If your 16 year old got a TATTOO, how would you react? If u would be mad, would u punish him?

Question

I just don't know how to react to this. He knows that is something I never wanted him to do, I guess I am "old school" and think that tattoos are a stigma. So he knows he shouldn't have, did it anyway, now what? Do I ground him? He feels really guilty cuz he knows I am disappointed, but he still did it. Is this something you punish a kid for and if you do, are they going to learn a lesson? Or what's done is done? I"m at a loss here. If he disobeyed me, say he came home at 11 when I said be home at 10, he would be grounded and then never do it again. But this.....not too sure what to do.

I do not have tattoos. I do not like what they "say" about a person.

He had a friend do it.

Answer 1

I could not say ant thing for I did it.I would talk to him and help him take care of it.

Answer 2

My 16 year old daughter came home with a tattoo years ago and I found out two weeks after the fact (it was on her hip and NO, I don't check my childrens bodies).

First thing I did was get on the phone and threatened to sue the tattoo parlor. Second thing I did was ask to see it (after I freaked). Once I saw what it was, I calmed down. She had gotten a cross with roses wrapped around it with her last name inside the cross. My ex had adopted her the year before and this was her "birthday present" to herself.

Tattoo's are a stigma, placed there by society. Society doesn't know what's in our hearts when we decorate our body. Tattoo's are seen as a decoration, an extension of who we are. Each person who has a tattoo thought long and hard about the subject before they committed to it. Your son shouldn't be ashamed except for one thing, disappointing his mother.

Let it go Mom... it's a life decision for him which I'm sure wasn't made lightly.

Answer 3

Adolescent Desires + Parental Controls = Teen Rebellion

My only tattoo wasn't a huge hit with my parents either. To top that off, I got it the night before Father's Day one year... yeah, stupidity is part of growing up too. Needless to say, my parents were pretty disappointed, but... truly good parents LOVE their children, regardless of the circumstance. I was never punished, nor was I even scolded. I was just asked, Why?

From my experience, just sit down and talk to him. Explain that you never intended to be faced with this situation, and now that you have, it is going to take some time to overcome, and that you were initially very disappointed, but that you want him to know that you DO NOT love him any less. Finally, punishment will do absolutely nothing but make him rebel even further. Discuss it, accept it, and try to move past it. Punishment for something permanent? Hang in there, you'll be just fine. Take care and God Bless!!!

Answer 4

BEAT HIM WITH A STICK!!!

seriously try talking to him, explain why you did not want him having a tattoo and yes ground him, if you can not trust him about where he is and where he is going ground him, if you told him not to go to a party and he went you would ground him, right, so you told him not to go to a tattoo parlor and he did so do the same as you would in any other situation, also ask him what he thinks it will look like when he is 80 and some lady is bathing him
I personaly have nothing against tattoos i just think you should wait till you are old enough to do it for yourself if you choose instead of being pressured by friends, and in teenagers cases that is usuall why they get them

Answer 5

I wouldn't ground him, this is what he is expecting. I am pretty sure he was thinking, "I'll get the tattoo, get grounded for a couple of weeks, but I'll have my tattoo forever." I would tell him you are not going to ground him because there is nothing for him to learn from it, because he will still have his way and have a tattoo after he is ungrounded. Express your disappointment in him making an adult decision at 16. Let him know that your trust for him is in question, as well as your confidence in his maturity level. Let him know that his tattoo is a constant visual reminder to you of this, and that when he asks for things in the future- you will be reminded of this. Your son understanding and feeling your disappointment will hurt more than being grounded, if he is usually a good kid.

Answer 6

You should punish him. I'm not sure where you are, but in most places you have to be 18 to get a tattoo without a parent's consent. If he went somewhere and lied about his age to get a tattoo then he should definitely be punished for it. It won't change anything, and odds are he will get more tattoos later on. But you will be punishing him more for lying and doing something he knew he didn't have permission to do. If you let this slide then you will be setting a precedent that your rules are not really important and he can just do whatever he wants and get away with it because "what's done is done".

Answer 7

If you give him more leaway, he won't feel the need to rebel as much. Tattoos nowadays really don't mean the same thing they used to. Maybe talk to him about not getting any more in places that can't be covered up by a suit. And make sure he is spending a good amount on the tattoo at a real parlour so that it's safe. So my point of view: Try to see the art in it, and don't punish him. Just give him a little "i'm your mother, and it really concerns me..." to show that you do care. But leave it with "It's your body, I just hope you don't get too carried away with the body art, just in case you regret it in the future. Are you planning to get any more?" Don't push him away by treating him like a kid.

Answer 8

If I had a 16 year old, I wouldn't be to concerned if he went and got a tattoo. I would be upset and punish him for going against my rules as a parent, but if you punish him to harshly for actually getting a tattoo, he might just rebel.
What I would be seriously worried about is the fact a friend did it! You can easily contract disease if it's not done properly, and if a friend did it, I'm sure it wasn't. Look into that and ask a doctor.

Answer 9

I'd be really upset and would let him know how upset and disappointed I am.

On the other hand (playing Devil's advocate), he didn't get a girl pregnant and is hopefully not using drugs. It could be worse. Also, if he wanted to remove it in the future, he could.

I have tattoos and never had a problem. You'd be surprised at the number of people in the business world with tattoos. It's no longer a stigma.

There are bigger things to worry about...

Answer 10

I CAN HELP YOU! I waited until I was 18 to get mine...on my b-day. My mom asked me if I was in a gang. I thought omg mom, what a stupid comment. I wasn't in a gang, I liked the art. I only have 2 and regret them both. I'm 28 now. I don't regret having tatoos. I regret what they are and where they are. Don't get mad though...he's just a kid and regardless, it's permanent so a grounding won't help it go away. Tell him that if he promised to not get another one until his 18th b-day then you will take him on his 18th b-day to get one that is you and him pick out together and decide together where it should be. Also, just an idea, but he would think "what a cool mom I have" if you also promised him you would get one too. It could be a little heart or something. And have him get the same heart somewhere too so that when he sees it he will always think of his mom and how she has the exact same one. Tatoos are not bad. They can be beautiful, elegant, and femine. Don't think of it as a gang or biker thing. Good luck!

Answer 11

I strongly believe in letting my children express themselves, as long as it does not do harm to others. Your son has not hurt others by getting a tattoo. Its also my opinion that tatoos do not represent the stigma they used to. So many people of so many different cultures and beliefs wear tatoos. So, no I don't think punishment is a good idea, but I do believe that maybe you should discuss with him what his tatoo represents to him, how he intends to handle other people's reactions. Is it on his body in a place that is not appropriate in a formal setting? How will he handle this? Although the decision has been made, you can certainly have a conversation with him expressing your concerns, and request that he waits until he is at least 18 to alter his body any more.