Why is it a woman's responsibility to wrap a guy around her little finger?

Question

I've heard this time and time again. I've been advised to start from the very beginning, and to make ur man miss u when ur not around. what's the deal? What's the harm in having it the other way around? Sure, it's all about control, but what's wrong in an even split? Why does there have to be a power struggle? Marriage is so confusing!

what's wrong with enjoying newly wed blistful ignorance w/o worrying about what ur spouse will or won't get used to unless u tell them and show them what u want from them and try to make them do those things? Argh!

Answer 1

whoever is giving you your advice is way off. Do you want a man that is going to lay down and die everytime you ask him to. Not me, I want a man to be a man, and stand up to me when he feels the need. I need a man with strength and his own sense of independence.

Answer 2

Back a few years men had the last word in marriage and it worked for milleniums. We , men , started to put women on a pedestal, thinking they were worth a lot, and the power struggle started. Now , both want to control , to keep their own and to control the other. Eventually it'll all break down . People are just not satisfied with an even split. They want a 99 to 1 split in their favor.Been married 40 some years and all 4 wives were the same. I'll find one who's right , eventually. LOL

Answer 3

I am a woman. I could NEVER be selfish when I was inlove. Maybe I should have been selffish and have my eyes wide opened . I think that you are born like this or learn it when you are very little ( to wrap a guy around your finger ) . You should have this in you , you cannot learn it . I think superior persons ( men or women ) don' t have the satisfaction of hurting someone. It's a primitive kind of " intelligence" to control someone and feel good about it. To totally control someone also takes a lot of effort : you have to pretend that you are weak and dependent, when you are , most of the time, strong and independent. And you are living with the permanent fear : " if he goes away, what should become of me?" . Only one thing is good : if he has money, and your life is a simple a pleasant one, it' s good. But how many times do you find such an opportunity in your life?

Answer 4

there are only 2 people in your marriage, the other people giving you advise are not really part of you marriage, therefore will not be hurt should these devious plans of who controls who end disastrously.

it takes two people to make a marriage work. it sounds corny but it is a give and take. believe me should you end up being in control, somewhere along the way you'll get tired of having to decide for you family all the time. someday you'll wake up hoping there is someone deciding for you... for a change.

don't let that happen. too many marriages have failed already. if you do end up being in control, (nothing wrong with that) just be sure that your husband is agreeable with the arrangement.

Good luck! =)

Answer 5

I feel personally that both parties in a relationship should be "wrapped around the finger" to an extent. To me, being "whipped" means putting the others needs before your own to ensure their happiness. I know it makes me happy to know that my boyfriend is happy, so why not go that extra mile out of my way to do something? I don't think anyone should ever go against their morals, ethics, or something that they strongly believe in..but there are things that can do that would probably be considered whipped. IE: Go to a movie that they normally wouldnt want to see because their partner wants to or leave a night out with friends just a little bit early to head home to their partner. It is something that i consider more to be respect and consideration of your partners feelings than being "wrapped around a finger" and in control of the other.

Answer 6

Your thoughts are painting your mind. Just do not allow that to happen. Start from the fresh...you cannot claim ownership in love. If you need to control your spouse then be sure there are problems in the relationships. Nothing can stop him going around places when something is missing in love. True love means greater freedom. Let your love fly to a distant and you just cling to his wings. Enjoy the journey together..do not ever try to 'control' him.

Answer 7

It isn't a woman's responsibility to wrap a guy 'round her finger. It's her goal to do that before her marriage, to keep the little guy by her side, at her beck and call. But, you're right. It isn't nice to dominate your man. Marriage is meeting half-way and that includes decisions, understanding, feelings and compromise. If both of you love each other then, surely, both of you will miss each other, too. Let your marriage be free and unencumbered.

Answer 8

Hmmm Pretty interesting question.

Yes, but not all the time, also not all the cases. See each person has own expectations of about his/her partner. From the teenage till they get married, they keep dreaming about their life partner, and has their own expectations about the one whom they are going to be for lifetime.

When they get someone below their expectations or below
their dreams, and then there is a chance of this.This may happen not only in arranged but also love marriages.

So, you should always be well knowing what your partner expects from you, in what way he/she likes you. Also you try to fill up their ecstacies, fantasies, and dreams.And keep them and make them feel that your the one for them.

When this lacks in whatever relation this may end up in a deviation as u said. But not all people are bad, most people are loyal to families and they dont want to betray their families for the eternal fantasies that are present in this world.

Answer 9

There is nothing wrong with you being the dominant one in a relationship if you both want that. Just be sure that you will not resent him for it later. Try not to be manipulative, but instead make sure you both know that you are in charge.

Answer 10

When wrapping a man around her little finger it is easy to manipulate - with wrong or bad results