why would a newlywed wife?

Question

if you consider yourself a christian, get married at 28, then abandone your husband after about 8 months because he cannot give you one date a week, how do you go to church every sunday and through the rest of your life like nothing is wrong? does that mean you just made a mistake and got married, realized that people have other priorities too like work, kids and ect. and just can not put 100% attention to you at all times?....so you say, well im out of this marriage i dont care? i never neglected my wife, i put her with all my other responsibilities and stayed home all the time while she was gone everyday...

Answer 1

Sadly sounds like she wasn't ready fro marriage and was using that as an excuse to leave.

Answer 2

Women or Men, both need some emotional comfort after marrying each other. The best way to do this is by spending time with each other. The complain of your wife is genuine but she could have been a bit more patient. I dont know how much time you used to give her from your busy schedule as u have not mentioned it, but its very important to spend time with her no matter how busy you are. Thats a part of a responsibility like the ones of jobs n' kids you are talking about. Communication, togetherness should be a must in a successful marriage.

If you have really not given her time in real and only acted your other responnsibilities, you do have a reason to feel that there was something wrong from your side. Again, I will also say that with your busy schedule if you have been taking her out on every weekend for some shopping or just a coffee thats enough as well.

Answer 3

Being married is hard enough with out adding the military to it lol. All you can really do is support him in what he does, you have to remember your not just married to him you are now married to the army too lol. I haven't been to fort Riley I have only been to ft Benning, ft Gordan, and ft Bragg and from what I've noticed there are mainly just malls and strip clubs by the bases because most of the army is single soldiers. Don't get on him about being late coming home because they cant help it some time they have to stay at work for 24 hours straight which sucks. When hes deployed there wont be much you can do if he can receive mail write him every day if he can get on the puter E-mail him and make sure you have a cell phone for when he does get to call home. Care packages are always good baby wipes ,magazines,smokes, candy, stuff that he wont be able to get from the locals is always good. other then that just ask him what he would want you to send him everyone is different. any other questions let me know I've been married to the military for 5 years now lol

Answer 4

Considering yourself a Christian, in itself, does not make you a smart or even a good person. Even Judas was a follower of Christ. In any case, it is hard to say what happened in this case, because you really don't give any details. It could be any number of things. There is a contradiction here that gives us a clue, though: you say you couldn't give her one date a week, and then say you never neglected her. I'd say there are pieces missing in this puzzle, and you are probably oversimplifying what happened. That said, in your defense, if she left after only eight months, providing you were not abusing or manipulating her, then it shows she really wasn't ready for the marriage. You two should have gotten some counseling before you were married, or maybe even after when you first started having problems. Sounds to me that neither of you really put in the effort to make this work. Some people think that just because they are Christian they don't have to do anything. Odds are, though, you two were just a bad match. It happens. In any case, if you consider YOUR self to be a Christian, I recommend discussing this with your pastor. Good luck!

Answer 5

I may have this wrong, but his wife was asking for one night a week where the two of them could be together, just the two of them. Romantic music, candles.. you know the kind of thing, at least that is what I read her demand for a date night to be. Maybe packing the kids off to the grandparents and settling down with a good movie and cuddling close, taking the phone off the hook and give each other attention.

I don't think that is all that wrong. Hell, the love of my life does that and it keeps the love in the relationship.

Having said that, I think more information regarding the situation might be needed... You say she is gone everyday? Doing what?

Answer 6

I think you are almost certainly failing to accept responsibility for your role in the failure of your marriage. You wish to portray your wife as crazy, or at least unreasonable. I suspect there is much more to the story that you're not telling. If you want your wife back, you're going to have to take a long, hard look at what she has told you about the way you treated her -- ALL of what she told you and not just the tidbit you wrote here. If you don't remember it all, go back to her and ask. Listen to what she says.

Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? As of now, you are totally focused on being proven right. I would think your wife would be more important to you than merely being the one who is right in this disagreement. I have no doubt there is plenty of blame to go around.

Answer 7

there's more to this than you say, a woman would not a husband just because he doesn't give her one date a week, not if she loved him, trusted him, felt safe with him, felt loved and respected by him, and if the sex is good.

I wonder why a man wouldn't give his wife one date a week
it would show her that he cares, respects, loves her, it would show that her well being was important to him, and in that she could feel safe to stay with you forever,

just that one reason, come on, be courageous enough to accept some of the responsibility for the marriage not working out, you can't blame her, you're in this together, face it, you made mistakes too christian or not

Answer 8

It seems as if she was not ready for marriage at all. Sometimes people jump into things too soon or maybe she is just selfish and expected everything to be perfect from the beginning. It takes longer than 8 months to get a marriage going, it is something that is never really complete, it takes both people to give and take to please the other. You seem like you tried your best to make her happy and she is the one who chose to be selfish. God will send you someone else that will appreciate you.

Answer 9

Am sure there isn't more to it than that. Your story is awfully similar to my daughters, down to age, ....I'm wondering if you aren't my daughters, soon-to-be x husband?
If not, He didn't have a job, was not a legal citizen until he married her (hmmm?), controlling, took her away from her family and ridiculed everything she did by stripping her of her self worth because of his insecurities and then used God as his scapegoat.
So, there has to be more to the story than what you are saying here. Always, two sides.

Answer 10

i never neglected my wife, i put her with all my other responsibilities and stayed home all the time while she was gone everyday...

A wife isnt a responsibility she is the next in line to Serving your father. Also why was she gone all day and why were you at home. I agree with you about the date a week,however it can be just as simple as going out to a park and going for a walk....