I need some opinions on dating a divorced man with kids,?

Question

three months ago I met this guy off an internet dating service and really hit it off right off the start, but then it seemed that he kinna pulled away from me and I wasn't sure if it was all in my head or if he really just wasn't into me or busy...he has two kids which he has thurs to sat afternoon and works in sales, so he's away alot anyways. I know he was married inthe past and 4 years ago his ex cheated on him. I kinna said to him that I didn't know if he was really into me and if he even had the time for me, but he said that he wanted to make time for me. I then went away on vacation for about three weeks after seeing him sporadically for a month and when I came back I noticed that he had been on the same internet dating service (he denied it at first) I basicaly told him that if he's interested in me that i just wasn't into seeing someone who had to chat with other women. We have really hit it off now, but I'm scared to get close and I sense that he is too...am I paranoid?

Answer 1

This could almost be my ex. Please think twice before getting involved with a man who has the need for many women in his life. If he actually thought you were the one he would not have been on that site again. Also dating a man who has children that either live with him or come for weekends, will only bring grief. Been there and done it..

Answer 2

I met my husband online and was married before and has kids. we have been together now for almost 10 years and married. You need to understand that he has to take it kinda slow because of kids and there reaction. Also he is really busy. If he is worth it to you, then you will follow his lead. If he is interested he will do what he can. But if you are technically not in a relationship then you can't tell him if he can or can't talk or chat to other women. Take it as it comes and don't be in a rush. He won't be after being burned by his ex and he has kids to think about which will be more important than you for a while as it should be. Are you prepared for that if not then don't stick around because as you get to know the kids and they like you, you hurt them if you don't want that role and are not willing to that involved. Also keep in mind that being a step parent is very very very hard. So play games and be genuine.

Answer 3

no you are not paranoid. first of all, takes more then a couple months to get to know someone, so understandable you would be standoffish at first, cause you are still getting to know him. second, he doesn't sound very serious. sounds like he is still looking in case it A: doesn't work out with you, B: is wanting to keep you around till he finds someone he likes better. if he was up front and said, i want to get to know you, but i am also wanting to date other women. then you would have the choice up front and not feel like you are being decieved. which is also reason to want to step back. keep stepping back a bit and see what happens. cause you don't want to invest a great deal and then just get hurt. cause if he's this way and is only a couple of months, how is he going to be a year from now? not a great impression he's leaving on you. as far as the kids go, doesn't sound like theres any issue there at all. i would not believe anything he really said about the divorce with his ex. take it with a grain of salt.

i was involved with a man who had kids. he said his ex wife was paranoid and hounded him and accused him of cheating all the time and it eventually broke them up. our relationship ended cause of his cheating. so, they will tell you what they want cuase you have no idea on the history. irregardless, doesn't really mean much what happened in their relationship, what your focus is anyways is on your relationship now with him.

Answer 4

I can tell you this for positive; anymore there is no rule book that governs anything, it has been thrown away. Chaos rules, and every situation seems unique. I wouldn't say yes or no; just do that which seems right to you and procede with him on a very open basis; fully communicate on all matters to the max. I mean full and open communications from both of you. I have been married for 37 years and have one hell of a time communicating with my wife; I have come to detest organized religion and the greed for money and many things, but it is too late to turn back the hands of time.

Answer 5

SLOW DOWN.. a couple of months is just a couple of months... ... nothing more. With your vacation, the traveling, and the kids, this thing can't happen over-night like when we were younger. A little apprehension is probably a good idea for both of you at this stage. Don't over analyze it.

Answer 6

Jeez, don't pressure the guy - if he is into you, and you are into him, then start building something solid. If you are both too afraid to get any kind of real relationship going, then leave each other alone. Chatting on the computer is something that can simply be mindless and enjoyable - it does not have to be about cyber sex and infidelity.

Answer 7

Relationships take time to build start off as friends and see how it progresses. Both of you have been hurt so it is not easy to trust right off, things take time. Take is slow and easy and see if something develops.

Answer 8

You have to remember that you meet him on a dating site and are not seriously dating. Once you both decide to date each other only then it would be an issue.

Answer 9

He's probably gun shy right now. He may want to commit to a relationship, but he may be scared because of what happened in the past ("baggage").

Answer 10

be afraid, be very very afraid...! don't go any furthur with this, you are setting yourself up for failure. trust me, i'm a step mother and i had a step mother. if it's not his interest in other women, it will be the kids that bring you down. for your own sake, get out before you get in too deep.