I am currently going thru a divorce. My husband and I split because he was always gone in the marriage and my dumb butt cheated, which I completely regret! I am now in a relationship with a great guy and my soon to be ex is dating other woman but for some reason we cant stop thinking about each other.
He tells me that he misses me and we always talk about the great times we had with our children and the times we had when we were together. He was my partner in crime and we worked very well as a team, but for some reason greed pushed us off track.
What does this mean? Does it mean that I should try to work it out with him? I have changed for the better and he promises to change his old stubborn ways but I am scared to let go of my current relationship and work on my marriage. I am scared that he says he will change but doesnt. What do you think I should do?
2007-07-19 10:17:00 · 12 answers · asked by Going to NY 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We have been married for almost 7 years and we have 2 children.
2007-07-19 10:37:49 · update #1
This is something a preacher told me, "Even though the feelings stop, it does not mean you stop loving. Turn to the person you love and tell them, "There is nothing you say or do that would make me stop loving you."
Get eback with him
Love him with all your life
Forget the things you did in the past, and pretty soon he will too.
2007-07-19 10:23:17 · answer #1 · answered by Issy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm almost always an advocate for fixing the marriage. But, it has to be all or nothing. If you want to work on your marriage, you both have to end the relationships you are in. You can't effectively focus on your husband and your relationship when you've got your back up waiting in wings. It's not fair to any of you.
My suggestion would be to end the relaionship with your boyfriend and find a good marriage counselor to work on your relationship.
2007-07-19 17:22:15 · answer #2 · answered by Joy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you still love your husband then you need to really think it over before getting the divorce. If you can't picture the rest of your life without him then you need to let go of the man you are seeing and work it out. Don't be scared of may happen. Go into it with an open mind & heart then no matter what happens you will know that you gave it your all & will have ne regrets.
2007-07-19 17:22:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing that comes into my head is that YOU say you changed so don't you think you can give your husband a chance to do the same thing? It's obvious that you guys love each other. You are still being greedy and thinking only about yourself when you say that you are afraid to leave the other man. So get over yourself and if you really love your husband, come on, there was a reason that you made a vow to love this man til death do you part. If I were you, I would give it a chance. You are lucky he is even considering thinking about you after you cheated on him.
2007-07-19 17:23:31 · answer #4 · answered by luvmrtnz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could just mean that you got used to having each other around, and now the other one isn't there. What is familiar is comfortable. There is an ancient Chinese saying that goes something like, "If you took a drink out of a carton of milk and it was sour........would you put it back in the frig and go back a week later for another drink thinking that it would taste better?".
2007-07-19 17:23:02 · answer #5 · answered by vadtrav 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if you are both thinking of each other, it would be worth a try to go to a marriage counselor and see if you can make it work. How long were you married, do you have kids? Does it look like more work than you are willing to put in?
2007-07-19 17:23:13 · answer #6 · answered by Pamela Z 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actions speak much louder than words. SHOW each other how you feel about each other. Perhaps you both merely like variety in your life. LIke the saying goes, $hit or get off the pot. Make a decision, and stop playing games with each other, + the other parties you are both involved with.
2007-07-19 17:26:23 · answer #7 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just go listen to the song "Even Now" by Barry Manilow and realize that you need to move on. You're forgetting the problems and only remembering the good stuff, which is fine, but don't let it lure you into something stupid.
2007-07-19 17:20:43 · answer #8 · answered by Old Fat Bald Guy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it simply means you f'cked up and you ruined what was apparently a good relationship. His heart just hasn't caught up to speed yet, so he still feels what he always felt for you. He didn't betray and cheat, so his feelings are intact.
This is why you don't cheat....you screw up and you lose important people and things in your life.
Oh well.
2007-07-19 17:26:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you should see a therapist with him and talk things out there with the therapist and see how much he is willing to change and if its worth giving up your current relationship. i always say, our eyes are placed in the front because we are not meant to look backwards*
2007-07-19 17:22:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋