Here is another poem...I just feel like writing Comments?

Question

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I'm lost and confused,
A mouse in a maze,
My cheese is replaced,
With hot molten lead.
Down deep in my soul,
Lost in the sorrow of me,
I escape by mere inches,
But it's too late for me.
I try and I try to sublimate
My love and desire,
My need to find a mate.
Deep down with despair.
Hold my life hostage,
To the pain and the hate,
I throw caution to the wind,
Why bother, too late.
Depression brings fear,
Please silence the quiet,
That rings in my ears.
I'm tired and bored,
Standing still on the run,
Sleep takes me over,
Can't stand the roar.

Answer 1

Everytime I feel like Sh!t and cant seem to get what I want to say onto paper, I find I dont have to, because you've done it for me. Thank You, good poem.

Answer 2

I like poetry, but this one leaves me wanting. Sorry, it's not good, regardless of what others may tell you. You are a better writer than this, and you know it. This sounds just the way you described it: you were bored and decided to write some thoughts down...and? What is the point of the poem? If you whine about a situation without having a potential solution, it's called a "whine". You're whining and not even doing a good job at it. Again, you are a better poet than this when you set your mind to it.

I'm not just being mean, I'm telling you something you probably already know, but I doubt you'd get this level of honesty from most who read this stuff and can't tell a good poem from mindless rant.

Keep writing, you have good poetry in you waiting to get out...let's see it.

Answer 3

Depressing poems is hard to do. But you have a gift to do it, and I'm very impressed when you write like that. I like the poem.

Marilyn (your angel of San Juan)

Answer 4

That is a good poem. And i am glad that you like writing. You are my favorite poet. You write the best poems i have ever read. You are my idol for poetry... no joke. Thanx, you make me feel like i can do better in my poetry and writing. Thanx and good job!

Answer 5

True, an emotional collection of the effects of a life shattered.

Answer 6

I like some of your other ones better. Seemed to flow smoother.

Answer 7

wrote in a short time
this was still mine
and if you cant tell why
dont say that i lie

Answer 8

I thought it was good.
Some parts flowed better than others.
But I still liked it.

Kara

Answer 9

I liked this poem alot.It;s deep and has lots of hard feelings .I like the part that says Please silence the quite 'That rings in my ears.I really liked it all .,,,

Answer 10

I thought it was deep.