Here's the deal. My husband's ex-wife lives in Missouri and we live in North Carolina. She wants the oldes child who's 9 to come live with us, but she wants to maintain primary guardianship. She can't do this right? If he lives with us full tiime we become his primary guardians. It's very importnant b/c my husband is military and when he is deployed I need to have decision making power for his wellbeing in medical situations. So in ther words she just wants to send him to live with us w/o legally changing his place of residence. Is there anyway possible to tackle this w/o a lawyer. And if we have to have a lawyer do we get one here or there? So confused and frustrated...please help.
2007-07-19 06:58:23 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
Well we already claim him on taxes per the divore decree. I htink it's just she wants to keep the child support we currently pay for 2 children. She says it's low anyway. We pay $700.00 per month and on military pay that's a good bit. Not to mention I have a daughter to take care of and another on the way. So we need the child support to be revisited if he lives with us full time otherwise we can't afford to feed and clothe him. She's only sending him b/c she can't control him anymore and she has 3 other kids and getting divorced again. She's sending the oldest of her other 2 to live with her dad. I have no idea what twisted thing she is up to.
2007-07-19 07:12:51 · update #1
Okay I pulled out his divorce papers and it says they have Shared Parental Responsibilty which I'm assuming means Joint Legal Custody. She has primary physical custoday. If that helps.
2007-07-19 07:36:04 · update #2
If your husband is military then go to JAG...Or whatever it is called now...and get a lawyer. The military supplies lawyers for this very type of thing (usually free of charge, or at least very very cheap, because if you take care of the military family then the military person will be able to keep their mind on their job) They should be able to answer all your questions. And as far as where the lawyer is, then that should be dependent on your place of residency. But it may be better if you wait till your step son is with you, before you go down that road, because then it will show proof that the ex-wife is trying to dupe your husband and the government by saying her son is someplace where he isn't. None-the-less, I would speak with a military lawyer to get your answers, because they should at least show you the right course of action...something that I can't do because I live in Washington state.
EDIT: She should not receive child support from your husband if the child is with you...Something that I gathered was the reason she doesn't want to give up custody. She would be defrauding both your husband, and because your husband is owned by the government, she is also, in a way, defrauding the Government.
She sounds like a warped lady who wants to take advantage of people to get more money, which is probably the reason her son is wild and out of control.
2007-07-19 07:18:05 · answer #1 · answered by Fedup Veteran 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is physical custody and legal custody. Some states use different terminology, but the concepts are the same.
Legal custody is who gets to make legal decisions for the child, and who gets to act as the child's legal advocate before the court, and who can veto any actions taken with regard to the child. In other words, who makes the decisions.
Physical custody refers to who has day-to-day care and responsibility of the child. Who buys the food, and buys the clothing. Who drives the child to school, and who is home at night when the child sleeps.
You can have physical custody and someone else can still retain legal custody. Such situations are common where physical custody is shared.
If she does not want to give up legal custody, then the only thing you can do is petition the court for a change to the custody orders. Or refuse to take the child entirely. Other than that, the child would just be visiting you, but she would retain legal decision making authority.
2007-07-19 14:12:51 · answer #2 · answered by coragryph 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
you need to do this from your state.
go to the Family Court...they have an advisor there who can give you some valuable information.
If the child comes to live with you, she also needs to pay child support.
the reasons she wants to maintain primary guardianship are purely financial...one is child support and the second being she would still get the tax exemption at the end of the yer.
get some good advice....don't let her screw this up for you or the child.
good luck
2007-07-19 14:05:56 · answer #3 · answered by Blue October 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think the real question is why does she not want to transfer over the guardianship? i she maybe recieving money from somewhere?
2007-07-19 14:07:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋