Say a teenaged girl has an abusive teenaged boyfriend, and he hits her. Can he change? What would make him change? What are the chances of him changing?
2007-07-19 05:55:19 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
not without help and usually not while he is with the girl. he needs some counseling and maybe he needs medication to help. but if he is with the girl he won't stop
2007-07-19 05:58:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes reality can be overwhelming to the emotionally stunted. The idea that someone cares for them and yet still has their own identity is more than some boyfriends/husbands can handle. Maybe it's easier to whip the object of their affections like an animal in order to train them to stay. This way they don't have to make an emotional and intellectual commitment to make themselves "grow" in the relationship together. Sure people can change, but, as a teenager, it's not your job to do that. As long as a girl/wife sticks around for the hitting the male thinks it's all good. ( if I ever found out that any of my daughters or nieces was being physically abused someone would be on my s**t list).
2007-07-19 13:15:00 · answer #2 · answered by make room for daddy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very very very unlikely.
For people who have been touched by domestic violence, we'd all like to wait and hope that perhaps enough understanding and patience will change someone for the better. But sadly, it doesn't work like that and a couple thousand women die in the USA every year waiting and being patience, and trying to understand and forgive.
When any adult unjustly hits another person, and especially when a (stronger) man hits a (weaker) woman without provocation he has shown that his brain is mentally unwell. It's not a simple "Oh he's stressed" outburst. It's a mental disordered and he has decided that women are lower and therefor, it's ok to hit them when they make him angry. He has also show that he has little impulse control and ability to control his anger. Those are not simple issues. They are hugely complex and often rooted in the abusers own childhood and the way they were parenting. Most of them have abuse in their own past and we raised with abusive men around them. Nor is it something that goes away by just saying "It's ok, just don't do it again."
As someone else said, it's not worth the wait. There are classy guys out there that don't NEED that sort of "rehab", that think women are great, that would never hit one.
2007-07-19 13:02:01 · answer #3 · answered by Rhiannon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He can change ONLY if he wants to! And even before he does that, he has to admit he has a problem in the first place. Very few abusive men even take the first step, much less the second. Why do you think so many violent men are in prison?
I'd say the chances of a guy like this changing is less than 2%.
2007-07-19 12:58:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
This boy can only change if he wants to change. If he doesn't see anything wrong with him then he will always be that way. But if he truly wants to stop being violent he needs to find a healthy outlet. Some people turn to music, working out, taking a class, drawing, writing, anything that that is calming or takes a lot of energy will help. It all depends on the person.
2007-07-19 13:01:05 · answer #5 · answered by colorfulsunrise514 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say the chances of him changing on his own are pretty slim.
If you are with an abusive boy, get out of there before it's too late. How many stories have you heard about some girl and her children getting killed by one of these abusive boyfriends.
The longer you stay with him the harder it will be to break away.
2007-07-19 13:01:44 · answer #6 · answered by jrnwy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The chances of him changing are slim to none. He probably demonstrates the treatment he either receives at home or the treatment he sees his father give his mother. She should leave him. It is also hard to change women/girls who become accustomed to such abuse. Invariably, they go through a series of partners who are abusive for the same reasons - it's the behavior they witness at home and they think they deserve nothing better.
2007-07-19 12:58:51 · answer #7 · answered by Stimpy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No girl or man EVER should be hit by someone who is supposed to love them.
Statisticly though, the boyfriend may see what he's doing and may feel bad. But in a fit of rage will probably continue to strike his girlfriend.
All she can do is either leave him
Or try to help him, get him PROFESSIONAL help, and be there for him. But let him know she WILL NOT stand being hit.
2007-07-19 12:59:31 · answer #8 · answered by Tracie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgive Affirmed Spirit
2007-07-19 12:58:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
people can change. but with that kind of nature..it will usually take years for him to change. if i was that girl i would move on and try NOT to change other people. it is the guys responsiblity to change and no one elses. if he cannot take that kind of responsiblity then he is stubborn and weak.. he will probably make the girl feel guilty for not staying with him and blame her.
but the a young lady/teenager who is strong will walk away and find someone to treat her right someone as strong as her...not weak.
AGAIN, it is not anyone's responsiblity to change others. you can inspire them...but it is notup to you to consistently stay with that person and put up with it.
otherwise you will become an abuser like him.
2007-07-19 13:03:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
chances are slim, people generally do not change but act upon issues with in there own lifes. he probably knowes he can overpower her and will continue to do so. HE needs to sort out the root of his own problems first before he can entertain an idea of being in a relationship with anyone.
2007-07-19 12:59:21 · answer #11 · answered by seapigsfly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋