Sexual question: How do I tell my husband that I am interested in bondage?

Question

This is 100% a serious question. Here it goes:
Hubby and I have been married for 8 years. I actually have a higher sex drive than he does but, it doesn't really bother me much as I entertain myself :) Anyways, hubby is pretty shy when it comes to the bedroom. He performs wonderfully and likes to be control when having sex but, he turns all red-faced if I even dare try to talk about the actual acts. I guess he is a rare breed of guy!
I'm interested in spicing up our sex life and I would like to try light bondage. But, I have no clue how I should approach him about this. I'm afraid if I just say it to him that I will scare the crud out of him.
Anyone have any ideas how I could hint this to him without making him feel uncomfortable? Thanks!

Answer 1

start out simple and innocent, something non-threatening. scarves are nice. most women have some laying around. If you can present it like a game, that tends to take the taboo edge off. play the "minutes" game. (get an egg timer and set it to 1 minute. one person lays on the bed and grips the sheet or headboard and the other person does "things" to make the other person let go. Then trade places. after each person gets a turn, increase the time by 1 minute. Keep it happy and light. You might get on the internet together and find some fun toys (fuzzy handcuffs come to mind), by then, you'll know if it's going to work or not. Go out for dinner, then stop by a nicer sex shop"just to browse". Don't buy anything the first time in, but make note of a couple of things and go back the next time you go on a "date".

Answer 2

Okay here it is.......
First start simple, choose a costume that you know he will love, something sexy, and very naughty but playful. Dont ask him just wait till he is in a good mood ( check in with him like at work or something, or a weekend) be in the costume when he comes home and hopefully the outfit will help develop your character, If he asks what it's all about gently tell him he is not to talk hand him a drink (if he does) and help him out of his clothes etc. etc. and sit him down, put some music on, and if your up for it, do a lil' dance with some sexy music, and if he trys to touch you slap his hands or tie his hands 2gether, and make him so hot he doesnt even realize he's being introduced to it, after your dance lead him away to your bed or wherever you think he will like it most, and give him a couple a spankings...or nipple tweaks. talk dirty and encourage him to talk to you i.e. " Do u like that?" etc.
after it's all said and done, talk to him about it more, and Im almost sure he will be a lot more interested.
Good luck

Answer 3

I say get a game from an adult store that isn't only bondage, but involves it during the game. When you draw that card that says for him to tie you up, or etc, play it off. See how he reacts while he is doing it. You will then know if he is even capable of it, without flatout asking "will you tie me up." This is how I got my wife into it years back, I used the game to introduce it to her and when she didn't freak out I mentioned we should try more of that, me tying her up though. The rest is history :-)

Now, I do understand that if he is that shy he may not even like the games. So therefore, ask him if he has any hidden fantasies he hasn't told you - he will get red I know since he is shy. Once he tells you (if he does), tell him yours. If he doesn't tell you, start it off and ask him to tell you his. Something along those lines. I wish you luck, add me on yahoo messenger as mastermike_25 if you have anymore questions!

Answer 4

I was in your Husbands situation many years ago. I was pretty new at this sort of thing. She was into submission / Bondage in a big way.
She never told me about her real desires until it was too late.
I am sure she loved me but looked elsewhere to get what she needed.
My point is that I would have loved to give her what she was looking for and in fact did get involved with the lifestyle years later.
Be upfront and honest with your Husband. If he doesn't know, tell him. Start slow, let him get used to what you want.
As someone else mentioned, get some movies on the subject to get you both talking.
You might be surprised with how things go.

Answer 5

If I were your guy, which I'm not and not much into bondage, I guess I would approach it like this:

" I love you! You are the best I've ever had. Have you ever wondered about pushing the sexual limits a little further? How would you like to see me in some furry handcuffs? And maybe some lingerie? Or maybe nothing at all? How would you like to be MY porn star? You've got what it takes. Why not go a little bit further?"

That would work for me for sure.

Answer 6

A little less talk and lot more action. Forget discussing it if that makes him uncomfortable. Break out some scarves and ask him to tie you to the bedpost and then pretend he's a bear and you're covered in honey haaaaaaaaaaa I'm just joking. Well, at least about the bear/honey part. Seriously, don't talk it to death, just do it. Go slow. If he truly isn't comfortable with the idea then don't do it. It won't be any fun if you aren't both enjoying it. Think if he asked you to do something that makes you uncomfortable. You wouldn't have fun. Find a middle ground and get down to it!

Answer 7

I don't know anything about bondage other than it's subduing your partner and putting them in a submissive and vulnerable position. I would start out subtle and work into it. He may just not be into it and may feel you aren't as satisfied with him as he is with you without the paraphernalia. Really, I think I would talk to him about it, just put some ideas out there, look at a magazine together and see what he thinks. Don't make him feel threatened or pressured.

Answer 8

Tell him you want to try something different.
Start out with subtle hints. When he is on top, take his hands in yours and place them over your head...(as if he is holding you down). You say " likes to be control in when having sex", maybe he will enjoy this. If that goes well, tie some silk ties, scarves or stockings to the bed post. Slip your hands in to the loops while he is on top. Just take it a little at a time. Good luck.

Answer 9

Just talk to him. Let him know bondage is what you'd like to try. You can agree to be the submissive one, if it makes him more comfortable. Agree on a safe word to stop, if it makes him more comfortable. You could watch bondage flicks together. Let him know sex doesn't have to serious, theres several games that you can play!

Answer 10

The whole preface of a marriage is being open and honest. That honesty also reaches into the bedroom. Bring it up in conversation or while you're fooling around. You can say "You know what would get me so turned on right now..." start with something small like spanking or him being a little rough with you. I guarantee that it will get him crazy.