My friends husband has been hitting on me and I don't know how to get him to stop. I don't really want to tell my friend what he is doing because they just had a baby. I'm not attracted to him and I have told him that I would never do that.
2007-07-19 06:47:07 · 41 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Accidentally carry a digital recorder with you so that you can record his advances. Then explain to him that you value your friendship with his wife and if he makes anymore advances or tells his wife that you are evil, that you will expose him to her. Otherwise you can bet the friendship will end anyway with any other course that you take.
Then be on the lookout for this guy trying to hit on anyone else. She is much more likely to listen to your hints if you are not the object of his affections.
Good luck!
2007-07-19 06:55:21 · answer #1 · answered by steveheremd 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I had this happen in my early 20s by my friend's fiance (they also had a child together). I never told my friend because I knew her fiance would just turn it around and say I was coming onto him and she'd probably believe him (women seem to have more loyalty to spouses and boyfriends than their female friends). I just made sure to avoid the fiance whenever I could.
My advice would be to tell the husband that your answer is no and you don't appreciate being hit on by him. I would try to avoid the husband and/or only be around him when your friend is there. If you have a significant other or husband, I would definitely tell him immediately what your friend's husband is doing.
2007-07-19 06:53:33 · answer #2 · answered by Sturm und Drang 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have already told him clearly that you are not interested and he continues then you need to stay away from him. Men who continue to pursue after being told no are men to avoid. I'm sure it is going to be hard to stay away from your friend but you have a right to feel safe and comfortable. You are right not to tell her. Baby or no baby telling a friend something bad about her man never goes well. Her marriage/family is the most important relationship in her life (or should be) . Her first reaction is going to be to protect him, not you. Find ways to still be her friend and spend time with her without him. Hopefully he will get over whatever is causing him to act like such a jerk and the three of you can go back to how you were before. Good luck!
2007-07-19 06:54:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Boy, I had that happen, it was horrible! I wanted to tell her, but then I thought, he'd say I was lieing, or jelaous, or she'd forgive him and then never talk to me again. either way I was screwed. it got bad, he grabbed me in the elevator after she just had a baby and kissed me! I told him over & over how bad he was, didn't get through, so, I just stopped being friends with her, thought she'd find out some other way. all woman say they'd want to know, that they'd leave, but in reality, they don't. if she means a lot to you, tell him he better get his prioritys straight, that he has a baby that he's a role model for now. and if he's not ready to be faithful he should leave now, because children would rather come from a broken home, than live in one. and the baby didn't ask to be born and he has to grow up because what he does will effect his child from this day forward. maybe that will wake him up! but to tell her, will only come between your friendship, try working on him first, if not, tell her family, let them keep an eye on him and tell her.
2007-07-19 07:01:59 · answer #4 · answered by cheryl c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to make it VERY clear that if he doesn't knock it off you WILL tell his wife!!
My opinion, if you are a true friend to this girl, you should tell her anyway! This guy is an idiot, and if he is hitting on you chances are he is hitting on others too. I would be soooo hurt if my husband was doing this to a friend of mine and she didn't tell me. She has the right to know, then she can make an informed decision about how to handle it.
Good luck to you!
2007-07-19 06:55:23 · answer #5 · answered by Kailey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's been hitting on you because he know he can. He probably hits on all his wives girlfriends and your the only one who lets it happen. Be very stern and rude and tell him to leave you alone!! Get right in his face with the finger and tell him to **** off! Guys don't hit on rude women. If he still doesn't stop, you need to tell your friend. She deserves to know and even though she may believe him over you, at least you know you warned her what an *** he is and maybe she isn't that good of a friend if she doesn't believe you. someday she'll realize and apoligize to you.
2007-07-19 06:54:09 · answer #6 · answered by sun day 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've already told him your not interested but have you told him to stop? It's not the same thing, especially to men. If you've actually told him to stop you must tell your husband to talk to him. This should remedy the situation if the guy gets made and ends your friendship so what? Your husband should be standing behind you and not care either.
2007-07-19 06:51:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Slap him. That is my standard answer for stupidity.
Tell him to leave you alone or you will tell his wife. He is a jerk. Do not allow jerky behavior. I think if you had done this the first time he tried, he would have been put in his place. Do you enjoy it on some level? Most people who don't enjoy it know how to say a firm no that gets the point across.
2007-07-19 07:05:41 · answer #8 · answered by wondering 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either tell his wife or let him know that is NOT ok! I say decide on how you think the woman will take it. If his wife won't take it very well let the man know that you are not interested and if he refuses to stop then go to his wife. Another thing is if she is the kind of person that would rather you tell her if something like that is going on then let her know. It really depends on the people but either way you need to let one of them know asap!
2007-07-19 07:08:42 · answer #9 · answered by sugahsweetened 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bluntly tell him that his attentions are NOT welcome, that you are sure your friend knows nothing about this, but if it happens just one more time, she is going to know the full story...tell him to get his story lined up to defend himself, and for god's sake, tell your husband about it if you haven't. HE can set the jerk straight with one sentence...you do not have to put up with being treated as cheap, and that is exactly what this self-absorbed romeo is treating you like. If he does it again, the next time the four of you are together, bring up the subject in PUBLIC...tell him you have thought over his proposal for sex with you and want no part of it...that will end his career as Romeo of the week.
2007-07-19 06:54:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋