60 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
Talk to your husband. Ask him to be with you. Am sure he would explain that to his mum in a better way than you can. Its more important how he wants it, not how his mum wants.
2007-07-19 15:42:04 · answer #1 · answered by Aquagal 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she can't behave, she doesn't get to be there, right?
MIL can either respect what you want or miss out on the birth. You do not need any stress during labor, so if she plans on stressing you out, don't feel badly about keeping your visit to the hospital a secret until after the baby is born.
Your husband will probably have to tell her that he wants to see his child's birth and you want him there too.
Do YOU even want your MIL there? It's completely OK to not have her in there. YOU decide who is in the delivery room, no one else. Good luck!
BTW, my husband is in the Army and he missed the birth of our second child. He's still very sad about it 20 months later.
2007-07-19 15:41:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hope your Husband is not a mamas boy.If he has to ask her for everything he does.Then your SOL.Just make sure your hubby is with you at all times and advise your doctor that your husband will be with you during delivery.
Your mother in law is living in the 50's.when no one was allowed to take part of the birthing except the mommy and doctor.
Just tell her to go save her son a seat in the waiting room.
2007-07-19 16:15:04 · answer #3 · answered by rubyjuly 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"LET" your husband in the delivery room with you?????? If you have asked your husband to be in the delivery room with you and he wants to be there, then he's in the room with you.
Sit your husband down and ask him point blank if he wants to be in the room with you. Possibly he does not and has mentioned it to his mother and she is trying to tell you in so many words. If he assures you that he does, then let him know how very important it is that he is there with you. You can also advise the delivery room staff that your husband will be in the room with you and one of the nurses will make sure that he is there. I would also tell the staff that you DON'T want your mother in law in the room. All she is going to do is cause problems and make you a nervous wreck.
It sounds like your mother in law still has some control over your husband. Its too bad that he has not decided who the most important woman in his life is, you or mom.
2007-07-19 15:49:52 · answer #4 · answered by ? 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
YOU are the one having the baby!! She has NO authority over who is with you in the room! You can even tell your nurse that the ONLY person you want in the room during delivery is your hubby and that you don't want her in the room with you. You would be depriving your hubby the chance to see the most beautiful miracle in the world. And if YOU want, you can make sure he is up by your head so he doesn't see the not so pretty parts of birth.
2007-07-19 16:29:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think she's being rude. Back when our Moms had kids they didn't allow the husbands to be present for the birth so she's basing her advise on what she knows not what is commonly practiced now. My own mother made me feel uncomfortable with this. I made my husband promise to not look "down there" during the birth because of comments my mom made. In the end he did and it was an incredible experience for both of us. Let your husband handle this conversation with his mother. And if you have a good doctor (and good nurses) they will honor YOUR wishes, not your mother in law's.
2007-07-19 15:39:54 · answer #6 · answered by dizprincess387 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay, I was never in this situation because my husband and I both agreed that he would be there for the birth of our son.
I would suggest telling your mother-in-law that it is your wish to have your husband in the delivery room so that he may remember this experience. Tell her that it is your birth and not hers and that the decision of who is going to be in the that room would be up to you and your husband.
Sometimes, you just got to be direct and to the point to make sure that they know what your feelings are. Hopefully, she'll back off....
2007-07-19 15:45:44 · answer #7 · answered by Jessica K 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is important to maintain a good relationship with your MIL.
She must have the old belief as it will bring bad luck to the man if he is present in delivery room, as most old folks believe that the delivery room is "unclean".
My advise is to convince her that IT IS ALRIGHT for your husband to be in the delivery room as he will appreciate you and his mother better after he had witness the birth of his own child.
If it still doesn't work then keep her away from the hospital. Dun get into stiff argument with her. keep your cool.
2007-07-19 15:48:33 · answer #8 · answered by QingAiDe 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is NOT up to her whether or not your husband is in the delivery room with you or not. I think the question here is whether or not you allow HER in.
It is your husbands right to be in there and experience all the joys of watching his baby be born into the world. It will be one of the happiest experiences of his life. I cant believe yous mother in law wants to take that way from him. Tell her its the year 2007, not 1950.
2007-07-19 15:41:59 · answer #9 · answered by haydae24 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Uh how old is your husband? Can he not decide for himself? If not then it's time to cut the apron strings. Watching your child being born is the most amazing experience you and your husband will ever share together. I have three kids and each birth was completely unique and special on it's own. Your husband will regret it if he let's his mom talk him out of it, trust me, fight for him to be in there with you. Tell your mother-in-law it's not 1960 anymore and they encourage the husbands to be in the room nowadays.
2007-07-19 15:38:41 · answer #10 · answered by Gennina T 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband should be the one who is with you during your pregnancy and would normally be the one to drive you to the hospital. Your mother in law cannot STOP him from coming into the room and she should really butt out. My husband was there and he has so much more respect for me after he saw me give birth. It is a very emotional time for a man as well as the woman and my husband bonded with my children immediately. Who does she think should be there.... her? I wouldn't have been able to stand my mother in law being in delivery with me... and with all of those sharp objects it wouldn't be wise of her to be there either.
2007-07-19 15:34:40 · answer #11 · answered by momofthreemiracles 5 · 8⤊ 0⤋