how do you cope when working with people that are rude?

Question

i even work with a neighbour, and she gets on great with the boss, so she gets all the hours to suit her kids, holidays school times etc, but if i ask to change my hours im told no, yet she just has to bat her eyelashes and mums the word. why are some people like this. to make it worse her kids and mine get on, but she always has time off to spend time with hers while im stuck doing all the shifts that she wont do. she changes her hours every week saying her babysitter is sick etc. would you go behind her back and let the boss know, or would you stay quiet

sorry did not realise i posted it here, am just so upset

mr help. im not great at that thats why i get all the **** y hours

brk. i dont know how to get on his good side. i just want to go in do my work get paid and come home, at every other aspect of my life im a fighter, but i need this job, so i tend to stay in the backround and stay quiet

steph j. have tried to say the shifts dont suit me, but he walks out of the office before i have the words out of my mouth, or he just pulls aface and tells me to get on with it, the problem is they all drink together after work, and have bbq etc, where as im rushing home to get dinners ready and what so i dont have time to interact outside working hours, besides they are all two faced so would not like to be part of their gang anyway

buggerlugs. i think you have hit the nail on the head thanks, im normally a very in your face person with everything else, but we all have one weekness, mine is my studit job, im nearly 43 so its not like i have a lot of options on the job front at the moment, just cant believe im letting them walk over me

oh slim ive thought ot that lol

thanks ct, noted

Answer 1

smile in other ways. Leave invisible footprints in your work that give you a small and innocent satisfaction, i'm sure you are smart enough for that. I don't know your job but when I thought I was being given the runaround I used to simply fantasise about seeing them get comuppance. A good example recently was this women who has been a complete cow to me at times as I was the new girl on the block and got the donkey work.
She drove a red vauxhaull cavalier. To my delight one day I read in the paper that the drivers of these cars were usually women and in terms of personal care they were considered the filthiest cars. I took great pride in innocently dropping it into conversation and her horror of her new status. It did not help with my work pattern but gives me a lovely private giggle everytime I see her.
Have a star for reminding me of that!

Answer 2

You already made your first impression on your boss. It will be hard to change what he thinks of you. You could try to be more assertive of your rights or look for another job. Threatening to leave might have value if the company really needs you.

Don't worry about your neighbor. She could be servicing the the boss if you know what I mean. Whether she does or doesn't it sure makes it a bit easier to accept her doings believing she's a cheap ho.

Anyways you sound like a strong enough person to take charge of your life. Lay on the pressure and see how that works. If you feel that you can do it find a better place of work.

Answer 3

Sometimes grief comes from the inability to accept situations. They say that kids can be cruel to each other but I have found that extends right into adulthood ... people can be fickle and irritating, can't they? The best thing here is to accept the situation, grit your teeth and simply don't let the situation grind you down. By truly accepting the crap will make it easier to cope with everyday .... just use your inner strength to see this situation for what it is and kick it into touch. You need the job, like we all probably do, make it work for you as best you can and you will be a lot happier. Then, when you are ready, move onto a different job and make that one work for you better. Life is never limited to what you do at the moment. Good luck ... x

Answer 4

No need to go behind her back. The boss already knows. The boss is the problem not her. A lot depends on your relationship with the boss, how much you can discuss. A lot depends on how much you are prepared to put up with. You can discuss in a friendly manner and get some result and then decide. You can discuss in a friendly mannner, get no result then decide. You can do nothing and accept the situation. You have choices. None right or wrong. Just choices. You decide. You are the boss in this.

Answer 5

You should tell the boss for sure. You sound a bit introvert to me, if that is accurate then you're the type of person that lets others walk all over you. I'm not saying that's a bad thing because introverts are usually the nicest people, but you have to learn to stand up for yourself. Your neighbour seems like an extrovert, she sees what she wants, goes for it and usually gets it. She also sounds selfish by getting time off to do the things she wants to do and not caring about you missing out. Treat this moment as a time to stand your ground and tell your boss what you just told the world. If the boss fobs you off then start looking for a new job but keep that quiet :)

Answer 6

I am sorry to hear you are having bother. A little bit of manners and politeness goes a long way and it doesn't even cost a penny. Well Dolly I think this won't get solved on its own and could end up a lot worse. I would tell the boss in the quiet for you own peace of mind. God knows where this might lead to. Keep yourself right anyway. I hope it gets sorted out real soon for you.

Answer 7

Hi, sounds like your boss has a crush on her. I am afraid under these circumstances I cannot see what you can do. I would certainly not say anything this would probably backfire on you. I see where you are coming from but I wonder if you wait and see he will eventually cotton on, especially if in the near future he expects his 'affections' so to speak to be returned. If so, then watch the backlash. I wish I could think of something, this is a very tricky situation, I have seen it before and if I am correct there is certainly going to be big personal trouble for her soon. Hang on in there. Good luck hun.

Answer 8

if you keep doing what you keep doing you,ll get what you keep getting. trite i know, but you have to draw the line or there will be no change. first you need to decide what you want, and to plan how to achieve it, changing shifts for example, your asked to change shift, ... answer, yes, no problem of course i will, then, oh dam i cant i have to, take johnny to the doctor i have an apointment, dam i am so sorry !!! then walk away b4 you can be challanged, if you,d only asked earlier.. blah blah. start with a small victory and work your way up. your neigbour has trained your boss, you need to start training him too. as for going, try this one day,an hour b4 you finish go to him and say youve got a heavy period and theres no towels in the loo and you need to go buy some etc,etc.. dousnt work for me cos i,m a guy !!! changing shifts is a bit dodgy as your hours are contractual. but theres no reason why you should change shifts for some one elses benefit, the up side is you can use a shift change as a bargining tool, ok i,ll change shifts as a favour to you but i need next friday off, answer the question with one of your own, nothing for nothing !!! one other option is give me his address and i,ll send the boys around !!!! dont get mad get even !!!

Answer 9

I feel sorry for you. Maybe it is time to look for employment elsewhere.
I think it is pointless sneaking on your neighbour about her telling porkies to get time off especially as she seems to favour her over you.
However I would mention to your boss that you are not happy about this obvious favouritism and that you would like to be treated more fairly. Mention to her that it's unfair that she can change shifts weekly whilst you are stuck with shifts you cannot do.
If you belong to a union then use them.
However I would start looking for another job.

Answer 10

Every job is going to have it's bad side, rude people should be expected . I know what your talking about because I lost count of the times I filled in for someone pretending to be sick. I would and did go behind their back and gave them just as much trouble as they so kindly gave me. 14 years at a factory and left working second and then filling in on third shift,
after clocking out I gave the manager, and the one above him
a mouthful, I was mad enough to flatten their tires when I left!!