Weve been together 10 yrs and seperated for 2 1/2 yrs. We have a lovely 3 year old. We have been seeing each other with our kid every weekend and seems like things are going to work out. But recently, he said let's file our divorce papers. I really want to save this marriage, especially with our child. It was my fault, I cheated on him before we seperated. Please help. He said to file the papers 3 times already but never did recently. How can I prevent it. Despearately need help.
2007-07-18 20:57:25 · 16 answers · asked by MC_help 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Have you tried counseling? Seems like he is trying but is remembering what caused the rift and it's bothering him enough to not want to get back together. Have you told him heart to heart that you are sorry and that you want your marriage to work (not just for the child, but for him too)? If he wants to file the papers, let him. He may be saying this to see what your response is, or just to make you hurt --like he did when you cheated. Try talking to him and see if he will agree to counseling.
2007-07-18 21:04:31 · answer #1 · answered by ♠♥ Miss Zora ♦♣ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's all fun and games until some one gets hurt...
you betrayed his trust and now you want things to go back to normal... sorry but it seems like that small glimpse of getting back together was probably his compassion and love for his child. Again, you made a mistake sacraficing your marriage, so you can't expect him to forgive you when you hurt him. Don't play the family card for trying to get him to stay. It may explode in your face because he might question how badly you want your family since you sacraficed it for an affair. You also can't make some one stay/love you when they don't want to. If you were in his shoes would you stay? And if you did would you be happy? No, you'd be constantly questioning and worrying about what they did and where they went. Face it... the marriage is over. And I'm not trying to be mean but... the truth hurts. This all could have been avoided.
2007-07-19 04:21:16 · answer #2 · answered by aleasha_Sam01 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Communicate with him openly...Ask him if thats what he really wants,ask him to really think things through, tell him how much you want the marriage to work,he needs to gain your trust all over again,some people just never get over being cheated on and others ... well times a healer,, but you need to respect his answer if it's a no and move on. Theres no point trying to make a reationship work if the other party does not want too, you will only damage what relationship you already have , and you need some sort of friendship for the sake of your kid.If he doesn't want to work things out you should respect that, if you really love him, you will want him to be happy.If he does say no, theres no point in crying and begging, it will only strain the relationship and thats not fair for the little one,Hope it helps .hope things work out for you.And if it's a no, well time will heal u and u will find another.
2007-07-19 04:21:21 · answer #3 · answered by springo88 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hopefully you can talk to your husband about how much you want to save the marriage..Maybe he feels the same way..But you need to be prepared for a divorce in case reason doesn't work. It's a matter of trust. Maybe after 21/2 yrs apart, he'll be okay again.. Good luck
2007-07-19 04:11:09 · answer #4 · answered by Thunderrolls 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you 2 sought marriage counseling? It's really up to him since you were the cheater. It's nearly impossible to gain trust back again once you have cheated on someone who loves you. If he is willing to try, suggest marriage counseling and hope he is amenable. If he is not, then there's no use knocking yourself out trying to get back with him. It will be months, if not years, before he will trust you again. Get the papers. Be a good girl and never do that again!
2007-07-19 04:06:19 · answer #5 · answered by gma 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't file the papers. If he really wants to divorce let him file. All I can really say is let him know how you feel and stay away from any man until the divorce is final. After that, move on, if he does not want to stay with you.
2007-07-19 07:29:46 · answer #6 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel that he loves you but not enough for him to continue to be married to you. If you can both seek counceling with a specialist, maybe you can address the real issues of your problems. 2.5 years is a long time to keep things in limbo. I wish you guys the best.
2007-07-19 04:08:29 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Face the facts ... It is never going to work if he has decided he dosent want to remain legally attached, also, he may have someone else on the scene, probably a reason he seems happy !!
Also remember, if in time he did change his outlook, you can always re-marry -
2007-07-19 04:35:06 · answer #8 · answered by TPE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that.s hy he filed for divorce. where you cheated on him as well you knew right from wrong being married and cheating dont go together this you know put the shoe on the other foot on cheating then you have your answer he knows you cheat again once this happens in a maggage it.s over fact he knows as well you to you broke a vow on your marrage to be faitful witch you wasnt dont blame no one but your self after all you brought this upon your self . in my opion?
2007-07-19 04:10:56 · answer #9 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry but it sounds like the ball is in his court. All you can do is show him that you will never do this again. Let him know that his child needs a dad. In either case the power to prevent this divorce is not in your hands anymore. You lost that power when you had the affair.
2007-07-19 04:08:13 · answer #10 · answered by Average Joe 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋