I love my husband and he makes me very happy (sometimes) and very mad (sometimes) But that's marriage for you! I also love the man I cheated on him with (before we were married) But he is also married now and has lost total interest in me. It makes me so sad because he used to be so hot for me and now I can't ever see or talk to him again!
Hey maybe I should e-mail him, what could it hurt right?
2007-07-19 07:56:41 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Here's an idea...grow up! You're married now, and married women typically don't want to correspond with former lovers if they want to keep their marriage intact.
Why not ask your husband what you should do??
2007-07-19 08:00:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
What are you talking about?
If you understand marriage, you understand that your spouse drives you crazy and makes you better than you were alone...all on the same day, sometimes at the same time. Also, you understand that marriage means you don't think about cheating on your spouse.
And in answer to "what could it hurt," ask yourself a simple question: would you tell your husband that you were e-mailing this ex? If the answer is no, no matter what the rationalization is for answering no, then you don't do it. That's what it could hurt.
And as to loving two people at the same time, of course, you can love a spouse, your parents, your children and loads of other people simultaneously. But you don't love them the same way. Your love for your spouse is sacrosanct. Nobody else could take his place any more than anybody else could ever be your mom besides your mom. And "being hot for somebody" is not the same as "love."
Go find your husband, look into his eyes, and see what makes you happy.
2007-07-19 15:06:55 · answer #2 · answered by KD 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO do not have any contact with this person it will only make you sadder ,and its not fair to anyone involved he has a new love -you have a new love.Let says one day him and his have alittle disagreement,it would be so easy for him to call you and end up hooking up, maybe for a hour a day a month,but if its only for a moment and they make up,Where are you? Alone your hubby would probably not forgive you,and the x is back with his lady and you may have ruin a great thing with your husband,My x husband cheated on me I was a basket case ,so I married my best friend,but I thought about my x for years,I never hooked up with him,he wanted to,but I couldnt take the chance of destroying all the people involved.
2007-07-19 15:11:08 · answer #3 · answered by Dawn V 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"What could it hurt right?"
Really??!!
It could hurt any chance of your husband who makes you happy (sometimes) ever trying to make you happy (most of the time) and your future that you planned with this man.
It could hurt the woman that your ex loves. The one that he loves enough to have lost total interest in you over.
If your ex has children it could hurt them.
If you have children it could hurt them as well.
It could hurt your ex. If he has feelings for you..but really is a man and honors the committment he made to his spouse or if he has truly moved on and his true love finds out about your petty little game to contact HER husband she may doubt him.
Either way..he gets hurt..so you really wouldn't be showing him you loved him would you?
and here...here is the real thing..since clearly, CLEARLY this is the only person you really care about hurting....
IT COULD HURT *Y*O*U* !
You may be hurt when you realize this man has found a woman that loves and cherishes him..and that he loves and cherishes and really wants nothing to do with a two timin' wishy washy lover.
You could be hurt when your husband realizes that you have been unfaithful before marriage and are planning on being unfaithful again.
You could be hurt when you end up single, penniless from lawyer costs, without your home and kids...(please say you don't have kids!) and alone..because a man that would cheat on his wife with you..will eventually cheat on you with someone better...
so...fantasize ...and enjoy...but...let it stay where it belongs..in fantasy land.
2007-07-19 15:26:20 · answer #4 · answered by foxinsox 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to live a relationship that is a roller coaster. Sometimes she's sweet & compasionate & others vile & sarcastic. How do we cope? Should we try to become someone else to keep the ride more level. Probably not, we would loose who WE are. I probably should not be chatting with another on the side myself but if the words I get from her are the words I hope for at home and don't recieve then I need the void filled somehow. In your case, I would probably not persue you ex, you already said your mad at him. Perhaps a new friend can fill your empty space. I wish us both good luck in our search.
2007-07-19 15:12:09 · answer #5 · answered by mikebnchprss 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Success in a marriage, or any relationship, depends upon open communication between the partners. It doesn't appear you have that, so I suggest you invest your time developing it. You may be surprised at what your husband wants as well. Don't proceed with any "alternative" activities until you both are in agreement or eventually it will destroy your relationship.
2007-07-19 15:01:43 · answer #6 · answered by Lou 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You obviously don't even know what love really is, or you wouldn't feel this way. What you had with the guy you cheated with was not love. It was lust. And if you email him, you may as well say good-bye to your marriage. Sounds to me like you need some therapy to get over your self-destructive obsessions. Good luck!
2007-07-19 15:00:58 · answer #7 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let sleeping dogs lie! The rear view mirror is a rear view mirror for a reason, it is what has past..... move on and focus all of your attention on the man you pledged your life to! He deserves nothing more than your unfaultering affections because that's what you commited to when you said "I DO"!
2007-07-19 15:03:56 · answer #8 · answered by Sunshine's Pic Is on 360 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you value your marriage, you will forget this other man, you even said he lost total interest in you.
the grass is not always greener, there's a reason why you aren't with him and are with your husband.
2007-07-19 15:00:57 · answer #9 · answered by Truth Hurts Get Over It 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
a lot could hurt. you're married. and he's married. if you do not put all of your heart towards your husband, then you need to rethink the situation.
2007-07-19 15:00:12 · answer #10 · answered by Kim Loan 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋