would you allow your partner to pay csa for his ex wives kid even though there is no contact and not his kid?

Question

elc pls read the question properly.
I supported my bf for 2 years while he was out of work from of my earnings. i sacrifiiced loads. we have joint bank account. when he got job, his ex demanded cash off him for her daughter (not his). I expect him to contribute a lot to the house before his ex's house and kid, my bf gave her the house worth £170,000 and she was the one that played away..ending thier marriage. she's ripping him off or trying to and I wont see him be took for a ****. Thats what I mean by "allow

Answer 1

if its not his kid no,why would he pay,if it is his kid then yes

Answer 2

OK first off if the csa are involved then he has accepted responsibility for the child and will have to continue to pay. The csa despite what people think do not force none-biological fathers to pay unless there is a responsibility and for there to be a responsibility there must of first been a commitment to that child either trough adoption, name on the child's birth certificate or marriage of the child's parent and it is that plain and simple.

I think what you are feeling here is jealousy that someone else is getting what you are not or what you want and this is not a good way to start your relationship. You need to sit down with him and have a good talk (and no screaming, no nagging and NO TELLING HIM WHAT TO DO) you need to listen to him and his reasons and its his money you need to accept it.

He has accepted responsibility for the child, and that is extremely commendable of him for doing so and quite frankly my dear you are acting like a spoilt little brat because you want something and are not getting it.

Answer 3

I wouldn't get in the middle of it if it was his choice. Depending on how long they were together, he may have grown to love the kids as his own. One day if you two are together long enough he may stop on his own. As long as it's his own earning, just say, "wow that's very kind of you to support some other dead beat guy's kids that you don't even raise any more. I never heard of this, but I support what you're doing because it's not the children fault they lost their father and now you." If you saw a single mom on the street and her kids were starving, would be heartless enough to let them starve? And if she has another man in her life supporting her, you can always talk to the CSE about the situation w.o him knowing what's going on so you and he will be in peace. Good luck

Answer 4

I would definately have a moan about it.
if there was loads of contact then maybe a little to help out but if it isnt even his kid then he isnt obliged to pay a bean.
She is probably spending the extra cash on herself!
The only way to know who the money went to would be to buy the kiddie a new toy or clothes.

Answer 5

Depends. If it is his name on the birth certificate, then he took responsibility for the child and should probably continue to do so.
If he doesn't want to pay then he needs to see a solicitor, and have a DNA test to show the child is not his.
But whether I would "allow" my partner or not, that would be his choice. I might not be happy about it though.

Answer 6

if its not his biological kid then if i was him i would see a legal professional about it. depending on your income he may qualify for free legal aid. if it IS his biological kid and he hasn't seen the kid in 1 year or 15 years he SHOULD pay towards the upbringing of that child. the child did not ask to be conceived and he is 50% responsible for that child being here so should he be 50% reponsible for the money ! more i'd say because is not emotionally there for that child.

Answer 7

i find this a strange question. Even if he does not have contact he still has a responsibility to his child and surely if the csa are involved it is not a question of being allowed by you to pay? Do you not think he should pay? If so i wonder why?

Answer 8

That is just plain weird..not his kid? and the ex walks with everything?? oh hells no we have to be realistic here, I would not stand for this.. make it change.. or what is left for you the one who stuck with him trough thick and thin? he is being ignorant about this..Good lord, I mean he is being a dumb ***.. You if this is bothering you talk to him and stop this child support payments for this child that is no longer in his life it is not his responsibility.. or move on.. hon let him go back where his money is at...good luck.

Answer 9

if you have a D.N.A. TEST done and it proves that you are not the farther then you have genuine reason why you shouldn`t pay child support, plus it proves to the courts that it was the wife that committed adultery and not him, i for one would not give a single penny in child support if i was in that situation, i would fight it all the way to the bitter end.. if she made no financial contribution to the mortgage on there house or her name is not on the DEEDS to the house then why did he give her the house he should have asked her to buy his share of the house if she wouldn`t then he was with in his right to stop helping to pay towards the mortgage ???? i think your fella needs to sit back round the table with a much better divorce lawyer.....

Answer 10

Child support is set up through the court system. If your partner agreed to pay child support (even if the child is not his) & it is court ordered by a divorce decree, then he is obligated to pay. He can be held in contempt of court if he does not. The only way to legally not be obligated is to return to court, prove the child is not his (DNA tests) & relinquish his parental rights. On the other hand, if he has court ordered visitation & she does not fulfill his visitation right, she can be held in contempt of court.
Hope this helps!

Answer 11

Allow him? If that's what he wants to do then he should do it. He may be the only "father" this child has ever had. If that is the case I would commend him for it. There's too many dead beat biological dads, it's even more rare for a man to take responsibility for another mans child. He must love this child as his own and his new partner should respect that. Parenthood goes beyond biology.