I am a 23 year old college student who has family in SoCal. My parents right now are having a lot of problems and I think my mom is up for a divorce. My father has abused us all emotional and mentally for a long time. I don't have much money and I would have a place to stay @ my cousins house. But she is married w/ 2 kids and I would feel like an intruder. I am interested in applying to schools in LA, but i'm afraid that i have past the deadline. Maybe i could try a community college for starters? Would I need a car? Money for an apartment? A job? Wow! how would I go about doing this all on my own, in a huge city where I don't really know anyone or anything? I keep going back and forth about moving there or not. But I know that my home environment right now is not healthy for me and I have become depressed as a result. What should I do? Anybody give me some pointers? Some help?
2007-07-19 14:48:45 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
First of all, as it is clear to you that your current environment is not healthy, then the best situation would be for you to move out. As you dont have much money, the best place for you to go would be to your cousins house. Yes, you would feel like an intruder, but if your cousin has offered you a place to stay, take it, if only for a while. Since you would have that place to stay, you could get a job. That would allow you to accumulate money and allow for more flexibility when it comes to an appartment or car or college. A car would be the first bet as it allows you mobility and more distance covered. it allows you to set more of a schedule rather than a bus or a friends ride.
As for colleges, that is a big change and can cause massive amounts of debt if not carefully managed. Ideally find a college that you would eventually like to transfer but start out at a community college. Community colleges are a lower cost alternative to spending all four years at a big money university. Find classes that transfer to the college of your choice and take those (i.e. try to get your core classes out of the way so you only have to take your major classes at the big university).
Good luck!
2007-07-19 14:57:11 · answer #1 · answered by sashenka953 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am confused about where you live now and where you want to move. I think your dad sounds a lot like my dad and I spend tons of time figuring out ways to never have to move back home. I'm 23, also, and I went 5 hours away to college about 5 years ago. Usually people will try to get a job before they move somewhere just so they know they can pay for it. If you can't afford to visit and look for a job first, I guess you can go ahead and move and then just spend every minute of the day looking for a job once you get there---that's what I'd do. The same thing goes for college--try to set it up first if you can. If you can't afford it, get a job and save some money first.
You can make a lot of money in interest once you start earning some through high-interest CD accounts that banks have. Right now the interest rates go up to 5%. I have some that keep my money for a few months and I get 3% on them. This could help you get money for school faster.
Apartmentratings.com is a great website for choosing a place to live. You can see who has lived there and liked it or not liked it. If you want to find somewhere cheap & safe you may want to live somewhere with a lot of college students right near a university. Sometimes people advertise cheap prices for sharing an apartment on craigslist.com. This is ok, too and is how I found my current place. Just make sure you check out the place with a friend or meet the person leasing it in a public place to make sure they aren't some kind of predator.
You can get around without a car--especially if you get a job at a restaurant or something near your house. Cars are expensive. If you have a couple of thousand dollars you can get a cheap old one now. (look on craigstlist or e-bay motors). If you don't, then don't buy one until you've saved some money. I haven't had a car for a long time and I'm doing ok...I just live in a really populated urban area so I can walk everywhere.
Lastly and most importantly, find some of your high school friends who have successfully moved to other cities and ask them for some help..they know you better so they should be able to help more with your exact situation.
You're an adult. Don't be afraid to live on your own! Good luck!
2007-07-19 22:01:21 · answer #2 · answered by Mel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good for you for exploring your options and trying to get out of a bad situation. You certainly are old enough to make it on your own and it sounds like you are a thoughtful person so I have great hope for you.
I'd say it's awfully nice of your cousin to offer you a place to stay and you might want to take it, if only on a temporary basis. Perhaps before you move in you could sit down with your cousin and discuss how long you'll be living there and under what conditions, and what will be expected of you. You could stay there temporarily until you get a job that will help you afford a place of your own, for example. Your cousin might really appreciate having you around to help with the kids.
As for going to community college, that sounds like a great idea. It's easy to enroll. The more education you have, the better you'll be able to take care of yourself. There's usually no problem with transferring credits between schools.
As far as finding a job, it's not hard if you have some persistence. Do you have any qualifications or previous work experience? You can use that to help you find a new job. You can check the newspaper or an online job listing service to help you find a job near where you live. Don't forget to check the campus of your new school for jobs that might be available on campus. One piece of advice I've heard is that until you get a job, you should treat finding a job as your job. That is, spend as much time a day looking for jobs as you would working. You should be able to find something in no time.
I don't live in LA but I suspect the public transportation there is very good. I wouldn't worry about getting a car right away.
Finally, get what help you can for your mental health. Your school may have a counseling center that can help you work through your difficult abusive past, or they could hopefully help you find a competent professional in the area. Don't forget that you will be around family (your cousin) so she can support you, too.
Best wishes for a happy and successful future.
2007-07-19 22:02:19 · answer #3 · answered by drshorty 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would start with first things first, and see if you can even go to school in SoCal this semester. If so, apply, and go from there.
You will definately need a job, unless you are lucky enough to have someone feed you, cloth you, insure you and pay for school. Chances are you will also need a car. Focusing on obtaining these goals will help alleviate your depression. Trust me. Start small and keep at it. You can accomplish anything you set your mind on. Im not saying its going to be easy. Its not. Just keep moving forward to where YOU want to be, and you will get there. It can be done!:)
2007-07-19 21:58:03 · answer #4 · answered by JLea 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's not easy to become a grown up but some time we got to take a chance thats part of growing up. get a job and look for a roommate of ur gender stay in school and give it all u got.
2007-07-19 22:00:15 · answer #5 · answered by just me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take a trip there, find out the prices there, and the available housing. as well as a good job, part time, meet new people and test the waters. best of luck...
Debra
2007-07-19 21:52:50 · answer #6 · answered by debra_ehu 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was able to save my marriage thanks to my family and friends. I also read a lot about marital issues and tips on how to save your relationship. The ebook on this site helped me a lot http://savemarriage.toptips.org
Check it out it's worth it.
2014-09-28 00:19:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋