My wife and I split up a couple of months ago. She immediately moved in with her boyfriend. It's been about six weeks and I think I'm ready to start dating again.
2007-07-19 10:50:04 · 24 answers · asked by unassailed 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
1-2 MONTHS FOR EVERY YEAR OF MARRIAGE in order for real healing to occur. You can date sooner of course and have little trouble... BUT, if the intent is to start a serious relationship, you'll have very little real substance to offer someone as long as there is emotional baggage. This is why the 1st serious relationship following a divorce rarely works out-- the divorced person moved too quickly.
Most people have a lot of learning and healing to do prior to starting a relationship-- and then again, most people don't really know when they're ready, but are pushed into it by others (as noted in most answers here) or because they feel they should be out there in the action, before the lessons have been learned.
Remember, if the lessons aren't learned (i.e., what part did you play in the downfall of the marriage, what could you do differently next time, etc.), then you're doomed to repeat them in the next serious relationship.
Also remember, one reason for a higher divorce rate among 2nd and 3rd marriages is b/c the lessons weren't learned and the person's "picker (how you pick and who you pick)" is either broken of damaged.
Keep in mind that >90% of those who responded here have never been down this rode.
Hope this helps!
2007-07-19 10:55:17 · answer #1 · answered by Wisdom??? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am currently going through a divorce and I started dating about 2 months after the split. But honestly, I think I should have stayed single to really figure out what I want out of a relationship.
2007-07-19 10:53:34 · answer #2 · answered by Going to NY 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When you feel you are ready to. After my divorce I waited about 3 months before I ventured out again and started dating. My ex on the other hand didn't waste no time.
2007-07-19 10:55:01 · answer #3 · answered by Lil's Mommy 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The appropriate amount of time to begin dating after a divorce is whenever you feel you are ready.
2007-07-19 10:54:47 · answer #4 · answered by Julius C 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think people should wait about a year before dating.You are still carrying a lot of emotional baggage and it is not fair to the person you would be dating.I am also divorced and I wanted to jump right back into the dating scene.I waited and I'm glad I did.
2007-07-19 10:56:49 · answer #5 · answered by Sid 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is different for everyone when you think you are emotionally ready to handle another relationship. You may not want to gage what your ex-wife is doing and get in to dating scene just cause she all ready moved in with someone. You will know if you are ready . Good Luck !!
2007-07-19 11:05:22 · answer #6 · answered by richard s 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Really! are you sure you're ready, or are you just trying to prove to her that you too have moved on. You start when you feel in your heart that you are ready to take the step in your life, that step with out her. Whatever you do, don't rush into anything.
2007-07-19 10:53:19 · answer #7 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
whatever works for you - there is no magical number for how long it takes you to be ready to move forward. i think as long as you don't have any old relationship baggage, like still carry feelings for her or have anger issues about it, then you're ready. you're ready if your heart is open and fully able to give someone else that love and also accept it.
2007-07-19 10:54:56 · answer #8 · answered by needstoknow 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I went through this exact same scenario in April. three years ago she had an affair and we tried to reconcile, obviously to no avail. So my answer to you my friend is she has moved on and so should you. If you felt some sort of responsibility to her and waited, let it go it's time for you to come first. Good Luck!
2007-07-19 11:00:07 · answer #9 · answered by mario j 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Some people beleive that there is a certain amount of time they should wait. The answer is: When you are ready.
2007-07-19 10:56:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anony 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋