Funny/Yucky Story to Share?

Question

My young daughter loves to hear real-life funny and gross stories, and unfortunately I've exhausted all the ones from my own life. (Like the time I pulled a decomposed bird head out of my dog's mouth and then vomitted in our backyard, she loves that one!) I'd love to hear some from your own life, ones with poop and animals will be favoured! Oh, and try to keep it appropriate for kids! Thanks!

Answer 1

When my oldest son was a baby, (about 8 months) my mom and I repeatedly warned my husband about playing rough with him right after he ate. Don't jiggle him up, we'd say. He just ate. Well, my hubby was lying on the floor playing "Super Baby" laughing, and yelling "I'm a SUPER BABY!!" when my son barfed right in his open mouth and all over his face! He screamed "OMG SICK!!!" He was wiping his face and gagging into a spit-rag all at the same time. And my mom and I laughed so hard, we cried. LOL good times.

Answer 2

I had just moved into my apartment and my mom had noticed a strange smell coming from my laundry. I didn't know what it was and didn't feel like thinking about it until I decided to do a load of laundry. Well I put the laundry in and when I went to put it in the dryer everything appeared to be fine until I saw that I left something else in there. I thought it was a piece of my laundry but when I picked up the mangled wet mass of bones and fur I realized it was a dead animal. I freaked out and almost threw up. I started calling people to help me, only to get a hold of a friend who was with her new boyfriend. I thought, YES a boy to help me! They came over and confirmed that it was in fact a dead bat....what that heck. We were all freaking out and by this time it's 11pm and I have to be at work at 9. Long story short it remained in my washer overnight after efforts with some yellow rubber gloves my mom had bought me that I never thought I would use. When I called to put in a service request in the morning all they could do in the office was laugh at me....it is funny I agree but disgusting and at least they didn't wash they're clothes with it. I love living next to woods, but I guess I get the good with the bad.

Answer 3

I grew up in a small village, with few street lights. One hot summer night, my sister and I went to a friends house about 5 blocks away to watch a movie (Wuthering Heights) that started at 10:30 p.m. It was common in our village to go barefoot most of the summer, even into high school. As it was hot, we were barefoot. During the movie, we got one of those unexpected summer storms. It rained very hard for about half hour to an hour, then the storm went away. When the movie ended, and we left the house, we could tell that it had rained and rained hard. We also knew from experience that the worms were out - all over the sidewalks and streets. We knew from experience just how many there were, too. However, due to the lack of street lights, we couldn't see them. We could smell them, and we could feel them squishing between our toes as we walked home, but we couldn't see them to avoid stepping on them. We took the longest strides we could, and went slowly, but it didn't help. We tried walking on tippie toes. It didn't help. We arrived home with worm guts oozing from between our toes. We got out the Comet cleanser and the SOS pads, went up to the bathroom and spent over an hour sitting on the side of the bathtub, scrubbing our feet raw to get rid of the worms. To this day I will not step on a worm, even with my shoes on, and even if they are old and dried on the pavement. I also will not walk in wet grass after the rain, just in case there are some worms out. It's not a phobia, though, since a phobia is a fear. It just grosses me out to the point of wanting to vomit to even think of stepping on another worm.

Answer 4

After Hurricane Katrina hit My husband and I lived in a trailor in a country setting. We had no other choice, but to keep our dog tied up to our trailer and when my husband left for work, my dog toby got loose and eat the neighbors chicken that she was raising. I felt soo hurt and upset and scared. You see my dog was not use to being outside, we raised him inside and I was not use to having a big animal like my shepard. When this happened the neighbor called the police and they gave me a no leash law ticket. When I explained to them that I really didn't mean for it to happen and I really didn't know about raising dogs; especially, since I inherited the dog after my daughter left home. After the policeman spoked with the neighbor and discovered that the neighbor was really rude and should have had her chickens, pecock and dogs put in the chicken coup. Well the ticket was suspended and I learned a valuable lesson.

Answer 5

When I was about 9 , me and the other little boys were picking up worms off the sidewalk and scaring the girls by dangling them in front of their faces . After awhile we started tossing them in the direction of the girls . Well , one girl screamed just as I threw a worm and it went right in her mouth. . .and right down her throat !!! Yikes . LMAO . She ran home crying even though I kept saying 'sorry' and 'I didn't mean for you to swallow it' .
I thought a good spanking was in the very near future , but her dad never told my parents !! Whew !!
Fast-forward about 12 years. . .. . . .I walked into the local McDonalds and as I began to place my order , I realized the employee was my old neighbor . I politely apologized in a very gentlemanly manner . She told me she never forgot that day , but understood that we were just kids playing around .

P.S. - I ate my Big Mac that day with fingers crossed !!

Answer 6

About 15 years ago...my husband bought me a baby female black lab....she was adorable....She was in her crate for the night....but she had a upset tummy....

She always slept curled up in what we call a doggie ball. She curled up really tight and tucked her nose under her tail...way up by her butt.

Well...being she had a tummy ache...she had a bad case of gas....ALL NIGHT..

We woke up the next morning to the lovely smell of doggie gas....except it didn't seem to go away....so I shuffle out of bed to check on her....

Poor thing proceeded to the next step of a tummy ache...and she had diarrhea....while she was curled up in the doggie ball. OMG what a mess!! It was all over her....including her nose and muzzle.

And she had been an abused puppy (the breeder didn't want BLACK labs...just chocolate)...so she has this panicked puppy face like the world just came apart....

I had to pick her up with a blanket wrapped around her and give her a bath at 5 in the morning...the poor thing.

Answer 7

Once when I was a kid...................our neighbourhood had these huge, lime green colored caterpillars that had this pronged hook on there butts. When you try to pick them up they strike you with there butts so we use to throw them in the streets so the cars would run over them. This particular summer they were every where and there were hundreds of them in the road. The cars rode over them and swashed them flat. They were fat and would make a pop sound and oozed out juicy goo. The neighbour dog ran out on the street and ate the dead caterpillars. Is was so gross that my friend and I puked....................the dog ran over and licked our puke up.

Answer 8

1) My sister has a dachshund and a cat who both love to hunt small animals. One day she went into the back yard to find her cat, Red, with something in his mouth that she thought was a piece of rope. Like usual her dog, Pig, took off toward the cat and began playing tug of war with the "rope". My sister went over to investigate and found that it was a garter snake they were playing tug of war with, chased off both animals and proceeded to chase the snake with a shovel while screaming her head off. She flung it over the fence into the field behind her house...at which point the cat took off, caught it again and the whole big mess started over.
2) When I was 12 I went to get my first dog. He was a puppy and lived at the house of his breeder, so we were surrounded by adorable puppies. Well, I kept looking for mine since he was the only black one in the bunch and at last found him in an irrigation ditch covered in water and mud, dragging around a blanket. After fishing him out and being knee deep in muddy water and coated in grass clippings I went back to my mom who picked up our new puppy...and he peed all over her shirt. At this point she handed the dog back to me, tried her best to towel off with some napkins, and we started home. Halfway through the ride I noticed the puppy was shaking and lifted him up so his face was near mine...and he vomited all over me and all over the seat of my mom's car. It was a great start...

Answer 9

My most recent involves my two year old son.

He had a stomach flu. One day, when we thought he was better because of his playing and running around, I was holding him and he was doing his pre-requisite bouncing and jumping, he suddenly hurled on me, the entire contents of his stomach which included saltine crackers and an entire sippy cup of milk, which by that time had curdled sprayed me from my face down my shirt. My wife was laughing, then suddenly had to go hurl herself, leaving me holding an upset kid, and coated in vomit.

One my sis tells me about is when I was a baby, she was playing with me laying on the floor holding me above her. I had just had a whole bottle of formula. I spit up directly into her mouth. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!

Answer 10

Thank you, my good friend Bri, for sharing this beautiful thought with me... (and everyone else who may need a reminder...) I like how Sister ------- answered it too, with a thankful heart for the Lord....and acknowledging that there are many walking dead around....I agree for they do not know the joy the Lord has given me~ and all who believe......Thanks for this here story, and for reminding me...................to smile...even if it's borrowed for the time being~ Hugs to you... **What beautiful and loving answers you received! I esp. loved what Candy had to say about parenthood, (ain't it the truth?.....) Amen!