I've been seeing someone now sinse january and I care for her very much, she is just what I need and life just gets better with her by my side but I keep thinking of my ex who I was absolutly besotted with and loved with all my heart but she drove me to insanity with her evil twisted way so I dumped her. I wish I could remove all memory of her but I can't, I only ever think of her when I'm alone and sometimes I miss her, my girlfriend knows that I still have feelings for the ex and understands, even though I love my girlfriend I don't think I'll ever be "in love" with her and feel like my heart is cheating on her which makes me feel bad. what on earth can I do?
2007-07-19 08:26:03 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
my new girlfriend is better than buttered toast and buttered toast is really bloody good.
2007-07-19 08:35:18 · update #1
I forgot to mention the four years of being single between dumping her and being found by the nice new girlfriend.
2007-07-19 09:12:31 · update #2
Perhaps taking a break from women in general for a while and focusing on yourself....I'm thinking it's not that you don't love the new girl, it's that you've got issues still to deal with on the whole 'obsession/besottedness', and you probably feel a healthy love for the new girl, but simply can't recognize it as a healthy love. Either that or you are just using the new girl and you know better and that's why you feel guilty.
2007-07-19 08:29:28 · answer #1 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is some part of me that feels intensely sorry for your current gf. She is probably far nicer than the last one and deserving of a man who can love her completely. However, she is a grown up and can make up her own mind on this one. I have to say that I don't think its your ex you are fixated on, you are still getting over all the insanity itself - that takes time. You are reviewing it over and over to try and make sense of it all. However, you may well have been very attached but love is a funny ol' thing and comes in many guises. Sometimes the best kind of love is not the fireworks and crashing waves type of thing. Calm, sustainable love might not reach the same level of excitement but it doesn't have the crushing lows either. Make a pact with yourself...give yourself a loving chance with the good one you have and put the past where it belongs...
2007-07-19 08:42:20 · answer #2 · answered by AUNTY EM 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You must not feel guilty about finishing with a woman who "drove you to insanity with her evil twisted way" - that's your words. Read them and remember why you had to finish with her. People like her, and I have had a relationship in the past like that, have a knack of piling the responsibility on to you for their behaviour. You owe it to yourself and to your new love to be free of all that guilt. Perhaps you weren't really ready for this new relationship and it would be best to cool it. You have to ask yourself if you could live without your new love - if the answer is no, then work together to make it work. If the answer is yes, then do the right thing and don't put her through "I can't ever love you because of my ex" torture.
2007-07-19 08:38:22 · answer #3 · answered by Normsgirll 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This may sound wierd but pain is passion. Sometimes part of the enjoyment of a relationship is the uncertainty of it. What makes us up in the sky one minute and down in the lowest ditch the next keeps us allert and pumps adrenaline. When you are in a relationship with someone who is nice and caring, it can sometimes seem lacking in this passion. Your longing for your x is probably a longing for these feelings which she stirred within you. It's a shame because sweetness and kindness is really much better for you. It's part of the reason they say "every woman loves a b******d and every man loves a b***h"
2007-07-19 08:58:55 · answer #4 · answered by pamperpooch39 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your brain (including your emotions) develops familiar paths and feelings of love will always remind you of people you loved.
It's not cheating.
First, get over the idea that you will never love your girlfriend like you loved your ex. It's not likely true unless you make it true.
As you spend more loving time with your new GF, your brain will 'widen' those thought paths and they will replace the ones that lead to your ex.
It takes time. It always takes time to get over important relationships.
2007-07-19 08:32:06 · answer #5 · answered by Pantros 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only reason you are continuously thinking of your ex is because you have some unfinished business with her. Once you get all what you feel you need to say to her or give to her, then she will be out of your system.
2007-07-19 08:30:48 · answer #6 · answered by cinnatigg 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give yourself time and give your new relationship a chance. Love hurts and makes you soar to the summits of heaven at the same time. absence does make the heart grow fonder.,
for some one else.
2007-07-19 08:37:25 · answer #7 · answered by angels_angelsarehere 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're being unfair and selfish - sounds like you want this relationship to heal the damage that your ex caused. You need time alone to recover from your previous relationship.
2007-07-19 09:07:58 · answer #8 · answered by Clare 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to let her go. You cannot force yourself into love with her and out of love with your ex. I married thinking it would work and I would forget about mine and now I just resent my husband.
2007-07-19 08:30:37 · answer #9 · answered by dtndtt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have loyalty issues...start by seeing a counsellor. You need to find out why you think like this.
2007-07-19 08:30:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋