How do you handle it when a child in morning group tells you, the teacher, they "love you"? You don't want to

Question

stifle their emotions, but this is class and the 1st grade kids are there to learn.
The 1st grade teacher I'm observing just looked at the girl and said nothing.
She is an excellent teacher, very disciplined and structured, and she provides a great learning environment.
Is this the best way to handle it?
I would have liked her to have said something positive but deflecting, rather than pointedly be silent, but what would that be?
I want to be a pre-K teacher, is there something that would be appropriate for a pre-K teacher to say that might not work by first grade?
Is there a listing somewhere of appropriate punishments and rewards for a pre-K class? Losing recess time and sitting alone during lunchtime, as well as sitting in a chair in time-out for 5 minutes are about the only ones I know, besides calling out a student's name and shaking my head or putting my finger to my lips for quiet.

Much appreciated!

Answer 1

It's normal for kids this age to say they love their teacher. We are one of their caregivers. I don't think it was a good idea for the teacher to ignore the child who told her they loved her. If she did not want to tell the child she loved him back she could have simply said, "Why thank you, John! How nice of you." He would have been acknowledged and positively reinforced and she would not have had to say I love you back.

With regards to discipline, children at that age don't need a lot for them to behave. Warnings are good, calling parents, time-outs. Positive reinforcements like gold stars or privileges around the classroom work, too. One thing that I will discourage is the use of candy. It's against the rules in some districts and can be dangerous if you don't know the child's diet well.

Answer 2

I have been a teaching assistant for 22 years. My response to all the children of any grade telling me they love me is,"I love you too Sweetie". I think the teacher was rude to not acknowledge that the child had spoken to her. She may be an excellent teacher, but short on human qualities. She leaves me cold. This is the age where love is so important. You will not believe how many child have called me mommy at school. I always tell them I'm their school mommy. Their parents have appreciated the care I have given their children through the years. Some of the first children I worked with now have children of their own and now I'm like a grandma to them.
You asked about rewards and punishments. One Pre K teacher I worked with would cut out a different thing on the dye cast machine each week for each child. We usually did like apples when school started, then pumpkins for Halloween, Christmas trees for December and so on. She put them on a bulletin board and if the children broke a rule she would get the hole punch and punch a hole in the one with their name on it. We took them down on Friday of each week and if they had no holes in their item they went to the treasure chest. Also their parents knew when they went home how their behavior was for the week. They tried so hard not to get a hole in their things. Honey as you start your teaching career the main thing is to be CONSISTANT. If you say you will or won't do something you have to follow through. Always be tough, but caring. GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!

Answer 3

Just say, "Thank you, sweetie. I love you too." That is not inappropriate. Children need to be valued.
Instead of thinking about punishments, explore some ways to head it off in the first place. Make sure you know your class well. Read their cumulative folders. Look up differentiated instruction methods (google Carol Ann Thomlinson) and try to keep students engaged with meaningful work that they can be successful at completing.
As for rewards, children that age love stickers, pencils, and other small trinkets. Praise is often the best reward of all.
Good luck!

Answer 4

In response to "I love you" I always say "Awww, Johnny, you're so sweet" or a simple "Thank you, Amy!" works great too. That way you're recognizing their feelings without being overly emotional.

About the discipline, time-outs are widely accepted for the pre-k level. Also, you catch more bees with honey... positive reinforcement of good behavior often works better than punishment at this age.

Good luck with your new profession!

Answer 5

I had a crush on my second grade teacher. Yes, I was in love with her....but I didn't really know why.

Well, now I know why. I admired her........and that was a form of love according to a second grader.

Love comes in all sizes, depths and styles. The most important thing to do is communicate those different styles of love and loving so there is no confusion that the word love only means sexual gratification.

I hope my explantion helps. We love you for asking this question.

Answer 6

I teach first grade an am lucky enough to have also been told by a student, "I love you." It is very natural for children so young to feel love for a teacher or other influential adult. I usually reply, "Oh, I love you right back!" with a big smile and then continue on with the lesson/activity.

Answer 7

My response would be (and has been) "and I love you just like I love ALL of you!" It makes the whole class feel good and doesn't set that one child aside. (Btw, I teach 4th grade and it has happened in my class.)

Answer 8

Why not say something like, "Thank you John, I love you too." At that age they are not thinking about sexual love. A lot of kids at that age still love their teachers.