My husband and I separated in '98, -then eventually divorced.
I never shed a tear, it had been 7 years of hell, -I was all too happy to see him go. Over the years, I came to some realizations, and events played through my mind, I pretty much KNEW that he never loved me, never wanted to marry, only did it to make himself look good-and got me pregnant to keep himself out of jail/prison. He was never there for me, it was never a WE situation, it was all about him, him, him, I just knew deep down, and it never bothered me-other than feeling like an idiot for wasting my life with someone like that-
my problem is, he finally-(in a heated argeument the other evening)-confessed all of the above---now, that I've heard him say all of those things, I am so hurt and messed up inside. I think about it and I just want to cry, --why? why now? I don't understand,,,,how do I deal with this, I am not sure I want to-just why now does it bother me, when it hasn't all of these years? Why now?
2007-07-19 13:10:05 · 6 answers · asked by trinity3x3 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Because your human! As women, we'll put up with a lot. Especially for the sake of our family. But, there comes a point when enough is enough. Our feelings are guarded and our defense mechanisms kick into high gear. But, just because we don't cry, doesn't mean we don't hurt. Isn't it so much easier to push our feelings aside, to repress emotions that might otherwise make us weak? Isn't it easier to be angry because it helps us not look back; it helps make us feel stronger? To think something is one thing. To be told to your face, with no regard for your feelings, is a completely different matter. Because no matter how he "says" he feels about you, I'm sure you loved him. Especially because he's the father of your child. Just remember, words are sometimes used for the sole purpose of hurting. But, what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger. My advice is to cry...let it all out...grieve and move on. You have to deal with your emotions, otherwise, it'll come back like it has now. (Believe me, I went through something very, very similiar.) Everything happens for a reason. Good luck and....actually....congratulations for having the strength to get rid of someone that negative from your life!
2007-07-19 13:35:30 · answer #1 · answered by Miss Sunshine 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because even though you knew those things deep down b/c he never verbalized it didn't hit as hard. But to have endured all that you have & to now have this jerk spew it out, it's like ok, so he really did feel this way & it does hurt! He's a jerk. Just be THANKFUL you dropped that loser! Some women stay! Its ok to cry but look at this as a learning lesson, turned blessing b/c it's over!
2007-07-19 20:18:23 · answer #2 · answered by Unique Soul 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man! It's like an episode of the twilight zone. Talk about living in Denial.
The Reality is what's bothering you.
Seriously- you probably need to see someone (professionally). Something's obviously behind all of this.
2007-07-19 20:18:38 · answer #3 · answered by magikal01 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's one thing to come to terms with something inside your own head....
it's another thing to have someone you cared for stand in front of you and tell you that they used you....
sorry, hon. But this, too, shall pass.
2007-07-19 20:21:54 · answer #4 · answered by lady_phoenix39 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The truth will set you free. Now close this chapter in your life.
2007-07-19 20:14:38 · answer #5 · answered by kim t 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you were in denial. and now that it's actually been said, you've come to realize that it's all true. and you can't deny it anymore.
2007-07-19 20:14:20 · answer #6 · answered by gymclasshero 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋