my husband made an inappropriate comment about my ob today after the appointment (he came with me). he mentioned how small she was in stature then said "good thing i'm married, or i'd break her in half from the inside out"....
i'm pretty friggin upset. he says he was just joking, but now i either don't want him to come to any more appointments & feel weird about things; i'm considering switching to a new OB (since switching husbands is a bit too complicated).
would you get a new OB if you were me?
(i was already considering maybe going to a birthing center anyhow)
2007-07-19 08:30:19 · 22 answers · asked by it's me again 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
btw, it was the first visit
2007-07-19 08:36:29 · update #1
he said it after we got home from the visit.
2007-07-19 08:37:32 · update #2
yeah, his age is starting to show (i'm 5 yrs older)... it didn't at first but now i'm wondering how i didn't see his immaturity sooner.
2007-07-19 09:30:26 · update #3
[actually, probably because i'm not, emotionally, the most mature person myself. but hey, i try!]
2007-07-19 09:31:16 · update #4
Considering what your OB will be doing for you, I think you should feel completely comfortable with her in every way. If for ANY reason you don't, whether its because of her or your husband, you should switch. What's happening is too important to have to deal with feeling uncomfortable around her too.
2007-07-19 08:35:33 · answer #1 · answered by ME 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your husband about how this made you feel, then smack him one good time for me for being such an insensitive pig. Then talk to your OB. She was innocent in the act, and doesnt deserve to lose money over your husband being a pig. Let her know of your concerns. I would maybe suggest not letting your husband come to a few of the next appointments until, you feel comfortable again. He's not missing much anyways. It's really all about how YOU feel. If you are still uncomfortable after a few visits, then I guess change OB's. But its not recommended, as the one you have already knows your medical history, and patterns throughout the pregnancy.
2007-07-19 08:37:01 · answer #2 · answered by •°¤Lauren¤°• 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok so he didn't make this comment to her did he or where she could hear it?? If not, then i wouldn't worry about it, it's your emotions going wild. Your husband isn't going anywhere...he may be married but not dead, he probably found her attractive and i see nothing wrong with that...atleast he's open enough to say it in front of you instead of hiding it.
Now the comment he made is a little out there, but men will be men.
The most important thing is does she give good care to you? do you trust her? If those answers are no then switch, but i see no reason to switch because you're jealous he finds her attractive.
2007-07-19 08:37:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband made an inappropriate comment about the stature of your OB, not her abilities or credibility. If he was hanging with his guy friends, the comment would just be considered trash talk, but because he made it to you, I would ask him why he thought that was even remotely appropriate? I would only switch OB's if you think there will be another round of trash talk later down the line, chances are that he was nervous and/or awkward being in such a 'female' situation and had to insert foot in mouth, oh I mean, maleness somehow.... and babbled something inappropriate.
2007-07-19 08:36:47 · answer #4 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If only men were engineered to think before they speak...
Anyway, while I would be a little ticked at my husband too, I wouldn't change OB's unless you are not comfortable with her. It was only your 1st visit so you've got time to decide. However, it's likely you will not be happy visiting this OB any time your husband is present since he has created this situation. You're going to be making a lot of visits to her, so if think you are going to be uncomfortable in any way, go ahead and make the change.
Good Luck with your pregnancy and congratulations!
2007-07-19 08:47:09 · answer #5 · answered by Proud Mommy 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would leave my husband home!
The best thing you can do for you & your baby is be totally comfortable & cofident with you doctor. If you are not then you should switch. If you are not 100% comfortable with or do not trust your dr. 100% your pregnancy & birth will be a 1000x more difficult.
If you have a good birth center near by with an excellent midwife or dr. I suggest checking into it. I had my babies at a very "open minded" hospital with a midwife, but many hospitals aren't as good as this one. I have heard many wonderful things about birth centers. Ask for refrences from patients who have had babies there!
-Mom of 5
2007-07-19 08:42:29 · answer #6 · answered by T 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would get a new OB theres others out there that know just as much. This will take some stress off of you. As far as my husband I would make sure that he knew how much it botherd me to hear him say something like that, and if he ever came up with something like that again i would start thinking about a divorce. Good Luck!!
2007-07-19 08:42:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you feel as though your Dr is a good Dr or you have history no I dont think you should get a new ob .. Me and my b/f joke like that but thats just us so I never take it like that but if thats something yall dont do or if it made you that uncomfortable then I say your husband should be more respectful but at this point if u dont feel comfortable then more than likely you are going to have to get a new ob. is there any reason you dont trust your husband cause i dont think just that one comment would disturb me. sounds like he was joking i dont see htat your husband would tell you that if he meant it..
2007-07-19 08:42:54 · answer #8 · answered by jus*1*more 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I were you I would of probally smacked my husband!LOL....but honestly what really matters here is how you feel. Think that this OB will be going threw alot with you....will you really be comftorable? If the answer is No than get a new one or with ur other plan of going to a birthing center.
2007-07-19 08:44:14 · answer #9 · answered by chiquita 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are upset just because of hormones. I'm pissed for you and I wasn't even there! Give me your address...I'll come smack him around for ya!
Anyway, after you make your husband pay for his comment, you need to think about how much you like your doc. I love my obgyn. She is awesome. I met her when my SIL had her 3rd son and thought to myself, "I'm seeing her when I have a baby!"
So, it would take something very serious for me to switch. But I would make my hubby go to every appt with me, spoil me rotten to make up for the comment, and swear to never say anything like that again.
Now, if you think there may be more to his comment than the stupid testosterone driven need to say something "manly" in a "girly" situation (like you think he's really into her???), then the whole switching husbands thing is an idea you might want to look at again!
2007-07-19 08:48:21 · answer #10 · answered by ladybug 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋