hello...i'm a 22 yr old woman. i got married 3 months ago. we had dated for 3 yrs and he's 27. i thought marriage would be the best thing to happen to me but it's beeing proved otherwise.....we guys bicker over small issues. i must confess i'm the one to start it most of the times...i just mean to be playful...he plays along too but then we end up having a big argument. he does come up to me to make it up but........
i hate it when he treats me like a baby...i mean he's a great guy and all but when it comes to decision making...i'm left out most of the times. i not outta uni yet but that doesn't mean i'm a kid. it irritates me when i'm all so excited about something and he's cool about it. i feel like he takes it to be too immature of me. i know he's older but not that much. it really irks me. wat do i do? i've noticed we end up arguing on everything and then he comes back to me....i do like it...but he treates me like a child...wat do i do?
2007-07-19 05:55:28 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
It may take 5 years to adjust to each other and this change in your lives..... If disagreeing/arguing means you're not made for each other, no one's made for each other. Don't give up yet.
2007-07-19 05:59:40 · answer #1 · answered by Rossonero NorCal SFECU 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ahhh! young love is so sweet. Why did you marry him if you can't agree on anything. Something brought you two together and this is were you are. Men are so funny, my husband and I have arguments that sometimes end in "I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you mad" and yes the treating you like a baby can be annoying but it calms the waters. All marriages a hard at first, my husband and I have been married 10 years and at first it was rough, now we can't help but laugh at eachother when we fight. Give it a while you will see 3 months is not very long but don't throw in the towel yet. Tell him not to candy coat it, walk away and calm down then forget about it. Have fun with your husband and don't sweat the small stuff.
2007-07-19 13:16:40 · answer #2 · answered by robink71668 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him and catch him in the act. Ask him why he does it. Try not to yell, be patient and try and understand his position. YES EVEN IF IT ISN'T JUSTIFIED. Because when you understand his position you can come up with an argument against why he does it, and tell him how you feel!
The petty bickering is just an overflow of other issues that are more important. If he was not treating you like a child you probably wouldn't care about how he puts the trash can liners in. or what he does with the towel after a shower. Try and see his little quark's as cute. Cmon! Hes your husband. Stay close to him and let him know that you don't love him less because you have issues.
Lastly, approach him with something your doing wrong so he sees your not flawless and your genuinly trying to communicate. Think of it as a peace offering or a barter. You give, he gives. Most people will be more willing to admit to their own wrong doing when you openly come and confess yours. Don't make excuses for him or yourself. There are certain things that you deserve out of the relationship and there are certain things he deserves, but this is a team effort and a marriage will ALWAYS fall apart if both people are not giving their all.
2007-07-19 13:08:00 · answer #3 · answered by Jay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, most of the issues you talk about sound to me like growing and identity issues. Yes, you should be part of the decision making even though you are not out of uni yet afterall you both thought you were old enough to enter such a partnership in the first place. My advise to you is: Try open communication in a positive non finger pointing way. For example: I feel like treated like a child when you keep me off decisions etc. Also, the older you get the more you realize that alot of the things we make into issues are really inconsequential deals. So find out what is at the root of the fighting and discuss it openly.
So to reiterate: Open communication
Do not sweat the small stuff
2007-07-19 13:08:55 · answer #4 · answered by uz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you guys got married too young (At least you are). You are a prime example as to why people say that couples should wait until there 30's to get married. Marriage is a big commitment you have to fully know yourself and know what you want. I believe you really don’t start to know who you are until you are 25. Yes five years doesn’t seem that much of a difference but you guys are at two different points in your lives. You are 22, most 22 year olds are partying getting drunk, traveling and having fun. Most 27 year olds are trying to get there career going and are trying to move up and make a good income. So what this equals to is that there are things that interest him but not may interest you and vice versa. Since you are married I think you should work hard to keep the marriage going, who said being married wasn’t hard work. I say work at it, you guys just got married and this is just one of many hurdles you guys will have to overcome. And one more thing please do not have any children until you have all you issues ironed out.
2007-07-19 13:18:37 · answer #5 · answered by Jeff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit down and have a talk at a time when you are not arguing. Marriage is a partnership and you will have to work together for the rest of your lives or get a divorce, which always sucks. Both of you will have to give up some of the independanec you were used to, even though you were in a relationship. Be calm and non-accusatory do you don't end up fighting.
2007-07-19 13:11:17 · answer #6 · answered by New Dog Owner 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋