My parent's have been divorced for over ten years now and my mom has been getting child support money from him for a while...
Untill recently, my father hasn't been paying and we're all annoyed and angry with it cuz he gambles, drinks, and he gets new cars...but he hasn't paid child support money and we're struggling!!
My mom just told me that she wants to get my father's girlfriends address to mail them child support letters, ect. But she wants ME to do it...
I understand why cuz my father isn't the best to talk to (He's so, SO difficult!!) and they always start fighting when they're talking...
So, yet again I'm in the middle...but I feel uncomfortable to ask his gf for her address and for her to be hastled with these letters...my father ignores them and tells me that he's trying, but it's hard to believe with him and his new car, clothes, booze, and gambling money...
What should I do?!
<3 La Reina
2007-07-19 14:37:36 · 17 answers · asked by La Reina 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My father doesn't really have a residence address...I heard today that he's living with his gf, that's why my mom brought all this up...
But I'm trying to call him (he always picks up cuz his cell is like, attached to his ear) and he's not picking up...
He know's somethings up or else he wouldn't avoid me...
2007-07-19 16:11:05 · update #1
You are not the one who should be involved whatsoever! That whole situation is strictly between your mother & father & NOT you. If she needs help getting support from him, she has someone way stronger than the both of you put together - that's the court of law!!! She has every rite to take it to court & let them handle it. She w/not even have to get an atty. or worry about needing money for justice to be done. She is just trying to "jab" it to your father by trying to make it uncomfortable for him & his girlfriend. They know what's going on. Obviously unfortunately they do not care or they would do something about it. I would tell your mom not to stoop that low to do what she's thinking of doing. She w/use more force & get more action doing it legally. From your brief discription of your father, he has a couple bad situations he already dealing with on his own. One being no doubt a drinking problem, the other a gambling problem. It sounds like he's a duel addicted person & having lived w/that, nothing else matters but the money to take care of the addictions. It's a disease & only he can control it w/the help of professionals. Please tell your mom to take care of this in an adult way that w/get more results than any other way of doing it. The courts could even have his wages attached & she'd make sure she got some money. Use the power of the court & PLEASE don't you get involved. It has nothing to do w/you & it shouldn't even been mentioned to you to begin with. You take care of you...
2007-07-19 15:11:31 · answer #1 · answered by Sue C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your mom,"No".
This is her fight and she is wrong to get you involved.
Also,I suggest you look for an Alanon or Alateen near you and start going.
If your dad has alcohol issues,you may want to seek help for yoursel,and it is free,donations only if you have them.
Cheaper than therapy and you won't feel so alone.
Your mom is doing the best she can,but tell her you love her but do not want to be put in the middle of the situation.
She ahss other venues she can go that do not include her using you to get to him.
It is also unfair that she would ask you.
Sorry you're going through this.
Get help for you,and let the adults duel it out for themselves.
2007-07-19 14:49:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother should go through the proper LEGAL channells to get the support she has coming. In no way, shape or form should you be doing anything. Even though you are the child being "supported" this is none of your concern and shame on your mother for using you in this manner. Tell her to call a lawyer or go to public assistance and they will see that he pays what is due. She doesn't need to have contact with him at all, they will handle it for her.
2007-07-19 14:45:11 · answer #3 · answered by foodieNY 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You BOTH have EVERY right to be angry but I do not believe a parent should put the child in the middle... do not do ANYTHING that makes you feel uncomfortable.. perhaps try thinking of another way of going about it... REPORT HIS SORRY A$$... if you feel comfortable calling him then go ahead and let him know he needs to take care of his business..but darling it is NOT your responsibility to be a middle man for your parents. Best of Luck
2007-07-19 14:42:48 · answer #4 · answered by mandie_j_lee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want to be in the middle, then tell your Mom you arent' comfortable being in the middle of the situation. If she has a lawyer, then he can do it or she can be a grown up and ask for it herself!!
If she insists, tell her you asked for it and they wouldn't give it to you. I don't ever encourage children to lie to their parents, but I agree that it's not your responsibility. You could always say 'My Mom wants your address so she can send you child support letters' and then they are bound to say no, so you wouldn't be lying.
2007-07-19 14:42:25 · answer #5 · answered by endo_chic 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your Mom picked him, you had no choice, she wants the child support $ then she should be taking care of business. Come on Mom, not fair to blace any of the burden on your kid, not bad enough Dad is a lousy provider, but now you need kid to fight your battles. Shame on Mom.
2007-07-19 14:45:37 · answer #6 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, it is up to the courts to take care of this. Your mom has no reason to put you in the middle of this. You my dear, are the innocent one. Your mom needs to go to court and they can take the money right out of his check. She is being lazy and trying to make her problem yours. Your dad has issues it sounds like with drinking and stuff. So, you stay out of it and let the adults, start acting like adults. Also, his girlfriend has nothing to do with any of this.
2007-07-19 14:45:28 · answer #7 · answered by non o u biznis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your dad does have a responsibility to his children, but it is not your responsibility to go after him. It is natural for your mom to be frustrated but you must feel badly about this situation as well. Ultimately you need to do what you think is right; if you sit back and not help your mom you may have guillt, but if you do help her, you may find resentment.There is no "happy ending"... Unless of-course your dad magically stops being difficult...
2007-07-19 14:48:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell ur mom to go to a free legal advice office or a law shool near u that offers free legal advice and take his butt to court and get a judge to execute a court order for manddatory child support payments. if he does not pay the court can seize his assets and turn the proceeds over to ur mom.
2007-07-19 14:44:16 · answer #9 · answered by david w 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is your Mom and Dad's problem not yours. Let your Mom get a lawyer and let him handle it.
Be nuetural with your parents, one day the child support payments won't be there, but your two parents will be!
2007-07-19 14:43:43 · answer #10 · answered by keeptrying4sure 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋