Super depressed...women only please?

Question

I'm now 15 weeks pregnant, my fiance left when was 12 weeks pregnant for work in mexico city. He sent an email explaning that the person who promised him a job lied, and he has no work, or money to write, or call or to eat, he says he's lost 12 lbs since he's been there. I put 50 dollars credit on his phone but every time I call it kicks me to the voice mail and says it's full. I write him about 3 times a day, he borrowed a few pesos to send me that email but all the emails i've sent him are telling him that i have money to buy his plane ticket to come home, but I won't buy it until I talk to him or receive an email from him. Am I correct for doing this? Am I stupid for even thinking he's going to return to me and our baby? I have his mothers phone number but I haven't phoned her yet, should I? My mind is racing a million miles a minute---and I don't need any smart A$$es either please, I'm severly depressed and this is not a healthy thing during pregnancy...can someone help me???

I've even broken into tears at work a few times, this is affecting me in a way I do not like nor understand, He was so excited about the baby, but now I don't know any more :-(

I can buy it, but i won't have any way of getting a hold of him to tell him what time the flight leaves...these tickets are non-refundable they're from AeroMexico

:-(

I am an american citizen thank you, I have great health insurance, I am delivering at Scripps Memorial La Jolla, and his mother is in Cuba---I doubt she'll try to take my baby---thanks though.

I knew he was poor when I met him, he's from cuba and had only been in mexico for a few months, he's really poor---every time we went out I usually paid or if he had a few dollars he would pitch in---trust me when i say this---he had 3 pairs of pants and a few shirts he would alternate----I don't know if he's telling the truth---I don't know any more I'm so lonely and sad---sometimes i feel like i can't breathe....

Thank you Jennifer---that was my plan to buy a 1 way ticket and bring him home I told him several times before he left that his place was with me and our baby, and that I had a bad feeling about him leaving--he left any way--he's like the kid you tell "Don't touch the stove sweetie it's hot.." and they touch it any way...

Answer 1

He sounds like he's avoiding you and you know what? You don't need his dumb @$$. This baby is going to make you a stronger and better person. All you have to do is promise that you're going to be dedicated to this tiny little beautiful person who will love you endlessly.

As for calling his mother... what have you got to lose? It sounds to me like you're looking for closure and that could possibly be the way to get it.

I'm sorry you're going through all of this. Things will get better as long as you don't give up. I know at times you will get frustrated but you will have good things to come you once and for all.

Answer 2

Well honestly hun, I don't really know if he is lying or being truthful. How long after he got there did he send you that email? because if he's waited 3 weeks, then that could be saying something. Also the fact that he never answers your phone calls when you call is not exactly setttling. I think that since you love him, and if you trust him, then you were right in telling him you would buy his plane ticket. I think you should call his mother.. are you on good terms with her? If so, then hope that she can clue you into something. I'm sorry I can't really help... guys do tend to run though in pregnancies.. at least there is a high rate. i don't personally know your fiance so i wouldn't know.. but i would think that if he really wanted to get home then Somehow he could. you need some sort of sure fire way also if you send the money, that you know it gets to him. i'm sorry that you have to deal with this. he's horrible for keeping you waiting around though. i really hope all works out for you! things will be okay in the end... if it's not okay, it is not the end. Be strong. it already sounds like you are. i know you can get through this.

Answer 3

Oh honey. I hope he is telling you the truth. I can tell you care very much for him, and I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now. Maybe try calling his mother, it can't hurt can it? Maybe she can offer you some advice, or even a kind voice.

I hate to tell you this, Darlin, but he may have intentionally given you the slip. I really hope it's not true. I really hope he is doing everything he can to come home to you. A girl as sweet and trusting and caring as you really deserves to have a wonderful love and father for her child.
If you are still unhappy, and you need some comfort, a religious figure (rabbi, preist, pastor, whomever is appropriate for your faith) may be able to offer some counsel and advice... and when the baby comes, they might be able to help you find some other aid (like people to help you care for the baby if you have to go to work, etc.)

There are people in the world who want to help you and be kind to you. I hope you find them all.

Answer 4

I could not help writing to you. I know you asked for women only.
Your priority right now is your baby. I know it is hard not to think, but if you have no replies there is nothing you can do, except to hire professional help to look for him.You may find out something you do not like though. Uncertainty, on the other hand, is aw full... but unavoidable.... cannot tell you what to do here.
Think of your baby. Try to get on with your life and devote yourself to the pregnancy and to the care of your baby when he/she is born. Relay on your family and friends for support when you need to talk or cry.
I wish the best of luck to you and your baby and that this situation end well for you.

Answer 5

I'm really sorry to tell you this, but you have been 'royally dumped' ... he 'left' not for a job, but to go to a country that won't care that he left you. It's time for you to FORGET about him, spend the money on baby stuff to get ready, and to be sure that you will have a 'good delivery' in a proper hospital ... even if that means you must go on welfare to do it. CALL TOMORROW to find out where you need to go, and what papers you'll need ... then GO ... I'll be praying for you. And don't call his 'mom' ... she may want to 'fight for custody' because she thinks you are 'too young' ... or too stupid to raise the baby 'properly' on your own.

Answer 6

You poor thing! you need answers now! There is only one solution to this problem, you need to call his mother and get this thing figured out.
If he really is in a desperate situation, then offer to buy him a one way ticket back, and leave all this in the past and both of you need to get on with your lives.

Answer 7

i'd call his mom but under the premiss that you're worried about him.i wouldn'y tell about your worries of him deliberately not returning just that you haven't heard from him and want to make sure he's all right. this may give you an indication as to weather he's coming back or not. hope all works out for the best and have a healthy baby.

Answer 8

My first step would be to call his mother. Maybe she will be honest with you. Im not saying hes lying, but if he is, maybe his mom will tell you the truth. It sounds like youve got some drama girl! So sorry for you! Keep your head up maybe all this will get better in time!

Answer 9

First and foremost, you need to take care of yourself and the baby. Second, call his mother and see if she has heard from him or anything. Don't buy the plane ticket yet, he may be using you.

Answer 10

he knew you were pregnant and he left. are you sure he doesn't have a wife in mexico? you don't seem to know him very well. yea you could call his mother and see what is going on. maybe she could shed some light on things. i wouldnt send him any money as he chose to go there. he could be using you, so you will give him money. just be careful.