Can I get them off the couch? Help!!?

Question

I have 4 stepkids, ages 11, 15, 17, and 20. ALL they do EVERY day is play videogames. They basically only get up to go to the bathroom, eat, or walk to another room to play another game system. I have only been living here since October and have always let dad make the rules. They don't have any chores to do other than put their clothes away. They don't do dishes, they don't help clean up the table after any meal, they don't help with laundry. I had a basketball hoop put in hoping they would play, they don't. We have a beach a few blocks up the road that they won't go to, even if I offer to drive them. I ask if they want to go on a walk with our dog we just got last fall, they don't. You get the picture. They still get $5/week for doing almost nothing. All they do is beg to rent or buy more videogames. I told my fiance that they are lazy and need to help out more and that they always want, want, want. He mentions to them that they need to work more, they do for a day or so

To goldwing maybe you didn't quite catch that I have only been here since last OCTOBER!!! And if my math is correct, than is a VERY small fraction of their lives, even for the 11 year old. JERK!

Answer 1

First of all...kick the twenty year old out of the house. Tell your finance, you are going to make the rules. Build a chore list and mandatory outdoor time, if for some reason you don't have the heart to kick out the adult (20), than make him/her pay rent with house rules. Let those lazy kids know that they are not video game professionals....Nobody is getting $5 a week ever again while living in the house. They need to understand they are being fed, sheltered and clothed. Video game playing hours on end are over.
If they don't want to clean up after a meal or do dishes...slop (dinty moore) their food right on the table or on a paper plate with no fork/spoon to eat with. If they want to live like animal, they will be treated like one. Let them know dishes will return when they are ready to help after dinner/breakfast/lunch...whatever the case. The dogs will love you even more. Just don't yell to get them to do work or go outside...it doesn't work!! Make them think you are loosing your mind, but meanwhile your still in control!

Answer 2

I have some ideas, but I don't know if they will work. It seems like the real issue here is your fiance since he's not making them earn the $5 a week or do chores, etc. I think it's great that you want the kids to do something other than play video games all day and to help around the house, but if dad (your fiance) doesn't put his foot down, I'm not sure if they'll change (you can try but you'll probably get the "you're not my mom" retort). Maybe try talking to your fiance alone and explain to him how much this is bugging you and how it's putting stress on your relationship (right?).

I think the only way you could get them to stop playing video games non-stop is to take the video game console away and out of the house. Of course, this may backfire because they may just start going to a friend's house to play video games.

This is a really difficult situation and I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 3

Your husband needs to step up to the plate here as you do not want to make yourself out to be the wicked step mother. I do agree with you but he has let this get out of hand. There is no good reason that the 20 and 17 yr old to not have a job. The 15 & 11 year old should also be working baby sitting, yard work, something. This is not only a health issue by them sitting on the couch but children are becomming brain dead by sitting and playing games all day.

Time to put the games away and set some new house rules. They should be given a time and day after chores are done as a reward. Your husband needs to put this in effect as if he is not going to back you on this you are going to be on the loosing end.

Answer 4

I would think long and hard before commiting to this arrangement. Your fiance has absolutely no interest in helping you deal as an authority figure in the house. He surely isn't one himself if he only "mentions" it to them. The two of you need to be firm or this will never change. First of all set a specific length of time video games can be played like an hour...whatever. Set up a list of chores for each of them and interchange them each week. Cut off the $5 if they aren't willing to or don't do any of the above. The 15, 17 & 20 yr. old kids should all have jobs. But if your fiance can't step up and be the parent he's supposed to be, you are going to have a hard time. Reconsider your relationship then.

Answer 5

You have to set up a system and stick to it strictly. They earn video game time by doing chores (doing dishes = 30 minutes of video game play, etc.). When they use up all their time and all their other chores are done, unplug the video game and offer them opportunities to do new things (reading, drawing, physical exercise, being creative and constructive). If things go well, they will eventually develop into more well-rounded people. If not, they will go over to their friends' houses and play games there. Then you'll be back where you started with no chores being done but this time with an empty house. Whatever you do, I hope it works out well. And remember this: at least they're not out on the streets causing trouble and getting arrested.

Answer 6

What you can do is take away all there vedieo games and have a family day out, get the kids into sports, take them to the movies, park and walk the dog, take them to the beach ,but make sure its the hole family,tell the 20year old, to get off his but n get a jop or sumthing, convice to them that going out and playing stuff and getting more excersie is better then sittng and do nothing. Tell them how they should be more apperiateive to the things that u guys do, Tell them about the real world n how there lucky that they dont have ot work and pay bills.For example tell them people in hawaii and other places that kids there age is already wroking. This is coming from a 15 year old girl who live in hawaii and know wat it mean to work , I hope understand this and i hope this helps.Thank you and God Bless

Answer 7

One day, when everyone is busy away from the house, get a big box and put everything videogame-related into it. Take the box somewhere. For ex: friend's/family/work
If it isn't in the home, they can't play it. Seems like this problem is running rampant. Out of 8 kids in my extended family, 5 are addicted

Answer 8

time to lower the boom! You are raising spoiled kids that will have little or no future...this is NOT what a parent does. The 20 year old can leave and get out on his/her own if she doen't like the new "game." All those kids should be doing housework, yardwork, and the 15/17 year old should get day jobs NOW...Turn OFF the TV...and if necessary, move the damned things out of the house. You are promoting these kids to be lazy sponges...Sorry, babe, but I am glad you were not my mother.

Answer 9

It's not the kids you need to work on, it's their dad. If dad makes the rules, have him make the rules that both of you are happy with. If he doesn't put his foot down, there's nothing you can do on your own to change the situation. If your fiancé is not willing to back you up on this, you will be fighting an uphill battle for as long as you have these kids in your house, and you will lose every time. Have him change the rules - or accept that this is what your life will be like if you marry this guy.

Answer 10

think long and hard these kids and dad are in a reotine and its not likly to change so if you can live with it then....why are they all just doing nothing anyways? 20,should be out the house 17 almost gone(i was)11 15 dont they have lives?