When we started dating we got along great. It was days of flowers and he constantly doted on me. The last semester of college was rough and I helped him through it and recently supported him through a job change where he is happier, but things have been weird since he is always stressed/tired. He went into his masters-online and now he barely has time for me even though we live in the same house! It seems like he's lost interest even though he swears he's totally into us. I tried to spice things up but nothing. He's always busy with schoolwork and starts it the moment he gets home until 1AM. I'm starting to get really lonely and having trouble supporting him. Now,at his new job he doesn't have time to call me at lunch and says he's ok with just spending time whenever we can while I think it's wrong to almost ignore someone you live with/love. I've mentioned my issues with him and he says I'm being ridiculous/doesn't see a problem. I love him but I'm afraid that I need more affection. ?
2007-07-19 07:53:26 · 6 answers · asked by Anchor Girl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Update: I tryed to talk to him last night and he told me that he's trying to better his life and take care of me. But on the other hand, he said he understands that he works until 6 comes home and struggles with homework until 1 and that something has to falter, which is our relationship. So I didn't like that. But on the otherhand I feel like I'm not being supportive because the time he does have freed up, he does spend with me. So I'm still stuck. I don't want to end it because I know it's due to the stress and his dedication to his work/studies. Right?
2007-07-20 04:25:27 · update #1
Guys are like that! you have to tell him to set aside at least one night where you guys can reconnect and spend a lot of time together. Guys do not understand our needs so we have to tell them our needs in a nice way. Don't sound grumpy or mean when you ask for a date night. Be patient and I'm sure things will get better.
2007-07-19 07:58:20 · answer #1 · answered by taurusgreen_82 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You and your BF are not looking for the same kind of relationship.
He wants the zero maintenance steady, reliable, no stress, no passion.
You want recognition, appreciation and attention and affection.
Only one of the above is actually a relationship and its not what he wants. You are in a relationship by yourself with a leech who is sucking the joy from your life and probably affecting you financially as well.
He might love you, but whether he does or not is not important. What is important is that he makes you feel loved. If he's not doing that, you need to break it off.
Tell him your life is not in the place right now where you are prepared to wait it out until he has the time and resources again to love you.
2007-07-19 08:41:08 · answer #2 · answered by Pantros 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you need more affection then move on. This is a busy man with different priorities than when you first started out. I believe he still loves you, but can't keep up with the old ways.
You fell in love with the man you knew at first. Meeting a guy like he is now probably wouldn't have sparked your interest. Be honest, kind and sincere. It will be better for the both of you for you to move on.
2007-07-19 08:01:40 · answer #3 · answered by bin there dun that 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your feelings of lonliness are understandable. But so is his stress and tiredness. There's a lot on his plate right now, as you know all too well. I think you're wrong, and a little selfish, to expect him to grab a phone to call you every time he gets a moment to himself at work. On the other hand, it would be good for his well-being if he could schedule just 2-3 hours a week entirely for himself. And a similar amount of time just for the two of you. Its not always easy to juggle everything, but it is important to take a bit of time for self and relationship.
2007-07-19 08:11:30 · answer #4 · answered by Tom K 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i've been the person on the other side of this situation. it's rough. to him, he probably is more focused on gettin his life together and not seeing anything wrong with that. he's def. blind to your feelings. tell him how you feel. i've also been in your shoes too. only my ex didn't work. all of a sudden he didn't have time for me.i soon found out why.
2007-07-19 08:12:29 · answer #5 · answered by Veronica M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move out.
2007-07-19 08:23:42 · answer #6 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋