baby...school...work...stressing?

Question

I'm sort of overwhelmed right now. I'm 32 weeks pregnant with my first baby, a little boy, and up until now the plan was for my partner to work 50-60 hour weeks so that I could stay home, avoiding childcare expenses and allowing me to take care of my own baby.

Tonight, though, he said that he plans to go back to school in August and cut down to 40 hours a week. I'm all for him furthering his education, but we'll barely get our bills paid on 40 hours a week, so I'll have to go to work. Which is fine, except all the jobs I could get would leave me with $200 a month after childcare and taxes. My mom could babysit, but only after 5, which rules out most jobs. And school starts in August and I won't be able to work till November.

What would you do? Suck it up for two years while he earns his degree? Ask him to wait till NEXT semester so I can get settled in with baby and a job? Find an at-home job? Of course I'll discuss it with him but he's at work and I wanted opinions NOW.

We are adults in our early 20s, thank you.

And my mother has ASKED to babysit her grandchild. Wow, I think you seriously misunderstood and thought I meant he was finishing high school. He's finishing his bachelor's degree.

Answer 1

I like your idea of asking him to wait one semester. That way you can stay home with your baby while he's young and it will give you time to either find an at-home job, a job that will work with your mother's hours so she can babysit, and you won't be throwing money away to childcare. Your baby is only a newborn once, school is always there. One semester won't hurt him. I work from home doing transcription and other typing services. It's hard to find clients but I fortunately got help setting up (fax machine, transcription units, client lists, etc.). You might want to look into that. However, I did get a part-time job, because the at-home work was slow and I also needed to pay my bills. Good luck!

Answer 2

I don't mean this rude at all, but it would have been nice if he hadn't just told you his plans tonight, but sat down with you & made a plan together. Don't get me wrong, I think education is very important, plus it can help him in the job & income market later on. But I really think the best bet would be for him to wait until the Spring semester, or maybe just take a couple online classes in the fall. That gives you time home with baby, plus time to find good childcare & a decent job. I think that would work best for everyone involved.

Answer 3

Totally talk to him.. you need time to settle in with baby and your job. I'm sure he means well and wants to start preparing for a brighter future/career. So, he may even think that he is doing this for your benefit. But right now, no one knows how you'll recover from childbirth. AND you've got a lot of sleepless nights ahead of you. Maternity leave is usu only covered for 6 wks-12 wks if you'r a corp bigwig. See how this sounds to your husband and if he can work it into your sched. The last thing he needs is a cranky sleep deprived wife. If possible next semester or just part time college. Find a way to reach a happy medium. Explain to him that this is your first child and you dont know what to expect but you do know that you want to be able to enjoy as much of him/her as possible.

Answer 4

It's his life too. But I do think he should at least put going back to school on hold for a little while until you're able to work anyway. Wouldn't you get like a parenting payment or something? Sit down & have a talk to him, make him listen to how you feel. Good Luck!!

Answer 5

I'm wondering if he was just thinking out loud when he said he wants to go back to school. You obviously know him better than I do, so if he likes to just throw out ideas to see how they sound, there's no point worrying until y'all talk.

Answer 6

Your mom shouldn't have to babysit YOUR baby... He got himself into this, and his child should come first before ANYTHING else... (including school) how old are you both anyways?