My marriage is going down quick!! HELP!!?

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Member since: July 06, 2007
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Blah!
S My marriage is going down quick!!! HELP!!!?
my husband keeps saying if we dont do something our marraige is not going to last, when I ask him what he thinks is wrong with it he the only thing he brings up is how I get mad when he goes out. Everytime that is the same answer. I only get mad because he always comes back at like 3:30 in the morning and he only goes with his friends that are SINGLE! What should I do!!

Answer 1

This sounds like a rough situation you're in:-\ It sounds like you need to sit down with him and ask if you guys can really have a heart to heart. You say he needs to be home more, and come home at a more reasonable time. He says you need to chill out. See if you can find a compromise. Maybe you could agree on a "night with the buddies" night for both of you, in which you plan ahead of time that THIS is the night that he gets to hang out with his friends, and you get to hang out with yours. Maybe you could agree on a more reasonable time for both of you to be at home, asleep, for the sake of both you guys' health (and your emotional health). Maybe you can make a two-way agreement: "I practice chilling out a bit. You practice getting home by midnight." The key to working through these things is to look for *options*. No matter who you're with, there will be times when you feel like giving up. Both of you will at some point. The important thing is, you made a vow together, "till death do us part," and you need to put some effort into keeping that vow. This situation is going to take sacrifice on BOTH parts. I hope you're able to work this out and find a good middle ground. I hope you can find some peace about it, and I hope that he proves to be trustworthy even with his single guyfriends. Good luck in finding that middle ground:) I hope everything works out:)

Answer 2

Sorry to say, your marriage isn't going to work. It's hard to say and I know it's hard to read but if he's only out with other single men, they are with other woman. And if he's doing the same thing all the time (coming in at the same time) he's got another life. You getting mad that he's going out is an excuse. No woman or man puts their friends before their love ones. He doesn't truly love you, you just take care of him. Leave, get over the hurt and do better next time. There are good men out there who will respect you. I'm sure he loves you but he's not in love with you. Don't let 10 years go by and kick yourself in the butt trying to make this work and in your heart you know it's not. You just love him. You can still love him and find better.Your friends and family may not want to hurt you so they'll never tell you to leave. But from a stranger, I can say I've seen this to many times. Just leave. Get your own place. Believe me, you'll still see him, have sex and get money from time to time. And when you're ready to settle down again, make sure the man loves you and isn't living a double life. And I sure he did this before you got married so he's not gonna stop now.

good luck

Answer 3

Then tell him he is the root cause of the marriage going down. He is a married man and does not need to be hanging out at bars\clubs with single men. If you really want to know what he is doing, I would follow him to the club and keep a watch on him. Don't let him know that you are there.

Also I would try to go with him. Say hey I want to go with you, I feel like dancing and I want a dance partner. See how he reacts to that. If he doesn't want you to go with him then something is up and it probably isn't a good thing.

If he is cheating on you then he is going to try to blame you for the marriage falling apart, because he feels guilty. Don't let him run all over you like that. You need to stand up and let him know that you are both in this marriage together and if he wants this to work then he needs to be at home helping you work on this marriage.

I hope this info helps if you need more advice then email me.

Answer 4

You should find some single grilfriends and hang out as well. Coming in at 3:30 is a issue, especially if he does it often. If it is a deal breaker and he refuses to change you may have a real problem. If he only goes out occassionally instead of arguing ask if he could come home a bit earlier. I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 5

Maybe you need to compromise a little. I am not saying that it is alright for him to go out all the time but if you give a little, so might he. Maybe you should suggest that it is alright to go out a certain number of times but he needs to be home the rest of the time. You want to make it as fair as possible. Rather than nag or argue every time somethings goes down, ask him why he feels the need to go out all the time. Ask questions, without arguing, and maybe you will come up with the root of his problem. He needs to understand that he is married to you and not his friends. If it continues and he doesn't want to give up his youth, maybe it's time for you to move on to something better. Good Luck!!!

Answer 6

He is out of line, also manipulating as hell. Marriage counseling is the best route. Seek help or I am sure its over . I wonder what he is doing out till 3:30 am ? Hum mm... what do you think ? Don't just get mad do something about this . You don't have time to sit and ponder it's time to take action. What do you really want to happen ? Be good to yourself first. Search your heart and search your soul . To thine own self be true.

Answer 7

Frequency. How often does he bypass out? a million or 2 cases/week or a million or 2 cases/month? What do you experience you may stay with, and what does he want? Is there a lifelike middle floor you may the two stay with? have confidence -- if he's no longer cheating, then he probable feels which you do no longer have confidence him. If he's cheating, is divorce the only answer? Do you nonetheless love him sufficient to artwork by way of the themes? do you have the want to make your marriage what it as quickly as grow to be? especially circumstances i think of couples do no longer attempt to artwork at their marriage sufficient and picture that divorce is the only way out. Freedom -- whilst marriage is a partnership, love ability giving your better half some freedom too. My spouse is going out better than I do -- I have confidence her whilst she says she is going out together with her friends. in case your husband thinks you're attempting to administration him that would quite be inflicting him to bypass out greater. talk and improve an settlement -- I propose you 2 talk approximately this (no longer whilst he's in simple terms heading out the door or whilst he in simple terms got here domicile) and not whilst he's concentrated on some thing else (like television or the newspaper). attempt going for a walk after a advantageous supper and bring it up then. i think of you may desire to come again to an settlement on a lifelike frequency of ways often he is going out, a lifelike time to come again domicile -- enable him understand that as quickly as he maintains to be out previous due that the reason you're mad is by using fact you hardship approximately him particularly than which you're attempting to administration him. it would desire to be powerful to place your strategies down on paper earlier you talk over with him. it particularly is going to help you to be based and stay concentrated on coming to a answer throughout the time of a communicate which will little question be emotional. I clearly desire you the main suitable on your in working this out.

Answer 8

go out yourself and stay out with your friends that are single. Let him see what it is like. If that doesn't work then either a divorce is the answer or find a hot guy and have him come over for wild sex while hubby is out partying. good luck.

Answer 9

Do you have reason to be jealous? is he cheating? is he going to bars or strip clubs. Is he more respectful of his buddies than you. Do you get to go out? Maybe you should, see how he likes it. You need to discuss what is acceptable to you for this relationship and tell him. If he is not willing to compromise then I would say time to move on

Answer 10

He have another woman, the only reason why he's getting mad because he's trying to start a fire, he want to heat you up so that you can leave and he can have his sweety,