i had a gastic bypass 4 years ago and is it true a lot of women leave there husbands because now they know they do not have to settle and they have confidence. i am just tired of hearing my husband say he wishes i did not have this surgery he would like the old person back. i like the new me i do not let him push me around like he use to and i stand up for my self (sometimes) i have thought about leaving him he is very verbally abusive somewhat physically abusive we have kids i just wanted to know if anyone else has delt with this
2007-07-19 08:28:06 · 11 answers · asked by jnc 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There are two issues here. One is how you feel about yourself (better now that you're thin) and the other is how he treats you (abusive whether thin or not). No one should have to be abused. Separate from him and demand he go to counseling with you before you will even THINK about taking him back. Or just divorce him, your call. But don't be a victim!! Maybe having the surgery has given you the self confidence to do what's best for you and your kids. Good luck!
2007-07-19 08:36:47 · answer #1 · answered by historybuff33 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Who on earth was your doctor??!! Counseling for EACH of you PRIOR to your surgery should have been mandatory. In fact, everyone I know who has had it went through counseling with their spouse prior to surgery - to explore how will they feel and deal with things when the person undergoing the surgery has a drastic surge in self-confidence. It prepares the spouse for the physical and emotional changes they will see in the other after surgery.
If your husband had had the proper pre-surgical counseling, his need to control you by manipulating/abusing your feelings and being able to do so because of your lack of self esteem due to your excess weight would have been discovered right away. It may have made a difference if he could have been treated for this prior to the surgery. But he had no preparation on top of being an abusive personality to begin with. Now it's kind of late, isn't it?
2007-07-19 16:23:17 · answer #2 · answered by Ronnie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally know 2 people that have had it and both left their husbands (had affairs). My sister is one of them and I hated the person she turned into. It has been 3 years and she left a WONDERFUL and hot husband who stood by her at her fattest!
Things are better between her and the whole family now. She has remarried and we love her new husband but I think the bypass surgery SUCKS! It sucks out the stomach and the person's mind. It made my sister VERY selfish.
I think bypass should be outlawed.
2007-07-19 16:14:51 · answer #3 · answered by boohoo 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The only person I know of who had the surgery did leave her husband...she now has confidence and enjoyed the notice she gets from men that she never got before...
2007-07-19 15:55:27 · answer #4 · answered by melouofs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it sounds like he needs to stop thinking of myself
and you need to start thinking of your kids
he is selfish and should be happy for you
im happy for you im glad you got the surgery done and you are starting to feel better about yourself and so you should be
but if he is abusive he is wrong and your kids will pick up on those traits and maybe one day act them out to there families
if you are unhappy and an abusive relationship then leave what is stopping you
2007-07-19 15:34:28 · answer #5 · answered by carmelfude2003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i left my husband after losing 100 pounds, he was a good man. but after losing all that weight, i got a taste of going out and having fun. and meeting new people. now 15 years later, i wish id never done that to him. all he did was love me, your husband is probably scared right now, that you could leave him. he is insecure
2007-07-19 16:27:21 · answer #6 · answered by MICHELLE M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well he did what he did before your surgerory because you let him and thats the only reason why he wishes you didnt have it. My sister-n-law had it and it wasnt becasue of that that her and my brother broke up because she always have been a very pretty lady and size didnt matter she could have any man she wanted look bottom line leave his *** if he gonna treat you like that regardless of your size leave his sorry *** nobody deserves to be mistreated especially by the person who claims to love you
2007-07-19 15:36:42 · answer #7 · answered by toofavorable 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I havent experienced gastric bypass. But that's not the real point here. NO ONE, under ANY circumstance should BE or ACCEPT abusive behavior in any form.
WHATEVER one needs to do to correct such an issue, should DO so.
2007-07-19 15:37:45 · answer #8 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Hey.. you only get one life.. one shot..
Make your life a happy one.
Try a trial seperation first.. maybe you think your ****dont stink and you dont realize how much you love him.
Maybe you can live way better without him and there is someone else.. ( or maybe no one else) out there for you.
2007-07-19 15:47:26 · answer #9 · answered by ♥ B1tchHere ♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
personally never had the sergery but maybe now your relizing that you dont have to put up with his abuse any longer you go girl
2007-07-19 15:35:33 · answer #10 · answered by AMBER 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋