Been 2gether a little over 2 years, and i honestly thought we were to the point where it would be a great idea for us to get an apt. He said he wants to but "he needs his own space". I CAN respect that but i can't help that my feelings are deeply hurt by his decision. Basically what he is telling me is he's not as committed as he SAYS he is. I respect his decision a 100% but this is really frustrating to me because i thought we were better than that and at a point in our relationship where we could make this happen. Guess not. Am i wrong for feeling hurt by his decision? Rude answers i will report because this is serious to me and i honestly am hurt by this. Thanks in advance
2007-07-19 13:18:31 · 9 answers · asked by janetgoins19 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Great answer marge!!! i planned on doin that anyway. Phoenix........your answer sucked u DONT know the half of it
2007-07-19 13:41:07 · update #1
pappy u don't know what ur talking about either. Like i said u don't know the half of it. I did better without ur answers. Have a great night thank u anyway tho
2007-07-19 14:45:51 · update #2
Maybe you should talk to him about it. While I understand where you are coming from, some men just don't want to give up their place to live with their girlfriends. It's natural.
They like to come and go whenever they please, they like to lay around and watch what they want on tv, they don't like having to share their space or answer to someone else.
I don't think that him not wanting to live together has anything to do with his committment level, but if you are concerned, as him. If you don't feel comfortable with the answer, then you will need to decide what step to take next.
The worst thing you can do is jump to conclusions.
2007-07-19 13:23:49 · answer #1 · answered by endo_chic 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When guys are alone, or with other guys, they are able to let their guard down and relax. They do not have to worry about personal hygiene and certain bodily emissions. When he is with you, he is on his "best impression" behavior. When he is alone, he can belch, scratch and other things that you most likely would really not like!
He may love you, but he is not yet ready to give up his time alone yet! What he is really saying is that for whatever reason, he is not ready to make a 24/7/365 together commitment!
There could be many reasons why he does not want to live with you. It could be that he is happy having a place to call home where he can toss his coat on the sofa, and not have to worry about it being a problem. It could be that he has hobbies that you do not know about. (ballet dancing in a tutu!)
Most likely he is not ready to make that step yet. If you were not ready, and he was, would you want him to pressure you into moving in together? Would you expect him to be hurt? the answers should be no!
His level of commitment is not in question here. His readiness to live with you is. If you push him, he may agree, but that is a bad way to start off a life!
2007-07-19 21:00:39 · answer #2 · answered by fire4511 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My advise is, go by your gut feelings. If you are feeling uncomfortable with a situation in any relationship, you can bet your boots it will not get better. He is obviously doing some thinking and if he can't deal with his thoughts, at the end it will come and bite him and you will be the one who will get hurt. Better to give both yourselves space for the time being and see what will eventuate. It can make or break but, wouldn't it be better then getting married and get hurt more than you are now?
2007-07-19 20:50:19 · answer #3 · answered by BFCP 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just by your answer to phoenix shows that you are not only wanting others to think for you, but a total lack of commitment on your part. Save the rude comments to me and just report me. Personally I believe you to want a one sided relationship in which you hold all of the cards. No wander he wants his space.
2007-07-19 20:54:51 · answer #4 · answered by pappysgotitgoinon 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm thinking that it's not that he solely wants his space honey, it's coming across more like you may be suffocating him. Which has nothing to do with his commitment towards you. Back off a little, do some things with your friends and give him a reason to make the attempt. It's not fair that you seem to be doing all the work in this relationship. And no, it's not wrong to feel hurt...that's a normal response to something like this. But it should be a warning sign that you are giving way more than you seem to be getting in return out of this relationship.
2007-07-19 20:24:31 · answer #5 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It's hard to say if he's not as committed. By nature, they are more skittish when it comes to letting go of their single selves. After being together so long, you should know in your heart whether or not he is committed to you, living together or not. Give him his "space", go out with the girls and make yourself less available to him. If it's true that absence makes the heart grow fonder, you'll find out soon enough if he's committed.
2007-07-19 20:45:59 · answer #6 · answered by foodieNY 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you kidding? Since when does being roommates constitute commitment?????? If he were COMMITED to you he'd ask you to share his life, not just his bed.
2007-07-19 20:27:24 · answer #7 · answered by lady_phoenix39 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think your right.. looks like he's not as commited to you as you are to him. I say give him his space,no apt and less phone calls, lets see who calls who 1st. I say keep a distance just to see if he comes calling you. Thats what I'd do. good luck
2007-07-19 20:25:27 · answer #8 · answered by Marge 5 · 1⤊ 3⤋
only he knows that
2007-07-19 20:36:57 · answer #9 · answered by princessfionafantasy 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋