How can I increase my social value? What is social value of an individual anyway?

Question

A friend of mine said that I have little social value, that's why ppl don't invite me to partie/pub crawls/social gatherings etc. What does he mean and how can I possibly increase my social value so that ppl will find me interesting and will invite me to social gatherings?

PS: I'm usually very serious, quiet and find it difficult to talk to ppl.

Answer 1

You basically need to relax, be confident in yourself, and know that everyone else feels insecurities and awkwardness too (hence their criticism of you .. as opposed to inspiring you). Every person acts on their own motives (primarily insecurity). When any person perceives another person to be a threat or simply doesn't know how to react (like when you are being serious or detached/reserved), then their insecurity will place a negative social value upon being around you .. but in the end, you are the person who determines your own social value (oftentimes without realizing it). Make people feel good and comfortable around you, and ignore everything that seems to be an attack on you because it is NOT personal, just THIER insecurity. Oh yeah, and a chemical imbalance can cause you to feel and act in ways which make others uncomfortable, so I advise that you see a psychologist and consider taking medicine like Zoloft (it works very well and you will feel more like yourself and more a part of, which is to say "in harmony with", reality and the social realm.

Answer 2

Social value is your ability to provide whatever the people around you value. At a party, the most valuable thing is probably fun. At a specialized meetup group, the most valuable thing is likely knowledge about a certain skill. People that can provide what those around them want are valued more than those who can't.

If I had a solid game plan to improve my ability to provide fun to others, I'd let you know. My current guess would be that improv might help, memorizing one-liners and jokes might help. Working in a call center making outgoing cold calls will likely reduce fear of interacting with strangers.

I think some creative thought is required here. In the end it will almost certainly require that you expose yourself to a lot of social situations that scare you.

Answer 3

I too am reserve and find it hard to talk to people. I usually will be somewhere at a party in my own little space watching as opposed to contributing. So your friend would probably say I have little social value. I too rarely get invited and usually prefer to decline instead if I do, opting to spend my spare time elsewhere. This doesn't mean we have "little social" value , as you and I do contribute to society in one way or another. If your hair is brown and mine red, it doesn't mean that your color or mine is any better. Just different. People interact in different ways, there's nothing wrong with it. Much of your personality traits are learned behaviors and many can be altered, but genetics make up a percentage as well.
Learn to accept and respect yourself first for what you are and tranquility and self confidence will follow.

Answer 4

Frankie, you deserve 10 points for your question! This is a good one! I've thought about it and read the answers you've been given and I have to side with individual freedom. I do so because it seems to me that "the common good" is a dangerous phrase. We often proscribe individual freedom using the common good as justification when, in fact, it restricts freedom for some transitory perceived fear or subversive motive. This is common with oligarchic governments, and social institutions. Restriction on stem cell research is one example; homosexual liaisons is another.Every time we restrict individual freedom we take away a fraction of the rights of others, usually, but not always, the minority. Once those freedoms are compromised, it's very hard to regain them. In this age of technological surveillance which almost makes it impossible to move freely in society without being watched, authorities can easily justify curtailing the freedom of movement of all of us using the justification that the benefits justify the means. Who decides what is the threat? Who justifies the means?

Answer 5

It all comes down to how much you bother with others....if you're a hermit, then no, there's not as much social value as one who volunteers all the time, hosts parties, attends PTA meetings, etc. Of course, that's only for people who take that very seriously. Otherwise, you have just as much social value as anyone else. Sounds more like your friend is only interested in what you do, not you yourself.

Answer 6

its how you perceived yourself that will increase your social value.

Answer 7

no. You are worthless