I have been married 19 years, I love my wife, we have a good relationship. any suggestions.?

Question

I am still very interested, but also frustrated. I am told by other women I am good looking. What should I do? She is not interested in sex after her change of life.

Answer 1

Hi Charles S,

Congrats to the 19 years that you already have & things get better believe me. It ins't like you have the 7 year itch syndrome now. I've listed a few things to ponder over:
1.Communicate your frustrations to your wife,
2.have her talk with her doctor,
3.http://www.mymasturbation.com , try some of these,
4.http://www.sexworld.com , get some motion lotions, dusting powder
5, foreplay,
6.LQQK wife should be the number 1 reason-& ask yourself do you really wanna stray? Just because another woman thinks your good looking,
7. all woman at some point go through this give her time,
& use some of the above sites, this might help, besides read them together & try some together. Good luck & better to stick it out then to stray. If all else fails try marriage counseling. Have a good day. :0)

Answer 2

Well first off, 19 years, that is wonderful....

Those other women are just "lustful" thoughts....forbidden fruit so to speak.....if you have been married that long, something good must be there...those "other" women might be out just for a lay or your $$$...doesnt mean they love you....

Is your wife not interested because she does not feel sexy? You can try different things to bring the heat back into the relationship....you know there is even medication ( if your that desperate) that your wife could take to increase her libido....

My suggestion is talk to her, be open with her...continue to love her and stay away from those "other" women...

Answer 3

First, do have her to see a doctor. Second, be completely honest with her. Tell her exactly how you feel and that you do not want to be tempted to find sex outside the marriage but she is putting you in a vulnerable situation. Be patient and kind when doing this and let her know that you understand what menopause has done to her. Believe me, I know! Let her know she is still as much of a woman as the day you first met her. However, she is still your wife and sex is a very important part of the marriage. Also, it could be a good time to beef up your skills in seducing her, let her see you in a whole new light. Take her out to dinner, shopping at Victoria's Secret or buy her favorite perfume. Help her feel sexy again. Let her know she is desirable and you still want her. Maybe, just maybe if you do this it will hit her how much you mean to her and how much you want intimacy with her. This could be her wake up call. I remember reading one time that sex is only ten percent of a marriage. However, when it goes wrong it effects the other ninety percent completely.

Answer 4

Very very common! This is caused by a couple of things.
Her hormone levels have dropped so that makes the physical desire drop.
I suggest progestorone cream which can be found at most health/herbal stores. It is a natural, non-invasive way to level out the hormone deficiencies.

Then there is the mentality of menopause that leads women to think that they are old, therefore undesirable. This one she has to work out on her own, all you can to is reaffirm that YOU find her beautiful and sexy.

Also keep in mind that when you are having sex there are a few adjustments that you should make to help her acheive pleasure. Foreplay should be extended, use of lubricant is an absolute necessity as her body is not producing as much natural lube anymore. The use of a clitoral stimulation by a vibrator is a great way to get things going.

But in all of this, keep in mind that she is not rejecting you and that communication is a must.

Answer 5

try doing just the opposite of what u normally do, normal=boring, Just start with you initiating it, i fshe us ally does. Maybe use a blind fold. Or sum early morning/middle of the nite surprise sex. Join her in the shower, even if it is just 2 make out. Your are never 2 old 2 just make out, a lot of people 4get that an that's important. A lot of women don't like porn, but it can be get 4 pointers and to have on when u guys are making love. But u need 2 talk 2 her and find out what would really turn her on. And I mean, talk in the sense of sexy, not a sit down power point symposium. But a soft whisper in the ear "what would you like me 2 do 4 u 2day" or " What would make u hot enuff 2 take me 2 bed, ( insert sexy name, i.e Stud, big boy, or daddy) Try leaving a note on the door 4 when he gets home 2 let him know u are in bed naked and waiting 4 him, cuz u couldn't stop thinking of him all day, and now u wanns release some of your backed up tension on him. Just start doing little things

Answer 6

Good luck...... If she isn't interested, she wont change unless she does something to change it. There is nothing that you can do. There are drugs and supplements that she can take to help her libido but with out her wanting to change this, you are out of luck. Make sure that you discuss this with her. remember that even though your thinking about sex alot, it doesnt even cross her mind, she has to be reminded that you still enjoy and want it. Don't tell her every day but talk to her and let her know whats going on. If you have a good relationship, she will do something to change the problem.

Answer 7

are you ready to walk away from a 19 year relationship because of sex.Is sex much more important to you than your friendship?Do you have children with your wife and if you do are you going to break up your family because of a 10 minute thing.You did not get together because of sex, you gat together because of friendship, sex is just one of the benefits, after 19 years in marriage, sex goes down hill for a number of factors, talk it out with her, be patient with her, try to spice it out, be kind and loving and sexy and maybe seek help from a professional, you mentioned that other women tell you that you are good looking, I am guessing that you have an image problem you don't feel so good about yourself,love yourself and be satisfied with who you are, don't wait for someone to tell you that you look good, you have to be confident about yourself,it may be that you have a problem and she is just reacting to that. Are you looking for an excuse for cheating? yours is not a good one, Love your self before you can love someone else and the whole situation will work out.thumbs up for your 19 years of marriage and don't let it go down the drain.good luck

Answer 8

Tell her this...What does good looking have to do with your wife's change of life? I hope your not starting to make excuses to be a player...
I'm sure your not as romantic as you once was either.
Just think how much you love her and be glad shes not trying to look at something newer after 19 years,change of life & a frustrated husband.

Answer 9

Charles, was she interested in intimacy before this change? Maybe she should see her doctor. Maybe she lost her romantic feelings, as a woman I know that we can get so tired from everything else that sex can feel like another chore to do. Help her more with everything else and romance her. There is also a book called "She comes first" By Dr Ian Turner that may help.

Answer 10

19 years is a long time, so congradulations! I would talk to her about your needs and what you want, if it is a medical thing there are hormone suppluments and lubricants to make things better for her and thus she may want to fool around more often. I haven't had it yet but I hear the change in life really messes a woman up until her hormones settle down.
I would guess after 19 years you often forget to tell your spouse that you still find them exciting and sexy. I know I don't tell my husband often but I still check his @ss out and like to check him out when he walks naked out of the bathroom LOL If we weren't having so many problems lately I would more apt to tell him.